The High Cost of Selling Your Soul

How I Overcame My Self-Employed Head?Trash

Our head trash is the enemy within. I’m going to give you a case study called You, Inc.?

It’s for anyone self-employed.

I’m writing to other creative, outlying, self-employed misfits who hate being told what to do and where to be at any time, let alone what to wear, say, or post on social media.

Live free or die, bitch.

Maybe you're a consultant, trusted advisor, or freelancer. What matters most is how much you love what you do and your ability to enjoy the lifestyle you choose.

The cost I’m talking about is beyond any amount of money. It’s a cosmic or existential cost of the soul.

Hello, My Name Is Cliff, and I’m a Coachsultant

In case you’re wondering what I do for a living, I “coachsult” company owners, professionals, businesses of one, and small teams striving for revenue without losing their minds or jobs.?

I’ve been doing it for decades. My father told me that if I could learn to communicate well, sell, and help others, I’d have a shot at a pretty good life. I help my clients communicate their value to their ideal clients.?

We get revenue.

Dad was right. I’ve never been out of work. I’m not bragging. It’s just that if you can sell, you can always find work.?

That’s basically what I teach my small business clients: how to get clients, get paid, and get cash flow and money in the bank.

How to sleep well at night.

None of us want to go back to our old day jobs. It’s our worst nightmare.

If you’re self-employed and don’t have enough clients, income, or profit, then your primary job is figuring it out.

Case Study for You,?Inc.

I’ve been through this scenario 10,000 times, or so it seems.?

Remember, you are self-employed. You’re somewhat established and living well despite the potential ebb and flow of cash.

You meet a new client who loves you. They love you so much that they make you an offer to work full time for them.?

You’re willing to consider it because you’re just coming off a big project and thinking you can get a decent fee and see how it goes.

Doing so will require you to pivot away from getting other or new clients for the most part. That’s the expectation, typically.

You dive in believing there could be something bigger in your client's business than yours. Maybe it’s a commission or a fatter fee.?

It could be referrals or stock options if it’s a startup.

You do your best, as always. You show up on time, do the job right the first time, and on time, every time, sometimes early.?

You’re a professional.

Infatuation Knocks

Do you know how we go on a hot date and confuse infatuation with love? It can be disastrous for some of us.

The same thing can happen with clients in the business world. A client falls in love with you, or so they think.?

They want you full-time. But remember:

Infatuation always wears off. Love is unconditional.

The infatuation with your new gig building someone else's business starts to wear off after some time.?

You begin to notice something doesn't feel right deep inside, but you're not sure what. You keep doing your best for the client.?

You start waking up in the middle of the night thinking about your client and whether you’re doing the right thing for them.?

For yourself.

You might feel stress, anxiety, or something not right.

Even though they pay you okay, it's different from what you could make if you return to focusing on your business.?

You convince yourself the short-term sacrifice might be worth it because we all suffer from?…

The fear of missing out. FOMO.

Soon enough, something happens with your client. The client crosses an invisible boundary.

Something gets triggered deep inside you, and you decide you've had enough.

You tell the client it's over, give them fair notice, and then it starts to occur to you that the reason you felt something was wrong is?...

You were selling your personal powers, gifts, and treasures to someone else who could never afford to pay you full-time, even if you liked working with and for other people.

You were selling your soul.?

Unless one is soulless, the soul will cry out. It will guide us gently back on course if we’re open, willing, and honest enough to believe in a power greater than us.

Soon, with your new awareness comes clarity.?

You shake off the dark energy that was building within you: your fears, self-loathing, and head trash.

You realize you’ve sold out. If it’s the first time, it might feel like a small scud missile struck you in the solar plexus, but you’ll get over it.

We all have head trash. We all fear missing out. We all fear not being good enough.

That’s the battle within.

It runs you over if we don't deal with your head trash.?

That’s why the “truth will set us free.”?

If we accept the truth, most of us need a massive wake-up call, pain, and suffering to change what we can.?

It hurts to wake up to the truth.

When we focus on changing what we can, we let go of trying to control the uncontrollable, which is insane. No matter how good you are, you can’t control other people’s businesses.?

You can do what you do and do it well. You can control you, sort of.

You can stick to your lane by being more self-aware.

Whenever you are tempted by an offer, including equity or stock options, take a big step back and consider what’s truly important to you.

Your freedom. Your purpose.

Think about your purpose, gifts, and what you love to do, helping others get what they want.

And stick to that!

You are You, Inc.?

You serve others by doing what you love and doing your best.?

You work with people. You don't work for people.

Never sell out.

Thanks for reading, commenting, and sharing my article. It was originally published on Medium. I help people “Discover the Art of Business Development” by writing, speaking, coaching, and advocating for entrepreneurship and small business success. Check me out on YouTube @ArtfulLivingChannel. Learn more about my consulting at www.CliffordJones.com or subscribe to The Clarity Letter on Substack.