Hidden Landmines: What’s Disrupting Your Relationships and Execution?

Assumptions. It’s a necessary way to think about it because it’s true—assumptions are unseen landmines that cause misunderstanding, misalignment, and missed opportunities in every area of our lives.

Knowing this, what’s the best assumption you can make?

Assume, in each and every moment, that you are making assumptions.

That shift in awareness alone is enough to recalibrate your thinking and improve how you navigate relationships and decision-making.

Zooming Out: The Function of an Assumption

Before we vilify assumptions, let’s acknowledge their function. Assumptions aren’t inherently bad; they serve a purpose.

What do we do when we don’t have the whole story? When information is unavailable? When details are left out? When looking into the unknown future?

We fill in the blanks.

It’s a cognitive shortcut. It happens automatically, often subconsciously. And, much of the time, our assumptions are correct enough to keep us moving forward.

But here’s the danger: unexamined assumptions are landmines waiting to sabotage our best interests and efforts.

Assumptions, when left unchecked, lead to false conclusions, unnecessary complexity, and preventable friction in our personal and professional lives.

The safest and most strategic approach? Assume at all times that there are hidden assumptions in the mix.

Two Categories of Assumptions

Not all assumptions are created equal. The way we manage them determines whether they limit us or strengthen us. Let's put some definitions around two versions or types of assumptions (I'm sure there are more or other ways to categorize them):

1. Personal Assumptions - These are the mental shortcuts and beliefs we hold about ourselves, others, and the world, often shaping our perceptions, decisions, and interactions. They exist on a spectrum from naive/unconscious assumptions—which operate automatically and without scrutiny—to conscious assumptions, which we recognize but may not be willing to challenge.
2. Operating Assumptions - These are named, acknowledged, and agreed-upon assumptions that allow a group to function productively. The key difference? They are explicit rather than implicit.

Assumptions Either Limit or Liberate

Ignorant Assumptions limit you and create unnecessary complexity.

• They cause miscommunication.
• They reinforce biases.
• They make us react rather than respond.
• They leave us solving the wrong problems.

Inventoried Assumptions unleash you and make you more robust.

• They expose hidden blind spots.
• They reduce misunderstandings.
• They create alignment and clarity.
• They elevate both speed and safety.
• They allow us to focus and execute.

Managing Complexity, Striving for Simplicity

At its core, managing assumptions is about managing complexity.

When we assume we have all the information, we create unnecessary obstacles. When we assume there’s more to discover, we invite curiosity, precision, and better outcomes.

If you want to improve communication, reduce friction, and simplify your life, start with this simple shift: assume you’re making assumptions. Then, take responsibility for making them explicit.

That’s how you turn assumptions from a disruptor into a tool for clarity.

Landmines Are Everywhere

In case you want to get thorough, here's a solid (but not exhausted) list of many of the assumptions we are bringing to every interaction, to every project, and to every relationship.

1. Assumptions About People

• Intentions – Assuming you know what someone meant or why they did something.
• Knowledge – Assuming others know what you know.
• Understanding – Assuming they grasp your meaning or perspective.
• Feelings & Emotions – Assuming how someone feels without asking.
• Trustworthiness – Assuming someone is honest or deceitful without evidence.
• Competence – Assuming someone is capable (or incapable) of doing something.
• Motivations – Assuming you know what drives someone’s actions or decisions.
• Bias & Stereotypes – Assuming based on generalizations about race, gender, culture, or background.
• Availability – Assuming someone is free, willing, or able to do something.

2. Assumptions About Communication

• Clarity – Assuming your message is clear and understood.
• Tone & Meaning – Assuming intent behind an email, text, or comment without verifying.
• Shared Language – Assuming words mean the same thing to different people.
• Listening – Assuming people are paying attention or interpreting your message the way you intend.

3. Assumptions About Relationships

• Reciprocity – Assuming that others will treat you the way you treat them.
• Commitment – Assuming shared expectations about the relationship’s future.
• Unspoken Agreements – Assuming mutual understanding without explicit discussion.
• Perceived Stability – Assuming a relationship will always remain the same.

4. Assumptions About Work & Teams

• Role Clarity – Assuming everyone understands their responsibilities.
• Expectations – Assuming others know what is expected of them.
• Decision-Making – Assuming alignment on how decisions will be made.
• Accountability – Assuming others will follow through without clear agreements.
• Efficiency – Assuming the way things have always been done is the best way.

5. Assumptions About Processes & Systems

• Reliability – Assuming a system or tool will always function as expected.
• Authority – Assuming the person in charge has all the answers.
• Scalability – Assuming a process that works on a small scale will work at a larger scale.
• Standardization – Assuming the same rules apply in different contexts.

6. Assumptions About Decision-Making

• Data Accuracy – Assuming all information is correct or complete.
• Objectivity – Assuming decisions are being made without bias.
• Future Outcomes – Assuming you can predict results with certainty.
• Risk Awareness – Assuming you’ve accounted for all possible risks.

7. Assumptions About Learning & Intelligence

• Innate Ability – Assuming intelligence or talent is fixed rather than developed.
• Comprehension – Assuming others learn or understand at the same pace.
• Experience Equivalence – Assuming your experience translates directly to another situation.

8. Assumptions About Change & Growth

• Personal Change – Assuming people don’t change (or assuming they always do).
• Resistance to Change – Assuming others will automatically resist change.
• Adaptability – Assuming everyone adjusts at the same pace.

9. Assumptions About Culture & Society

• Norms & Customs – Assuming what’s normal for you is universal.
• Generational Perspectives – Assuming older or younger people see things the same way.
• Political Views – Assuming someone shares your political stance (or opposes it).

10. Assumptions About Time & Priorities

• Urgency – Assuming what’s urgent for you is urgent for others.
• Priorities – Assuming people share the same priorities.
• Time Availability – Assuming people have the time to do what you expect.

11. Assumptions About Technology & Innovation

• Automation – Assuming technology will always solve the problem.
• Tech Savviness – Assuming everyone has the same level of comfort with technology.
• Security – Assuming digital systems are always secure.

12. Assumptions About Money & Value

• Wealth & Spending – Assuming someone’s financial situation based on appearances.
• Worth & Pricing – Assuming people will value something the same way you do.
• Compensation – Assuming people are paid fairly for their work.

13. Assumptions About Health & Well-Being

• Physical Health – Assuming someone is healthy (or unhealthy) based on appearance.
• Mental Health – Assuming someone is fine just because they don’t talk about struggles.
• Lifestyle Choices – Assuming what works for you will work for others.

14. Assumptions About Success & Achievement

• Definition of Success – Assuming success looks the same for everyone.
• Hard Work vs. Luck – Assuming success is solely due to effort (or just luck).
• Timelines for Success – Assuming success happens within a certain timeframe.

15. Assumptions About Reality & Truth

• Perspective vs. Truth – Assuming your perspective is the objective truth.
• Consensus Reality – Assuming what most people believe is correct.
• Personal Bias – Assuming you see things clearly without bias.

As you can see, assumptions are everywhere. Stay vigilant!

-Dave