Hidden voice of Barbara

2.6 NAME: Barbara COUNTRY OF ORIGIN: Jamaica AGE: 40 CHILDREN: Children, 25, 19 and 17 years , The one who is 25 years lives in Jamaica ORIGINAL OCCUPATION : in Jamaica, Hairdresser and works in a bar TIME ON THE ISLAND: 12 years

Eleven years ago I saw a message pop up on my phone screen. It was an unknown number and I was like," YESSSS, this is my friend Maria! "

She had promised to text me if she moved abroad. She gave me a lot of advice on how to go abroad and upon arrival she would help me on my way. Immediately I started to arrange everything.

Just as I was about to buy a ticket to St. Maarten, I thought, “Let me see if this is correct. She said, no you have to buy a ticket to Cura?ao! "

I had never heard of that name. All my friends went to St. Maarten and Panama.

Once arrived in Cura?ao Maria waited for me at Hato. In the beginning I cycled a lot to discover the island. Actually, I thought I would see snow in Cura?ao and all would be in English here. By placing one paid advertisement in Via Via, I immediately found a job as a cleaner.

I was very disappointed in Maria, she turned out not to be my girlfriend at all. We lived in a house with her friends, but they stole all my money. As a solution, I sent the money I had earned to Jamaica. When they found out, they just put my suitcase out on the street. They thought I should share all my money with them. That is impossible? After all, I also had to take care of my children in Jamaica. You really have to take care of yourself and stay strong.

I wanted a better life for my children and tried to help them as much as possible. It was so awful and I missed them terribly. Eventually, even though they don't speak English here, I decided to bring my youngest daughter here. Here she can gain knowledge in hospitality that she can use later in Jamaica. It's also a good idea she's here. Cura?ao is so much safer! In Jamaica, especially as a woman, you have to know what you are doing and you have to be very careful. You could be murdered for no reason. In addition to the many murders, there is also a huge number of rapes. Every day you live in fear that something will happen to you.

As a single mother without financial support from the father, it was very difficult. I have worked very hard. And it is even more difficult if you have no papers.

People take advantage of this a lot. Sometimes you don't get paid. You are so powerless and you cannot do anything at all. A friend of mine worked as a live-in from 6 a.m. to 8 p.m. and only receives ? 750 a month. The minimum wage must be NLG 1500, but because she is illegal, they only pay her half. You can't deal with people like that, can you? It's just not fair! Really not HONEST.

Another problem is that some people only want to hire you for 4 hours while the work takes you 7 hours. To get there you often have to take 2 buses, which can quickly cost you 6 guilders. Don't forget that you also have to go home and pay for the bus again. It hardly makes sense to work for them.

The problem here is that the people have a lot of power. They know it is hard to find work and they treat you very badly. They know that I am powerless. If I had papers I would have simply gone to the Labor Secretary to be treated equally.

The advantage of my appearance is that I don't stand out. When people see me on the street, they think I'm a local person. If I want to stay out of trouble, I just speak Papiamento. Unlike the Venezuelans, they look different and are therefore afraid of the police. I'm not scared here. Fortunately for them, the police are now checking less at Covid-19.

You know, it's so important that you save money. I know I don't have any papers, so I save all my money. When my daughter was ill, we had to go to hospital. Because I had savings, I could pay the bill immediately. They treated us well there. Another advantage is that if you can save money here, you can transfer money to Jamaica. The exchange rate is advantageous, with which you can save a lot in Jamaica.

Fortunately, I have always saved money.

Since Covid-19 I have lost all my work. It really is a serious disaster that is far from over. I have already placed a paid advertisement in the Via Via 3 times and still have not found a job. Life in Cura?ao has become much more difficult. It's also because I don't have any papers. If I had those papers, I could have applied at the hotels. They only want people with papers.

You know, I'm smart and I've always made it. For a while I was able to live of the money in my Jamaican account. This way I could pay my rent, water and electricity. My landlord also needs money to live from. If I hadn't saved money what would have happened to me?

My worries are growing because my savings have now run out. My daughter is unemployed. We can still eat every day, but we have to limit ourselves.

Fortunately, a friend helps me and a man who comes by every now and then supports me too.

There are also those of the Church who are helping. They don't have to do it; they do it because they have a good heart. I am so grateful to them.

Someone also helped me with a ticket from the Red Cross. I then had to give that person my ID so I could get this ticket. With this I can buy some food. The problem is that not all undocumented migrants get help. Many people are very scared. They do not dare to come into contact or provide their identity details. I'm not afraid!

I have no idea what my future looks like. I cannot see into the future.

I am frustrated that I cannot work. Now I just think about these difficult times. I have to do things, but I have no money.

I hate taking help from my friends because I know it stresses them too, even if they don't say so.

It's better if you work. Then you earn money which is also better for your state of mind. You can't sit still all day, can you? Then you sit down to think, which in turn causes stress.

I called the boss I last worked for. Unfortunately, she cannot help me find work because she can no longer pay me. It is now the most difficult time for me in Cura?ao, in all the 12 years that I have lived here. Not having a job is so annoying. You can also see it in Punda and Otrobanda; there is nothing but the sun. It is completely destroying the country and we will soon be locked again.

I have to survive no matter how long it takes. As long as we have water and I pray, we can survive. I can't do anything else.

I'm not going to rob a bank or steal from anyone. God will always be there for me and I will be strong.

My thanks go out to all the people who helped with this project:

Project Creator & Manager:     Berber van Beek ( Studiorootz – photography)

Photography:                                         Berber van Beek

Text and Interview:                            Yolanda Wiel & Berber van Beek

Translator’s:                                           Carlos Monasterios en Judy Wassenberg

Assistant:                                                 Ivonne Zegveld, Mareine van Beek en Reina Keijzers