Hey Donald Trump, Try “Winning Friends and Influencing People” Instead

Donald Trump verbally beating up Malcolm Turnbull, Australia’s Prime Minister was major news. The tastier parts of that conversation were leaked from the American side, but the style and language reported seems to be in keeping with Donald Trump’s style, so they are probably true. Did he have to beat Malcolm up? Could he have dealt with his concerns over the people swap in a different way? 

In simplistic terms, Obama and Turnbull agreed to swap people being held in detention centers. America takes around 1200 people currently based on Nauru, who mainly come from Iran and Iraq and Australia would take around 300 originating from various South American countries. 

The issue is highly contentious in Australia, because these people turned up by boat without any prior processing and there is a dispute as to whether they are “illegals” or “refugees”. Australia does take refugees, but prefers them to be processed off-shore and then brought to Australia. These “boat people” just turned up, after paying money to “snakeheads” and risking their lives in leaky boats to get to Australia. Many drowned at sea and didn’t make it.

Regardless of the rights and wrongs of how to categorise these people, the issue here is Trump doesn’t want to honour the agreement between Obama and Turnbull. His choice to berate Turnbull over the phone is a poor one. Dale Carnegie came up with 30 Human Relations Principles and Trump would do much better, if he followed them. As Dale Carnegie noted, you get more cooperation with honey than vinegar.

Principle number one is “don’t criticise, condemn or complain”. The thinking behind this principle is to take into account human psychology.  When Trump criticises Turnbull, he generates ill will and destroys the relationship. The trust is broken, the willingness to cooperate is diminished. You may get compliance in this case, because the US is much bigger than Australia, but the hearts and minds are lost.  Going the extra mile for America has been the hallmark of the Australian relationship for the last 75 years.

Australia has spent blood and treasure for every postwar military conflict that American has been involved in. This is “real” unasked for loyalty, so why diminish that through resorting to harsh criticism? Every other ally is watching this closely and wondering if they are next?

Trump could have used principle number 30, “make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest” and principle number 25, “ask questions instead of giving direct orders”. He could have used principle number 28, “give the person a fine reputation to live up to”.

Trump could have said, “Look Malcolm, I know you are a smart guy. You didn’t get a million from Daddy to start in business like I did and yet you have become very wealthy and successful, all off your own hard efforts. I need your smarts. I have a problem here. I have just announced we are not going to take any people from Iran and Iraq and five other countries for a few months and yet most of these people on Nauru are from those very same countries. If I take them, I will lose face. Help me out here, you are a clever guy, what can I do?”. 

I am sure Malcolm Turnbull would of his own volition come up with some workable ideas. He is a smart guy, he is a self-made man, he is very rich and successful. As a lawyer, he did gain world fame through his defeat of the British Government’s case in the “Spy Catcher Trial”. 

Being the sponsor of the ideas, he would drive them through the Australian domestic political process and fix the problem to Trump’s satisfaction. The processing might quietly slow down to taper with the period of the ban. Or the whole process might be delayed until the ban has been lifted. Or, miraculously, only non-Muslims get through the vetting process and proceed to the US. There are a number of solutions here to solve Trump’s issues. These could have been reached with positive cooperation, through using the Dale Carnegie Human Relations Principles.

Instead, the world sees the bully Trump picking on little Aussie.  Especially little Aussie who has been like an obedient lapdog for any and all American global military interests. 

Australians have never forgotten that after the fall of Singapore in World War Two, only the assistance of the American military stopped Australians from becoming totally fluent speakers of Japanese, by being absorbed into Nippon’s “Greater East Asia Co-Prosperity Sphere”. Shortly thereafter, Australians fought together with America right through the Korean War. 

In 1966 Australian Prime Minister Holt announced we were “All the way with LBJ”, and introduced conscription to really expand Australian troop numbers in Vietnam. Those jungle battles fought together were a long time ago, but the loyalty is still there.

Our military have been fighting together with American troops in Afghanistan, Gulf Wars 1 and 2 and against ISIS in Iraq and Syria. This is not empty slogans, this is blood on the sand loyalty.

Or it was until Trump’s phone call with Turnbull.

So, if you are running a business or are running a team and you look at Trump and say, “well obviously bullying people is the way to get things done”, think again. 

Trump’s methods won’t create the loyalty that America will need and in your world, you won’t get the staff engagement and loyalty you want either. Dale Carnegie published “How To Win Friends And Influence People” in 1936. The information is out there. Dale Carnegie’s trainng is still going 105 years later, so it obviously works and it works in over 100 countries around the world.

Hello to Donald and business leaders around the world - read “How To Win Friends And Influence People”. The long-term solutions to your people issues are all laid out for you in that book.

Engaged employees are self-motivated. The self-motivated are inspired. Inspired staff grow your business but are you inspiring them? We teach leaders and organisations how to inspire their people. Want to know how we do that? Contact me at [email protected]

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About The Author

Dr. Greg Story: President, Dale Carnegie Training Japan

In the course of his career Dr. Greg Story has moved from the academic world, to consulting, investments, trade representation, international diplomacy, retail banking and people development. Growing up in Brisbane, Australia he never imagined he would have a Ph.D. in Japanese decision-making and become a 30 year veteran of Japan.

A committed lifelong learner, through his published articles in the American, British and European Chamber journals, his videos and podcast “THE Leadership Japan Series”, he is a thought leader in the four critical areas for business people: leadership, communication, sales and presentations. Dr. Story is a popular keynote speaker, executive coach and trainer.

Since 1971, he has been a disciple of traditional Shitoryu Karate and is currently a 6th Dan. Bunbu Ryodo (文武両道-both pen & sword) is his mantra and he applies martial art philosophies and strategies to business.