“Hey, How Are You? I Am Absolutely (Not) Good.”

Do you regularly feel the urge of waiting to go home and take a nap even though you’re not sleepy at work? Depression is not a general melancholy which most of the people suffers now and then but a complicated mind/body ailment that hinders regular working. You tend to lose hope and look for solitude. You observe everyone around you as hushed cartoons you don’t care about. It’s like going down, except people near you are rising above.

Outside, everything seems to be ordinary. Inside, there is a dire disturbance. At times you may have the irresistible want to stand in the middle of the road and shriek at the peak of your voice, without any specific purpose.

One of the things about depression is that it misleads you. It tells that you are a weirdo; that nobody will figure out; that you are the only one in the world thinking what you are thinking. Hence, not only are you laying paralyzed on the bed, unable to get up and find a way out, yet you also feel a strong sense of regret for being depressed.

Depression is considered to be the second leading cause of disability worldwide. Usual symptoms include anhedonia – an inability to feel pleasure – and an indisputable sense of guilt, at times, resulting in self-injury and in worst cases, suicide. Depression is poorly perceived, often wrongly linked to some kind of mental fragility or moral weakness. Or a sign of failure, as news channels like Aaj Tak would want you to digest.  

Clinical depression requires medical attention. However, whether you are going to consult a psychiatrist for depression depends on where you live. Take India, for instance. According to a WHO report, India shelters approximately 57 million people (18% of the worldwide estimate) going through depression. And the suicide rate exceeds 21.1 per 1, 00,000 people, yet less than half ever get the proper treatment.

Even the government does not perceive it as a ‘real’ ailment, which is apparent from the fact that below 0.05% of India’s tiny healthcare budget is channelized towards the treatment of mental health problems.

Invest in Your Well-being – Mind, Body, and Spirit

There are no immediate solutions to help people get rid of depression as it is different for everyone. Yet, you could follow some strategies that can prove effective for you:

• Unplug. Reduce your screen time to avoid distressing news reports. Stick to healthy non-digital activities such as reading a book, going out for a walk, and penning down thoughts.
• Accept your challenge and confront it. Take baby steps to regain strength and calmness. Invest in positive self-talk and proactive actions such as making your bed, housekeeping your room, and preparing healthy meals.
• Surround yourselves with family and friends who are positive and will certainly support you.

What We People Should be Doing, Now

If you know someone who is suffering from depression, you might get confused as to how to help that person. You want to reach and extend a helping hand, yet you do not intend to offend them or hurt their emotions if you say anything wrong unintentionally. One of the worst things you could do is ignore their sufferings and act like everything is normal. Things are not normal and their depression impacts everybody around them, including you.

Be patient. Do try your best to put yourselves in his/her shoes. Accept the fact that your dear one may feel lonely, scared, vulnerable, hopeless, and completely overwhelmed. Petty things may be annoying or disturbing the person. Surviving every hour may seem like a huge achievement.

Interact directly. Make it clear-cut that you want to help the person and ask what you could do to help. Your dear one might be hesitant to open up for fear of imposing on you or burdening you. By volunteering, you help ward off that fear.

Be all ears without being judgemental. Often, just feeling heard can be really helpful to somebody who is going through depression. Discussing and just crowding the feelings out can be really helpful. Do not draw conclusions or give any advice unless the person asks, and in case he/she does not, do not be afraid to ask if he/she would like to hear your opinions in regards to whatever was just revealed.

Drive him/her for professional assistance. If your dear one resists, remind him/her gently that if he/she had diabetes or cancer, he/she would consult a healthcare professional immediately. Depression is no exception. If the person requires help - seeking a therapist or getting an appointment, reach out to help him in all the ways possible.

Do not turn a blind eye to any suicide threats or any sign or behavior that suggests your dear one is thinking of it. If you think the person is at risk of self-harm, call his/her therapist. Keep any weapon or other potentially lethal objects out of that person’s reach.

And What We Keep Doing, Sadly

“A famous personality perishes and people unleash their expertise on depression. This is the issue with social media. Let the experts do the honors.”

All of a sudden, everyone is turning into a psychologist – “If you feel left out, please reach out to us.”

Keep it in mind, a depressed person will never express that he is depressed. He will keep away from speaking out for the fear of being judged. He will not confess – “I am depressed and having suicidal thoughts, please help me.” In fact, he will try to avoid you.

Just look out for the symptoms and help him in seeking professional aid. All he needs is love and assurance, not unwanted lectures. This might sound rude, but that is the reality.

All things considered, depression is a nightmare and needs kindness and support. Nevertheless, we live in a world where such things are easier to say than to perform. It’s just too depressing.