Hey Buddy, Can You Spare The Change You Want To See?

Are you like my friend Jay? He loves to watch the news. Then he bitches a lot and gets depressed about the future of mankind. Big surprise, right? The news outlets depress the pants off you. Well, um, you know what I mean… As negativity and divisiveness are unleashed in the world, the news is there to push them right up into your face. For god’s sake, Jay (and anyone else who needs to hear it), stop rebroadcasting all that negative energy!

Instead of being a force for divisiveness, Jay, do us all a favor and help move the energy in a better direction - become a force for good in the world. Here’s what’s so truly cool for Jay and the rest of us, too - every one of us already has the tools to become a force for good.

The Dalai Lama has actually laid out a strategic map for just such an assignment. There are three steps: First, gain inner composure. Second, follow an inner rudder toward compassion. Third, take action now in whatever way we can. So thank you, Your Holiness. But if you know me, you know I’m ‘bout to make it all about the hospitality industry:

1. First, compose yourself. It provides inner calm and clarity. This simple act of being composed and mindful strengthens concentration and lessens distraction. It gives us focus. And it calms the knee-jerk reactions we regret later. (Yeah, like passive-aggressive texts at 2am.) So composure and mindfulness give us the foundation of mental strength.

A quick composure story: One hellish night in the restaurant, I was totally overwhelmed with high maintenance orders that consumed my energy, time and concentration. It was the kind of night where one could easily get thrown off one’s game and into the weeds. And I needed a weed whacker desperately! Then I noticed Corey, another waiter. He was just as busy but when he stopped to talk with his guests, he adopted a very self-assured posture. His feet were planted shoulder-width apart and he stood confidently. It seemed to compose him and at the same time gave the signal to his guests that they were in good hands and everything was under control. Corey had attained composure and at least the appearance of inner calm. You bet I copied that stuff straight away.

2. The second step is to harness compassion by increasing your concern for others’ well-being. Engage life with compassion as a guide to your actions.

Okay, this isn’t a restaurant story - it happened in a Wal-Mart in Evans, GA. An elderly customer passed out and fell onto the floor. She regained consciousness but was too weak to stand. With the ambulance on the way, store employee Jason appeared with one mission: to provide comfort. No questions asked, he got down on the floor with her so she could lean against him, stay supported and be comfortable. He wasn’t asked to do it, he wanted to. That's an innate desire to show compassion to your fellow humans and you can bet the ensuing viral Facebook post helped spread some much-appreciated positive energy.

3. From your calm and caring stance, the Dalai Lama says take action now. We all have opportunities if we make a point of looking for them:

I once waited on a family with three rambunctious little kids. The parents, although outnumbered, were good-natured and took the madness in stride even as the kids flopped in the booth and grabbed fists full of Dad’s hair. I offered to serve the kid’s meals first, an idea which the parents green-lighted immediately. My manager, Bill, saw an opportunity and made a genius suggestion. “When the parents’ meals arrive, why don’t you offer to take the kids outside to feed the ducks so Mom and Dad can have a few minutes of peace?” I was all “WHOA! That’ll make me a hero!!” And of course it did. Yes, they left me a huge, fat tip. And even better, I was able to act on an opportunity to be a force for good.

Do you believe one good deed can create many more? They say "Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle is not shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared." I, for one, stand with the Dalai Lama in recognizing positive energy as critical for our future. We all have tools that can help move energy in a better direction. Each one of us has influence; we may even have special skills. If you look to use your tools, influence and skills, and combine them with composure, compassion and action, you’ve got a winning formula for being the change you want to see in the world. Oh, and stop watching the news.*

*Resource: How To Be A Force For Good by Daniel Goleman, Lion’s Roar Aug 2017

Hi! I'm Leslie Kalk, Restaurant Strategy Planner, with ONE MISSION - to improve the lives of bleary-eyed restaurant operators by helping you Make Your Restaurant A Cash Machine. My objective is world domination through service to others. I'm also a rabid football fan, a karaoke diva and a fiend for an exquisite cup of coffee. Find me on Facebook, LinkedIn or email me at [email protected]