He's going to be an adult someday, so he may as well learn it now.

This is a concerning belief in the mind of many parents raising a child with neurodivergence (ND).

It demonstrates a fundamental misunderstanding about how our kids learn.

Believing a consequence needs to be harsh and effective the first time is punishment logic, NOT problem-solving.

It's important to teach our kids how to make better decisions, not simply how to feel bad for the decisions they've made.

We have an epidemic of shame and guilt in this world, and it stems from beliefs like this. Shame and guilt primarily lead to changed behavior to avoid feeling more shame and guilt.

Is this what you want for your child?

Yes, our kids are going to be adults someday. That doesn't mean they're going to be adults tomorrow, and today's consequence better prepare them for being so.

It's the parents' own all-or-nothing thinking that believes a child needs to learn the lesson NOW, instead of as a process.

I live with an ND mind and am raising several children with ND. Our brains have difficulty processing, retaining, and retrieving what we know.

Inconsistently applying what we know is the result of this glitchy web browser in our brains. It isn't about defiance, disrespect, or anything else you tell yourself to convince you it's intentional.

Do you honestly believe your child lives to bring down as much pain upon themselves as possible?

Our kids learn best by learning to think through the situation you want them to become better at problem-solving.

Not by lecturing and telling them what to do; that will not work. They need to be guided in solving the problem, doing the thinking themselves.

Let's work together on this, you and I, so you learn the communication strategies to empower you and your child to break the cycle of blame and shame.

It is imperative for parents to understand the unique learning processes of neurodivergent children. Rather than relying on punitive measures, it is essential to foster an environment that encourages problem-solving and critical thinking.?

By doing so, we can help these children develop the skills they need to thrive as adults, without the burden of shame or guilt.

Message me so we can get to work on this.