Hey Mentors, Mentoring is an Art; Don't Make It Commercial

We all learnt about the legendary Mahabharata story which has been imparted to us by our ancestors.

Eklavya is an excellent symbol of exemplary discipleship. He is a synonym to dutifulness and loyalty.

However, most of us haven't come across an inside story – After being killed by Krishna, Eklavya went into heaven where Lord Vishnu greeted him.

“Eklavya, how does it feel to become a new synonym to Devotion?”, Vishnu asked him,

“It feels good, I have restored the faith of people in a teacher-student relationship”,

“Didn’t you hesitate even once before cutting your thumb?”,

“No Lord Vishnu, when my MENTOR had asked for it, how could I hesitate?”

“MENTOR? what is it?”,

“Lord Vishnu, MENTOR isn’t just a position, it is a satisfaction and a belief, that whatever may be the outcome, the advice will always be decisive for achieving success”,

Lord Vishnu was puzzled and astonished. He couldn't grasp it.

Eklavya was born in a hunter’s family. He would go to the forests with his father and watch the deer being hunted by leopards. He wanted to learn archery to save the deers.

He went to Dronacharya who was a master of advanced military arts –

“Sir, Greetings, I’ll be grateful if you can teach me archery”,

“I am the teacher of the Royal Family. Son, it is prohibited to make anyone else as powerful as the prince of the Region”, Dronacharya denied his request.

Eklavya became sad, but soon he realised something and went away. He went home, created an idol of Dronacharya, considered him as a guru and began practising archery.

Gradually, over the years, he gained mastery over it and became more skilful than any of the princes.

Arjun, the prince of the region heard about this skilful archer and his mastery. Arjun searched Eklavya in the forest and enquired –

“Who taught you archery?”

“Dronacharya”, Eklavya replied.

Arjun fumed in anger and complained to Dronacharya. He alleged him of cheating the royal family and making somebody else a master of this art.

Dronacharya was baffled and he, along with Arjuna decided to meet Eklavya and interrogate him about this.

Eklavya welcomed both the prince and the Guru and escorted them to the statue of Dronacharya. Dronacharya was astonished to see his dedication.

He knew that Eklavya was outstanding and could well be a danger to the prince. Hence he asked for his right thumb as Guru Dakshina, since he knew he wouldn't be able to perform archery then. Eklavya, without a second thought, cut his right thumb to give it to Guru.    

Most people assume that Dronacharya was partial, cruel and biased. That Dronacharya just loved Arjuna and had no love for Eklavya. However, it isn’t correct. What Dronacharya did is a perfect example of mentorship. He asked him to do something that may not look right initially, but Eklavya is remembered because of that incident only.

If Dronacharya had never asked for a thumb from Eklavya and Eklavya had never given it, he wouldn’t have been a synonym to dedication and devotion. Whenever we talk about commitment, Eklavya is remembered, not Arjuna.

Eklavya had always considered Dronacharya as a mentor, hence he didn’t give a second thought to provide him with right thumb.

Dronacharya was a guru to Arjuna, but he was a mentor to Eklavya.

ANOTHER STORY

Aashika was disappointed because she had floated her CV in several companies, only to receive a negative or mute response from everywhere.

"Never realised, it could be so frustrating", she murmured.

She had heard a lot about professional networking and Linkedin, and its vital importance in job hunting.

Logging in to LinkedIn, she began searching for the connections with the title “Mentor”. More than 50 connections appeared. She excitedly sent a personalised connection request to a prospective mentor. He claimed to have mentord more than 2000 job seekers till then.

“Good Morning Sir, Greetings for the day. To brief about myself, I have recently cleared my exams and now looking for an entry-level job in the industry. I have been searching job but haven't received any positive response. I am writing to ask if you can please spend some precious moments to guide me and provide me with valuable inputs which can lend me a decent job.”

(Message Seen)

5 days passed but the ‘Mentor’ was too busy to reply. He was continuously updating posts, liking, commenting on various other posts, but didn’t respond to Aashika. It was even more frustrating, so she decided to approach the next set of mentors. She sent personalised messages to them also and again anxiously awaited for the reply.

All of them saw the messages, but none of them cared to reply her. She was very tensed now, and her irritation level was sky high.

Finally, she received a message from one of those ‘mentors’ which read –

“Hi, I run a professional resume writing organisation. I’ll write the CV for you through which you might get a call for an interview. Charges are Rs. 2,100/- only. Will wait for your reply.”

This message fumed her anger – a self-proclaimed mentor was looking to convert Aashika’s job hunting worry into a business lead of his own. Her expectations diminished from the professional network.

Meanwhile, she kept commenting on various posts on LinkedIn and updating her status seeking job leads or professional advice.

One day, when she was watching TV, a notification popped on her mobile, “1 new LinkedIn conversation with Mr. XXX”.

She opened her mobile, and read the message –

“Hi Aashika, I saw your status and comments on few posts. It seems that you are approaching the HR Managers in a little unprofessional way. Also, your LinkedIn profile isn’t very informative which makes it difficult for a profile viewer to understand your education and expertise. You can call me on +91-8281XXXX39 today in the second half, and we can discuss it. Regards, Apoorv”

Aashika instantly viewed his profile to see his experience, education, professional summary and skill-set. Amazed and confused, she decided to give him a call.

“Hey, Am I speaking with Apoorv Sir?”,

“Yeah, who’s this?”,

“Aashika this side sir, we had conversed through LinkedIn earlier today”,

“Yeah hi Aashika, please don’t call me Sir, just call me Apoorv”,

In the next 45 minutes or so, Apoorv discussed various points with Aashika that either she wasn’t at all aware about, or even if she knew some of those points, she was doing them wrong. From approaching an HR manager on LinkedIn to e-mailing the CV, sending the cover letter, and follow-up protocol etc. Apoorv guided Aashika about everything.

Aashika was happy after talking with Apoorv since she had finally found an able mentor in him.

Meanwhile, profile title of Apoorv said – “Senior Analyst, Tax Operations, PwC”!

Apoorv wasn’t a mentor, had an experience of about 5 years only, his skill set was related to technical background, and that’s what amazed and confused Aashika. That day she understood a critical concept –

Mentor is every person who is willing to help, without even related skill set, or education or experience.   

Coaching is Profession; Mentoring is an Art

Generally, the coaches or self-proclaimed mentors fail to understand a simple concept – coaching and mentoring are not synonyms and can’t be used interchangeably. Yes, they are the disciples of the same school called “Advising and Inspiring”, but that doesn’t mean they are the same thing.

Someone can't consider himself as a mentor – learners or advice gainers make them "mentor".

A mentor is always a mentee first.

It is essential to understand that a mentor is always a mentee first – he learns from others (playing the mentee role) and teaching others (being the mentor) throughout the career.

A mentor goes on to make a relation first.

We come across several advisors or guides in our day-to-day life, but none of them possesses that capability to influence our decisions or guide our career. Mentor always puts a relationship before mentorship.

Mentor creates curiosity

Advisors are interested in quenching the thrust; mentors push more. A good mentor is always curious about mentee and knows all weird things and qualities that his mentee has.  

I am not criticising the MENTORS or run advising institutions to earn money, but if you have taken this colossal task of guiding somebody, pour your heart out, even if you have to charge a certain amount. Please don’t kill the expectations of aspirants by either not replying them or replying them rudely that can shatter their confidence. MENTORS are meant to speak harsh but the truth – Don’t praise un-necessarily, but don’t over-criticise too!