Hesitation

Hesitation

I was in a meeting with the VP and a colleague, Mr. X. The VP asked X "So, were you and Y able to resolve the issues you had after I intervened earlier last week and asked you both to talk it through?"..... X hesitated for full seven seconds before replying, with eyes not looking directly at the VP, "Yes, we did."..... Now, that hesitation completely negated what X actually said. Which indeed happened to be the case.

The impact of that hesitation on the VP was immediate. She raised her eyebrows, looked at me sideways and moved away from that topic. Obviously she would have preferred a better response, a more honest response,

X could have replied, "Y and I are still working on resolving our issues, we are making progress." He was uncomfortable at saying "No" and hence giving that "Yes" with a hesitation.

I read somewhere that hesitation and the fear of being judged kill more relationships than misunderstandings and arguments.

Just as we should watch out for linguistic viruses in our speech ("You did great, but..."; "This meal is delicious, however..."; etc.) we should also be mindful about our body language and also about the impact of hesitation - no 'but's about it!

Honest feedback can appear to be undercut by hesitation. Good judgement is always required- being honest with onself and with others is generally a safe choice.

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