Hey sugar, take it slow, it'll work itself out fine.

Apart from me, who’s your favourite ginger?

Sebastian Mackay ?

Lily McNally ?

Axl Rose (he's not on LinkedIn. Not that Axl Rose anyway.)?

When I were a lad, not so very long ago, I was a massive Axl Rose fan. A massive Guns n Roses fan, specifically. I vividly remembering borrowing a VHS of their 1992 gig at Paris Hippodrome, from a mate who had Sky.

The sight of Axl strutting across the Paris Hippodrome in a pair of tiny white lycra hotpants awakened something deep within me. A love of hard rock and then heavy metal, I mean.

I can’t remember if they played it at that gig, but I’ve always loved the G’n’f’n’R song Patience. It’s a bit of a ballad but then you couldn’t be a hard rock band in the 80s or 90s without a soaring ballad. Even Pantera had This Love, which is as close to a ballad as they could manage.

“All we need is just a little patience,” croaks Axl in the song. Magnificent stuff. And, of course, a mantra that still resonates today.

In a world where the only acceptable timeframe seems to be R’f’n’Now, it would do us well to remember Axl’s wisdom.

All we need is just a little patience.

And, yes, of course, this applies to marketing too.

I’ve seen a LOT of posts recently about the evergreen disconnect between marketers and CEOs (insert other boss title as required) – most of which centres around the apparently impossible equation of time + budget = results. At least one of these variables tends to be askew, often comedically so.

Engineering CEO: “We launched some LinkedIn ads last week. When will the sales start coming in?”

Professional services CEO: “We announced our new partners last week. Why haven’t their old client signed up yet?”

And yeah, it’s not every CEO or COO or CCO or whatever. But I hear these stories often enough to realise that something is a bit whiffy, and it’s not Axl’s itty-bitty shorts.

I think the fundamental error in thinking is assuming that one’s own perspective is the most important variable. We’re ready to sell you This Thing, so it must follow that you’re going to buy it in our timeframe.

Actually, it’s a bit more nuanced than that. It’s more like this: We’re ready to sell you This Thing, and because we have gone to the trouble of marketing This Thing to you, we’d jolly well appreciate it if you bought it from us at your earliest convenience. Like, now, bucko.

To try to close this gap, there’s been an understandable move towards things like marketing qualified leads – the idea that because someone has consumed / read / engaged with some of your marketing materials, there comes a tipping point where they will inevitably buy what you’re selling.

Someone posted recently that it’s quite likely that a sizeable percentage of people visiting the Porsche website are just fantasising. I have literally done this myself. There’s a weird satisfaction in looking at a car you’ll never be able to afford but thinking about it anyway. It’s the reason FHM sold so well around the same time as Axl was strutting around a Paris stadium. Never happening, but a welcome daydream.

Even if someone is looking at your law firm’s website because they dream that one day they’ll be able to work with you, it still doesn’t mean they plan to hire you. But it’s equally likely that one of your partners has the same name as someone they know and they want to find out if it’s the same person (again, did this myself very recently). They might like the way you write about serious legal issues, but have no influence whatsoever over how their employer buys legal services. They could be thinking of a way of pitching to you themselves (again, I’ve done this many times).

Then again, maybe they are scoping you out for an RFP. But how can you tell until they actually contact you?

One recent trend that I’m starting to find irksome / bordering on offensive is the tendency for consumer businesses to try to shove you towards a purchase after you’ve been browsing.

Example: I bought a gravel bike just after Christmas because I’m prone to silly ideas followed by impulse buys. Then, of course, once the bike was delivered I realised I needed tons of new gear for all the adventures I’m going to have. I imagined the winding, isolated country roads; the joy of travelling under my own steam; and the glorious reward of arriving somewhere to rest my weary legs and savour a hard-earned coffee. Perhaps, if I forget to put enough food in my frame bag, I’ll also treat myself to some sugary calories to fuel my return leg.

But I need a frame bag, of course. And some lights, because safety and that. And I read I should get a spare inner tube since it’s a bit more straightforward than repairing a puncture. Bought some padded shorts, naturally, since no-one enjoys a fatigued undercarriage. I’ll need a pump to go in the bag too, since I can’t blow up that inner tube myself. And so on. You get the idea.

But I do have some self-control, so I’m going to wait a bit until I buy anything else. Until I’m good and ready.

And then, maybe a day later, I get an email…

“Hey Bryan. Something caught your eye?”

Another day.

“Don’t miss out Bryan – treat yourself.”

Another day, same thing again. I think it’s stopped now. It’s a bit like a dose of gastroenteritis. The first time is frustrating; the next few times you just hope it’ll stop. And now I’m a bit less inclined to buy from this place again. They’ve annoyed me.

If they’d only waited a few weeks, I’d almost certainly have gone back to them since the first experience was genuinely brilliant. I made the mistake of opening that first follow-up email so I guess I was flagged as moving through their buyer journey. In a way I suppose I was. But I ended up moving backwards.

For B2B brands, you’re (hopefully) not going to repeat this error. “Thanks for downloading our white paper, Bryan. Take the next step and invite us to pitch for your next multi-million pound contract.” Gross.

If someone HAS downloaded your white paper, it’s because they’ve taken some value from it. Or thought they might. Your first interaction with them has left a positive impression, so don’t ruin it by turning into a weirdo.

You might have heard the stat that something like 60-70% of B2B buyers have already decided who they’re going to invite to pitch by the time they’re ready to buy. By concentrating on being one of these chosen few, rather than trying to push them over a line they’re not ready to cross, you stand a much better chance of going into a buying process as a favourite.

But if you find yourself badgering your marketing team to produce worthwhile leads in an unrealistic timeframe – and you know it’s unrealistic, by the way – then remember the words of Axl Rose.

All we need is just a little patience.