The Hidden Dangers of Subconscious Leadership

"Keep quiet! You dare not speak until you're spoken to! Who on earth do you think you are??" Modele stood there with her head hanging, thoughts racing through her mind. Why does this always happen to me? She wondered if she carried a label on her forehead that reads " Treat me like crap"

As soon as Mr Mark entered his office, Modele slowly lifted her head up and sniffed. She swallowed hard and fought back a tear. Modele rushed back to her desk, pretending as nothing had happened. 

Mr Mark was that way, Only that Modele fast became the first point of contact to all his aggression. She had stayed faithful all these years, tried everything she knew. All her acquired strategies of dealing with the viper only lasted for a while. Yet, this man stood unflinching. She had to do something! She couldn't stand the embarrassment and shame this was causing for her. 

The alarm rang rudely at 4:30 am. Modele tossed and turned, she had taken enough. She slowly opened the drawer and smiled at the sight of the carefully composed resignation letter. Modele had been saving this for the rainy day. Today was that day. Her heart was convinced. It was time.

She went to Mr Mark with the carefully prepared letter, She didn't care anymore how the company will deal with her leaving, especially because she held a key position within the company. She was going on to start a new enterprise, finally, no one to yell and treat her like a puppet! She heaved a sigh of relief at the thought of that. 

The silence broke through the walls as Modele walked out of the small office. People wondered how she had silenced the roar of the lion! Then the gossip began! All because she had decided to choose a new path.

Ever wondered what role you played?

Being Modele or Mr Mark. Perhaps you, like Mr Mark you have somehow picked up that bad habit.

Many times, we pick habits, values, character and behavioural traits subconsciously. With a little or low level of self-awareness the monster blossoms. As leaders; managers, heads of department, heads of units e.t.c it's up to you to sift the good from the bad; the beautiful from the ugly and make the best out of you. Everyone, leaders or not need to gain mastery in crafting a Leadership Vision and must invest in and intentional develop self-awareness mastery. 

 Although Modele hated the way she was being treated by her boss, she still channelled that energy rightly, pushed her way through, to do her best at work. She was able to manage how it affected her work and even self-esteem as a person. If she had learnt anything at all, it was emotional intelligence and people management; and she was grateful for that because walking away sometimes is the fruit of emotional mastery.

In all fairness, Mr Mark was not a terrible person, not at all; he just seemed to have inherited the leadership traits and behaviours of his old boss, Mr Teniki. Mr Mark subconscious modelled Mr Teniki without even his own knowledge. He had also been treated very poorly in his previous job and did not realize how much it had affected him and was now affecting his relationship with other people. Truly, How important is the role of Self-Awareness in the Leadership Development Journey? Mr Mark has become the monster he detested and because of his low self-awareness and EQ, he never realised this, also, he never healed from the trauma of his terrible working experiences.

Therefore, It's up to every leader, every person, to decide which line they stand-in, but it is highly important that you as a leader re-assess your leadership style vis-a-vis your past experiences, there may be some leaky pipes that require a fix.

Question: Are you the leader you want to be? Or are you living off an old script? Share below. Follow the series, comment below, ask a question, SHARE, and tag a colleague. 

Kemi Ogunkoya is a Leadership Transitioning & Executive Onboarding Strategist. She is an advocate of youth and women empowerment. Asides work, Kemi loves spending quality time with her family and loves to play tennis. Follow Kemi on Instagram  @kemi.ogunkoya and join The PowerWoman Network  (Women Only) to join a new tribe of women disruptors.