#HeyYouToo first :: #MeToo last

Hats Off to you Tanushree Dutta! You have shaken up the entire country. You have given courage to many more women to #speak up and share their #MeToo agony.

When so many #MeToo stories are pouring around one wonders, what is the reaction from the men’s world. I will tell you what their reaction is. Most men, especially the ones who think women as commodity (cheez – tu cheez badi hai mast mast… remember?) are shell-shocked. In this context my respect for actor Akshaya Kumar has grown manyfold. To the best of my knowledge his was the first voice of substance, when he came out on the open and declared that he would not work with #MeToo offenders.

One does not have to be a genius to realise that exploitation of power and the privileged over helplessness and the deprived has been an ongoing spectacle since the origin of human civilisation. Though #MeToo movement has by and large caused a disruption mainly in film industry, at least so far, it has far reaching implications in almost every industry. Workforce homogeneity is under threat. The question therefore needs to be asked - does it take a Tanushree Dutta to start a #MeToo movement every decade or so, to rekindle the topic and infuse a sense of sort in humanity?      

I happened to take notice of following two recent stories…

“Since picking up a wrench as one of the first woman car mechanics in conservative Pakistan, Uzma Nawaz has faced two reactions: shock and surprise first, and a bit of respect next” – says this article, titled “This mechanic is driving change in Pakistan” that appeared in THE HINDU few weeks ago.    

The 24-years-old spent years overcoming entrenched gender stereotypes and financial hurdles en route to earning a mechanical engineering degree and landing a job with an auto repairs garage in the eastern city of Multan.

Her achievements are rare. Women have long struggled for their rights in Pakistan, and especially in rural areas are often encouraged to marry young and devote themselves to family over career.

Back home some time ago, our own Hima Das rose to fame for being the first ever Indian athlete to win a GOLD medal in a world championship track event. On July 2018, at Tampere, Finland, having run a slower first half, she stunned the entire world by the way she accelerated on the last 100 meter stretch, overtaking her three nearest competitors one after another, and winning the 400 meters finals clocking 51.46 seconds! 

There are two common themes in both the stories I cited. Actually three. First is purely a coincidence. Both the names, Uzma and Hima, have a common rhyme. Second, both of them broke the gender stereotypes and followed their passion with discipline and determination. “There is no need in our society for girls to work at workshops, it doesn’t seem nice, but it is her passion. She can now set up the machinery. I too am very happy” – says Uzma’s father, Muhammad Nawaz.

The third, and probably the most important one, is that fact that they did not undergo any specialised training programs meant for women. They preferred to train with the boys instead. “Normally when girls starts to train with the boys, they tend to improve their performance level. And Hima was so desperate to improve that she always wanted to run with the boys” – recalls Hima’s Coach Nipon Das in this TOI article titled, “Hima Das preferred to train with boys: Coach”

Now the reason I wanted to cite these two examples at this point in time is not to emphasize on my personal view that workforce homogeneity brings out the best from humans at workplace, but to ask this critical question – “Would Uzma and Hima too have faced #MeToo challenge?”

Probably…

“Would they continue to face #MeToo challenge in future as well?”

Probably…

A ‘yes’ answer to these set of questions is not only demeaning, but also depressing, and shameful.

So what is the solution? How do we dismantle myths and gender stereotypes, cultivate a culture of mutual respect, nurture inclusion and foster workforce homogeneity?

Here is a personal view. Bad behaviour does not erupt like a volcano, without prior warning. It starts in a small way, like flirting. Then it gets serious. It must be sensed, countered, and confronted early. The more it is practiced at workplace, the less would be number of #MeToo instances.

I vaguely remember one conversation with my daughter when she was about thirteen years old… about the age, when Hima would be contemplating whether to train in the company of boys or only girls. I was taking a morning shave, when I saw my daughter appearing on mirror. Standing behind me she asked – “Daddy, can I go to school in another school bus? Or can Sabu (our family driver) uncle drop me in school?” I asked with surprise - “What happened?” She said – “Two boys are teasing me”. “Why? You don’t like to be teased by boys?” – I joked. “Daddy, you don’t understand! They are trying to touch me inappropriately!” I turned back with still half my face unshaven. “Do you want me to beat up those two boys mama?” Breaking the silence I continued – “Changing the bus would not solve the problem mama. Every likely, there would be two other boys in that other bus who would behave in a similar manner with you. Going in a private car will solve this problem, but you would only weaken yourself when you try to evade reality. You have to learn to grow in the company of boys. That is the real world out there. So, travel in the same bus. As soon as you enter the bus today, go, take a seat, look straight into their eyes and say, you are hurting me every day. It has to stop, else I will have to complain to my dad, and the school principal. Let us be good friends. Let us travel together, study together, play together, have fun together, laugh together, and cry together. If you really like me we can talk about it when we grow up, and realise what is appropriate thing to do for ourselves. But this is not the age to do what you both have been trying to do with me. This is the age to study, play, debate issues, and develop ourselves!”

My daughter smiled and left to school in the same school bus.

As a responsible, loving and caring parent I had trained her that day to shout #HeyYouToo at the right time rather than regretting #MeToo at a later time…