Hey Kindness, are you still with us?

The Dopamine Effect of Random Acts of Kindness

This weekend I experienced a small uplifting moment that to me demonstrates the dopamine effect of random acts of kindness. While waiting for a train on Saturday, it was such a frosty morning, so I decided to get myself a hot drink. As I stood in line, I caught the eye of a man walking down the steps to the platform. He looked just as cold as I felt.

I rolled the thought around in my head for a while and then what felt like a spur-of-the-moment decision, when the guy serving in the shop asked if I wanted anything else, I said, “Yes, another cup of tea.” something inside me nudged me to do it. I took both drinks and the little biscuits that came with them and left the shop.

Approaching the man on the platform, I asked if he wanted a cup of tea. He looked surprised but nodded his head. “Do you drink tea? Do you take sugar?” I asked. He smiled and said, “Why did you buy me tea?” I replied, “Why not? It’s cold, I wanted a drink, and you look like you might like one too.”

His name was Femi, and he was from North London, visiting a friend. That was the extent of our conversation. As the train approached, we exchanged “have a good day” wishes. He followed me into the carriage and thanked me again for the tea before heading off. I hope he enjoyed his drink and biscuit; he seemed to.

This may seem like a strange thing to do, or maybe not and actually, thinking about it, this wasn’t about Femi; it was about me. I wanted to do something nice for someone—a random act of kindness with no judgment and no strings attached. And it made me feel good. I am giving credit to Dopamine, the “feel-good” neurotransmitter in our brains. Engaging in kind acts triggers this release, creating a positive feedback loop that encourages us to continue being kind.

Random acts of kindness have a ripple effect. They not only uplift the recipient but also enhance the well-being of the giver. It’s a beautiful cycle of positivity and connection. I am prone to striking up conversation with strangers and for a few moments having this sense of connection, even if some may call it superficial-it's still connecting with others, isn't it?

Recently, after a day that was less than positive, I found myself talking to a person in the supermarket by the cheese section. She asked me something, I’m not even sure what now, but we spent a fair few minutes in a cheese-related conversation (she recommended Ossau Iraty (yep, she was right!), and I recommended Manchego) our discussion progressed to fruit and chutney, the weather, Christmas, and then we wished each other well and went on our way smiling.

Many people are looking to connect, even in small ways. A simple conversation, a shared smile, or a kind word can have a profound impact on someone’s day. These moments remind us that we are all part of a larger community, and that kindness is a powerful force for good.

Clenton Farquharson and I have been talking about social care a lot—when are we not talking about it? And when we do, we regularly say the word kindness. I joined a conversation between Clenton and Richard Smith, it was such a great discussion about “humanity” and "care" in social care.

When Clenton talks about social care, he always talks about love and joy. I have to admit, when I’m talking with people working in social care and in healthcare settings—in all roles—I don’t often hear the words Kindness, Love, Joy. Ironically, sometimes these types of discussions are called "brave" conversations. Lets have a brave conversation about kindness in social care and health??? Go figure........

Sometimes I do hear it, and I love when I hear it. I feel hopeful. But often I don’t as a matter of course in our everyday conversations or language and I wonder, what has happened to kindness?

What has happened to kindness and love in caring professions? Has it been smothered by austerity, finance, budgets, panels? I think it is still there; I see it and hear it sometimes.

But I often don’t hear words such as love, hope, joy, repeated as business-as-usual by people who work in social care. Has kindness been smothered by austerity, finance, budgets, panels?

I think it is still there; I see it sometimes, I hear it sometimes, I hope it is there, if only in the margins trying to break through.

If you are reading this and you do hear it in everyday conversations, please let me know, tell me my assumption isnt right, please do comment in the chat.

When we do something simply to be kind, or when we listen, hear, and advocate for people simply because it’s the right thing to do, doesn't it feel good?

Leaders all leaders, not only in social care & health, need to be considerate and model compassion. We need kindness and understanding more now than ever. So, if we are reimagining social care, can we afford to have kindness, love, hope, and people equally at the heart of all discussions, sitting alongside finance? Can we afford not to?

So, the next time you have an opportunity to perform a random act of kindness, seize it. Whether it’s buying a stranger a cup of tea, chatting with someone in the supermarket, or time to listen, or offering a helping hand, know that these small gestures can make a significant difference. They not only brighten someone else’s day but also contribute to your own happiness and sense of connection and i am all for that! Together, let’s create a world where kindness is the cornerstone of our interactions.

This week, month, year, I hope you find joy in your own acts of kindness and feel the dopamine, the positive effects.

Tricia Pereira (an advocate for kindness)