Heroin Addicted John, Coming out of the Closet, The Human Connection

"A man's sexual choice is the result and the sum of his fundamental convictions... He will always be attracted to the woman who reflects his deepest vision of himself, the woman whose surrender permits him to experience a sense of self-esteem. The man who is proudly certain of his own value, will want the highest type of woman he can find, the woman he admires, the strongest, the hardest to conquer--because only the possession of a heroine will give him the sense of an achievement." 

— Ayn Rand (Atlas Shrugged)

I’m sitting in San Clementi, CA in a VRBO. We are staying with our friends Dave, Anna, and Molly.  They invited us a few months ago, we didn’t know what we were in for, but so far, so good. 

We landed yesterday at 3:00, grabbed a cocktail at the rental and went and watched our friend, and professional equestrian rider, Anna jump. She’s a badass.

I never talk to my airplane mates. I usually get on the plane, save a seat for my Queen, inevitably, someone will grab the 3rd seat and aside from a friendly greeting, there is no communication. But yesterday was different.

I saw “John” before we boarded, super fit, blue eyes, I’m not a gay man, but this dude was handsome. He was a dandy looking fella. My Queen and I have decided to do a 9-day cleanse, no booze, no food, so we are trying to get our last few days of debauchery in before our sainthood.

John sat down, I informed him we travel frequently, and we had extra drink tickets if we wanted a cocktail. John smiled, “I’ve not had a drink in 10 years, but you guys enjoy.” We continued to chat from that initial exchange.

John was 33 years old, and he had his shit together. He made $120,000 a year in sales, in my opinion, he was underpaid. When he landed his first “big job” he went in, leased a BMW and lived the high life. After three years and a lot of wasted money he realized cars are not a good investment, he got out of the lease and bought a KIA Optima. Reason one, I liked John; he understands the car you drive does not define your status. I drive two vehicles both with 250,000 miles plus, cars are not my thing. Houses are my thing.

The more we talked, the more impressed I became with this young man. He used to be a heroin addict. He worked with bands, smoked crack, did meth, was addicted to heroin. But then he decided at 22 years of age to clean up. He got clean after 17 times in rehab. He now spends his time as a sponsor for other young men trying to get clean.

He shared this story whilst I drank my Jack and Coke Zero. My Queen sipped her Vodka and soda; he was an engaging young man. The flight ended, I told John “I never talk to people on planes. I’m sorry for the chatter.” He laughed, “I don’t either, but I enjoyed our talk.”

We got off the plane, excited the airport and waited for our ride. John was there as well, but our conversation was over. He was waiting or his girlfriend to pick him up, we waited for Dave to grab us to take us to the VRBO.  John was 6-foot-tall, had 2% body fat, and figured out how to live clean and sober.

John is an inspiration to me, and I asked him to speak to my Rotary club about his journey. He declined, he likes to keep that part of his life in the closet. He fears if others know his past, they won’t invest the time into him, but I would invest in John, he figured it out.

Many people that are lost and John is the beacon for salvation. He figured it out, and with a little strength and will, I think others can follow his lead. Darwin is a bitch, those that can figure it out are destined to die an early death, but every once in a while, a man, woman, or transgender decides enough is enough. John was this person, and I’m so glad our paths crossed.

My morning encouragement to you is to talk to strangers. Talk to those around you and learn their story. Life is about the human connection; the more you have, the more wonderful your life will be. My life is better because of a drug-addicted fella named John. You never know when life will give you gifts of the human experience.

"A man's sexual choice is the result and the sum of his fundamental convictions.... He will always be attracted to the woman who reflects his deepest vision of himself, the woman whose surrender permits him to experience a sense of self-esteem. The man who is proudly certain of his own value, will want the highest type of woman he can find, the woman he admires, the strongest, the hardest to conquer--because only the possession of a heroine will give him the sense of an achievement." 

— Ayn Rand (Atlas Shrugged)