Hey Meta, it’s the real me, David

It’s harder than ever to just be yourself on social media, let alone your verified self, even with over 70 million video views in the last 18 months. I tried their little blue Catch 22. Here’s how that went:

Catch-22 is one of my favourite books. It’s packed with laugh out loud satire written by Joseph Heller back in 1961, but it well describes what happened to me in 2021, trying to navigate the muddy waters of social media, simply to prove that I am me, and applies to you being you. The term catch-22 means “a problematic situation for which the only solution is denied by a circumstance inherent in the problem.” In the book when one of the main characters was falsely listed on a manifest showing deceased combat pilots, it’s assumed that he also died. He is thereafter unable to convince anyone, including his wife, that he remains very much alive.

Our current online world I found out is not much different. I initially gave up on being me (and social media in general) when Twitter verified my account under the username @funnybizzsf (pretty sad username I know. I never said I was good with social media, or of sound mind). Then a few months later I changed it to my…well, my real name, @davidnihill. Instantly that sought after blue stamp of approval disappeared and they said you can’t officially be you anymore. I appealed, they said no, sorry. It’s over. I could be me with a made up name, but not me with my actual name. As good fortune would have it I told this little bit of lunacy to a random guy and he knew someone who worked at Twitter responsible for verifications. Bingo! Just like within 24 hours I got to be me again. Maybe I can just be myself online after all? Not so fast said Heller, and the internet, Catch 22 is coming your way.?

With complete disregard for my age during lockdown I got so bored I joined Tiktok. By some act of sheer madness, my videos (karaoke and dancing free…no judgement, you do you) got over 60M views and lots of folks started replicating the content and impersonating me, racking up millions of views. Flattering but slightly creepy. To try and prevent this and at the behest of many comments asking why I wasn’t verified, I tried to get a verified account. Turns out I can’t get verified as me on Tiktok, even though they have my passport and bank account details on record, have paid me money as a creator and I have paid them money as an advertiser. Their official response: “to get verified on Tiktok you need to be verified on Instagram, Twitter is no good.” I didn’t really use Instagram and had the account set to private but I thought, well I’m pretty deep at this stage, I might as well go all publicly in on trying to be me. Bit of a strange policy for Tiktok to encourage you to use their famously addictive biggest competitor to be yourself on their product, but why look for logic in a place with none.

I started posting on Instagram, set up a public creator account and got over 10m views and 100k followers, as me. Not verified me, but still me nonetheless, at least I felt pretty me. Real me name and all I applied for verification several times. Each time I get denied being me, which means I also can’t be me on Tiktok, but I can be me on Twitter. Nobody seems to care about Twitter outside the people there screaming into the void, and Elon Musk. I haven’t even tried Facebook because that would be too Meta (sorry…I’ll see myself out) although they at least should be more accepting of a rapid name change. The official line (more or less) from Instagram’s head Adam Mosser is you need to have a couple of pieces of mainstream press coverage and published some work of interest to the public, to be you. I don’t seem to qualify even though I have published a book, a comedy special, have a talk on TED.com, multiple Google Author Talks, written for leading press sources like Inc.com and at the time of writing have 27 mainstream media press pieces about my work, including the likes of NPR, Forbes, Fast Company, Inc, Entrepreneur, The Huffington Post, The Mercury News, and the Irish Times. I was starting to feel at least a little good about the questionable decision to quit my job and chase a career around comedy, but an app firmly gave me the thumbs down. It’s taken me nine years to get all of the above. What chances for those of you just starting out trying to be you?

Sadly that little blue digital seal proving you are you, alive and well, and potentially even trustworthy carries a lot of weight in a world devoid of trust. There are a host of connectors offering it guaranteed within a month using their internal company contacts for in the region of $10k, and not the scammy type. I know people who have paid this, but this shouldn’t be the case. I write this hoping someone at Instagram might also be a fan of Joseph Heller, see the humor in administrative problems from the 1960’s and help us all become our two factor, authenticated selves in a more fair, timely and modern manner, or scrap the system altogether.?

Sadly that little blue digital seal proving you are you, alive and well, and potentially even trustworthy carries a lot of weight in a world devoid of trust.

In a time where it’s never been as important to be your true self online (and off) how can it be so hard for me to be just me, or for you to just be you. I think I’ve officially given up on trying to be verified me, and just accept being potentially other me. If I want a blue tick next to my head I’m going with a neck tattoo. It seems less painful, more hip, and less of a Catch 22.?

Have you had the same or similar challenges? Let me know in the comments or better yet tag someone who can help.

P.S. Ironically it turned out I found Instagram just as addictive as suspected when Tiktok encouraged me to use it. It’s generated more real interactions, relationships and returns than any other platform in my experience. I just wish I could be myself there :)