The Hero's Journey in Paris: What Story Are You Living?

Living the Stories in Everyday Life: Stages and Situations

When we are living a particular story, we tend to see the world from its vantage point. What we notice in the world and what actions we think make sense grow naturally from that story. For example when someone who is living a Warrior story is having a difficult time with another person she may react in a strong and challenging way, defending her own position. If this person were living a Caregiver story, however, she might instead show concern for what was causing the other person to be difficult, seeking to understand and reassure. When we develop narrative intelligence, we are able to see why we react the way we do and understand the different assumptions and behaviors of others.

There are a host of characters and situations from which these stories are drawn. Such characters have come to be known as archetypes, and they define basic stories, although for each person the details will be unique. These archetypes can be looked at as guides that help us know when we are on our best path and taking the most appropriate action. Your results from the Hero’s Journey questionnaire help you identify these characters as a way to make sense out of the stories you are living, which allows you to create a richer and more satisfying life.

Many people recognize over time that there is one story that provides the central meaning and purpose of their lives. In addition, other stories are lived out at different times and places. If you think about it, you may notice that different stages of life have offered you new situations, new scenery, new people to be with, even the unfolding of a new storyline. You can see such situations as a stage set, with costumes and supporting characters that seem to pull you into a story line (the plot to be lived out). Such settings have immense power.

Certain life stages typically place us in situations that invite us into specific narratives. For example: if you had a very happy childhood, you likely lived the story of the Dreamer (Innocence). Others were caring for you, and you simply had to trust their wisdom, experiment, and learn what to do to succeed. Living this story provided you with a baseline sense of trust and optimism about life. Living this story provided you with a baseline sense of trust and optimism about life. If, on the other hand, your childhood was difficult you may have lived an Orphan story. This does not mean that you were literally orphaned (although it could). Rather it means that the adults in your life were too distracted, unskilled or wounded to care for you properly (physically, emotionally or intellectually). In this case, you may have experienced a story that had as theme the challenge of coping in a situation of minor or major deprivation or wounding. Likely this would provide a baseline approach to life that was more cautious and realistic, even pessimistic. Or you might have lived both stories – either sequentially (if your life situation changed) or the same time (if your experience with the caregivers in your life was mixed).

As you grew older; you may have become less dependent upon your parents and other authority figures, wanting to explore your own identity and the world outside. You might even have become somewhat oppositional, especially in your adolescent years. You might think of this as living an Explorer story; which exemplifies the gifts of independence and identiy. At roughly this same time in life, you may have become interested in romance; and so you began living out a Lovers’ story; developing the gifts of intimacy and sensuality. This may have led to marriage and children in which case you suddenly needed to live the story of the Caregiver, demonstrating the ability to nurture and even sacrifice for others.

The list of stories we may live at different stages of our lives can go on and on. The major point here is that success in life is often determined by how well we live out these stories, for it is in the living thtat we develop in mature, responsible, moral and successful adults.

So many people today talk about the need for character – in public officials, in the heads of corporations, and in the young. However character cannot be formed by simply enjoining people to act appropiately. We all know from making New Year’s resolutions that simply deciding to do or not do something is not enough to guarantee success. Becoming good, moral and successful requires knowledge of how to develop the inner qualities that make it easy to do so. Every life situation carries within it a call to live a story that offers experiences that can make us great – or, conversely, bring out what is petty, small or harmful within us. It is much easier to avoid the slippery slope of life’s negative temptations and traps when we can recognize the positive potential within situations.

The stories identified in this seminar link everyday life twith the great, mythic stories that inform what it means to be human. Many people, however, sleepwalk through stories that emerge naturally in certain life stages and life situations and consequently they lack a sense of meaning and purpose in their lives. At worst, living in this unconscious way decreases their ability to gain the gifts associated from living the great stories; leaves them feeling alone with their problems, and decreases their ability to become the kind of mature and wise people capable of making a positive difference to their families, friends, community and field of work. When people lack the ability to know what story they are living, they may fail to develop the qualities required to take adult responsibility for the state of their families, communities and the larger world.

When we recognize that we are living a unique personal story, as well as one of the universal great narratives , our lives can be filled with meaning, purpose and dignity. At the same time, we feel less lonely because we can see that we share commonality with all the people in all times and places, who have lived through the challenges of that story.