Hierarchy of Suffering

I have just started reading, ‘The Choice’, written by Dr. Edith Eva Eger. Going through the foreword section, the author shares through her own experience, how one can overcome suffering and choose to embrace joy and freedom in the most challenging circumstances. 

As I flipped through the first few pages, there was one thing that grabbed my attention. In reference to suffering, the author explains, that there is no ‘hierarchy of suffering’.

Author’s own words, “There is nothing that makes my pain worse or better than yours, no graph on which we can plot the relative importance of one sorrow over another.”  

The ‘hierarchy of suffering’, resonated quite well with me. I recall multiple instances in past, where my friends shared with me, the hard times they were going through. I now realise, that my instant reply was, that, ‘I too have experienced a similar or worse situation than they have’. The things I did to overcome hardship followed this. 

The question is, why was I mentioning about or magnifying my own experience over someone else experience? Was I hoping that narrating my own experience will help cushion my friend’s pain? Alternatively, was I ignorant about my own behaviour? 

In my opinion, every individual is different. Every individual has his own unique story. If I start comparing my own experience to others experience, it’s like discounting their suffering and changing focus from him to me. In turn making their feelings and emotions sound insignificant. I believe, more than getting a solution to overcome suffering, the other person wants to be listened to with empathy and compassion.

Happy to get your views?