”Hey, got a minute?”
Stephan Vincent
Human Rebellion Founder | Disrupting Traditional Workplace Culture | Helping Leaders Build Empowering, Human-Centered Organizations.
Salut les amis,
Imagine it’s a Friday, 4:30pm, you’re getting ready to log off for the weekend. ??
Your boss slacks you “hey, got a minute?” ??
“WTF!”, your heartbeat goes from 80 to 140, you’re starting to sweat. ??
This is probably the worst question a boss can ask.
A friend of mine lost his dad a few years ago, on a Wednesday evening. The company he worked for had a 3-day bereavement policy for losing a direct family member (on a side note, it baffles me how an employer – or the government – can quantify a reasonable number of days to grieve over a relative’s death, but it’s another story). The funeral was on the Saturday. On Sunday, he got a text message from his boss to confirm he’d be back in the office on Monday. The text exchange went something like this:
I can’t remember the exact words – he showed me the messages a while back– but it’s pretty close to reality. Yes, some bosses are totally deprived of any empathy and compassion! ??
So, I’ve asked some “potes” (French casual for buddies) what a genuinely good leader should ask their team members to express empathy, to inspire, or to help them be at their best.
"What am I doing well? What’s working?" ?
"What’s one thing I could do differently that would be meaningful or helpful to you?" ??
I ask my direct reports in every 1x1 or check-in conversation, "What can I do to support you that I am not yet doing, or how can I support you differently?" ???
Sometimes I avoid using the word "feedback." I work in an industry where "feedback" is almost always associated with something negative. I will ask something like, "Can I share some insights into your project/performance/sales strategy/etc. with you?" ??
Asking if people are in a place to receive feedback. Sometimes people are not in the right headspace due to what is going on personally or that day, and this provides an opportunity for them to say not right now and then following up with when and opens the door to asking more questions:
"What can I do for you?"
"Any struggles you are having that you want to share so I know and am aware and support you." ??
"What is it that you need today or this week to be able to perform at your best and find joy in your work?" ??
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Some questions that leaders can ask to help create psychological safety:
"What support do you need from me?"
"What's one thing we could change that would make a big difference for you?"
"Is there anything about our team dynamics that concerns you?"
"What aspects of your personal life or identity do you feel are important for me to understand?"
"If you could change one thing about how we work, what would it be?" ???
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"What is something that breaks down trust and feeling of security for you?"
"What is an experience you had with your past leader(s) that was positive for you or negative that I can learn from?" ??
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Here are two great questions leaders should be asking their teams on a regular basis for good mental health. ??
"What’s top of mind for you today?" ?? It helps to map out what’s really important to get done and gives the leader a chance to offer the right kind of help.
"How are things at home?" ?? This helps create a culture of trust. That you matter more than just being a worker bee. Concern for your family is always helpful in managing stress at work and at home.
What are YOUR favorite question(s) you ask your team members? ??
Personally, my go-to-question every day is “how are you feeling today?” It provides a safe space for team members to tell as much or as little they want to share with me, and it shows I’m here for them.???
To conclude for today, I’d like to share some French words of wisdom (translation included). ??
"L'empathie est le superpouvoir des leaders : sans elle, ils sont simplement des patrons." Translation: "Empathy is the superpower of leaders: without it, they are merely bosses."
"Un leader sans empathie, c'est comme un chef d'orchestre sans oreille: il fait du bruit, mais il ne crée pas de musique." Translation: "A leader without empathy is like a conductor without an ear: he makes noise, but he doesn't create music."
PS: I’d like to gauge your interest in joining the Human Rebellion online community (the HUG) where leaders from all areas of the business to share and find innovative ways to build empowered, high-performing teams, break down the silos and the idea that culture and people centric initiatives should be the sole prerogative of HR.?If interested, you can sign up here. ???
Our mission at the Human Rebellion
At the Human Rebellion think tank, we’re all about changing the workplace culture game. Our mission is to:
?? prioritize humanness: recognize and value each employee as a unique individual
?? promote wellbeing: create supportive environments for physical, mental, and emotional health
?? foster collaboration: encourage teamwork and open communication to drive innovation
?? build trust: establish honesty and transparency at all levels
?? empower employees: give people the tools, resources, and autonomy they need to thrive.
Let’s keep working together to make our workplaces places where everyone feels seen, heard, and valued. Here’s to breaking the silence and kicking toxic vibes to the curb!
Join the Human Rebellion and let's create workplaces that are more than just places to earn a living—they’re communities where we can all flourish.
Stay tuned for more insights and stories from the frontlines of culture transformation.
Until next time,
Stephan
Consultant - RES REI Internal Public Relations and Communications
4 个月A method brings more money than a value, but it is a value that can get more of financial benefits. Yet, the personalities that apply methods earn the most money and those that can bring the value are often not seen as a business asset. On top of that following Bertrand Russel's quote about the reasons for troubles in this world, I would repeat after him that the wise have too many doubts unfortunately and the smart takes over everywhere.
Leadership Coach | Retention Expert | Creator of Leadership Advance: The Un-Retreat for People-Centered Leaders | Retain top talent & attract the best | Passionate about work-life balance & making every game count!
4 个月Loved this, Stephan Vincent! It reminds me of a quote by Indian billionaire and chairman of the Mahindra Group, Anand Mahindra: "If you aren't humble, whatever empathy you claim is false and probably results from some arrogance or the desire to control. But true empathy is rooted in humility and the understanding that there are many people with as much to contribute in life as you."
CEO Boss Lady Consulting providing Brand | Marketing | CX for SMB, nonprofits and healthcare. We help small and solo teams increase their impact, grow their revenue and better tell their story.
4 个月"Empathy is the superpower of leaders: without it, they are merely bosses." "A leader without empathy is like a conductor without an ear: he makes noise, but he doesn't create music." Are these quote sharable? Should there be a reference? Great article.