The Hidden Cost of Control: How Controlling Coaches and Leaders Impact High Performers in Sports and Business

Let’s get real: control is a performance killer. Whether you’re an athlete, a coach, a CEO or a team leader, we all know that the drive for excellence (and sometimes perfection) can sometimes push us into control mode. But trying to control every little detail could be holding your team back. In both sports and business, the ripple effects of controlling behaviour are undeniable - and they aren’t good.

Sports: When Control Stifles Talent

Imagine you’re a talented athlete, fully committed to your craft. You’ve put in the hours, you’ve visualised success and you’re ready to compete. The best moments in sports often come when athletes are in the zone - trusting their preparation, making quick decisions and letting their instincts lead. But here’s the catch: when coaches try to control every move, that freedom vanishes.

Controlling coaches may think they’re helping - maybe they’re shouting instructions from the sidelines, breaking down every mistake, being critical or insisting on their way as the only way. But this approach creates an environment of fear and hesitation. Athletes start playing not to lose rather than playing to win. They become afraid to take risks, afraid to make mistakes and most critically, they lose that vital connection to their own internal drive. And when that happens, performance suffers. Confidence dips, creativity fades and joy - one of the most critical components of sustained excellence (in any sports environment) - is nowhere to be found.

Business: The Micromanager’s Dilemma

The same thing happens in business. Think about the last time you felt micromanaged. Maybe it was a boss who second-guessed your every decision or hovered over your work, pointing out flaws but never recognising the good. It’s draining, right? Just like athletes, professionals need room to express their strengths and make decisions without feeling watched or judged at every turn.

Micromanagement might feel like leadership, but it’s just control dressed up in disguise. And here’s the truth: it erodes trust faster than almost anything else. When people feel controlled, they disengage. They stop bringing new ideas to the table, they shy away from taking initiative and they start playing it safe. This might keep things neat and predictable, but it’s a surefire way to stifle innovation and stunt growth.

The Power of Trust and Autonomy

So, what’s the antidote? It’s simple but not easy: trust. Trust your athletes, trust your employees. Set clear expectations, create a shared vision and then let them fly. Give them space to own their journey, to make mistakes and to learn from them.

In sports, this looks like a coach who builds relationships based on mutual respect, who guides but doesn’t dictate and who helps athletes connect their training to a deeper sense of purpose. In business, it’s a leader who empowers their team, who asks questions instead of giving directive, and who celebrates effort and progress, not just results (though these are clearly important).

Great coaches and leaders know that you don’t grow talent by controlling it; you grow talent by cultivating an environment of psychological safety where people feel seen, heard and valued for who they are - not just for what they can produce.

Final Thoughts: Leading with Purpose Over Control

In the end, whether you’re leading a team on the field or in the office, the goal is the same: to help people unlock their full potential. And that doesn’t happen through control. It happens through connection, through trust and by creating an environment where people feel free to be at their best.

So next time you’re tempted to control, pause and ask yourself: how can I lead with purpose instead? Because when people feel trusted and empowered, that’s when the magic happens - and that’s when true high performance can really take off.

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SIDEBAR

What If You’re That Leader or Coach?

Let’s get real - if you’re reading this and thinking, “I might be that controlling coach or leader,” don’t panic. The fact that you’re self-aware enough to consider this is already a huge first step. We’ve all been there, especially when the stakes are high and the pressure is on. It’s easy to slip into control mode when you care deeply about outcomes. But here’s the good news: it’s never too late to change, and small shifts can make a big difference.

1. Start with Self-Reflection

Ask yourself: What’s driving my need to control? Often, it’s fear - fear of failure, fear of not meeting expectations or even fear of looking like you’re not in charge. Being aware of these triggers is key. Once you understand what’s fuelling your behaviour, you can begin to shift from fear-based control to trust-based leadership.

2. Build Trust Through Vulnerability

Vulnerability isn’t a weakness - it’s a strength. Sharing your own challenges, admitting when you don’t have all the answers and being open about your growth journey can build stronger connections with your team. It shows them that you’re in this together, and it invites them to step up rather than shy away. Trust is a two-way street, and when you model it, you’ll see it mirrored back.

3. Shift from Command to Collaboration

Instead of dictating every move, start asking more questions. “What do you think we should do here?” “How would you approach this situation?” It’s amazing what happens when you invite your athletes or team members into the problem-solving process. Not only does it empower them, but it also brings fresh perspectives that you might not have considered. Collaboration fosters ownership, and ownership drives engagement.

4. Celebrate Effort, Not Just Results

One of the biggest reasons people fear making mistakes is that they’re often only recognised when they get things right. Change the narrative. Celebrate the effort, the risks taken and the learning moments along the way. When people feel safe to fail, they’re more likely to push their boundaries and innovate. Remember, growth doesn’t come from getting it right every time; it comes from being willing to try, adapt and try again.

5. Let Go of Perfection

Perfection is an illusion. Trying to control everything to get the perfect outcome is not only exhausting for you but also stifling for your team. Embrace the messiness of the process. High performers thrive when they know that they can bring their whole, imperfect selves to the task. It’s about progress, not perfection.

6. Reconnect to Your Why

Why did you become a coach or a leader in the first place? Reconnect to that purpose. Often, when we lose sight of our why, we grasp onto control because it gives us a false sense of direction. But when you lead with purpose, your focus shifts from controlling outcomes to inspiring performance. And that’s where the magic happens.