Hermanidad

Returning home after a long holiday is always a bit complicated. While I’m away, there’s a longing to get back into the fray, to resume the work that gives me a purpose and a place in the world.

I’ve never in my life been good at working on the road– I need my desk, my house, my shell. For someone driven by a strong work ethic, this can feel uncomfortably unproductive— even while ostensibly on vacation.

But this year, as I return from nearly six weeks in Spain, I feel a continuum between work and life. That’s because I spent long and fruitful days “hammaming” with my sister Cece. The picture above shows us doing so on the sofa of the apartment my husband Bart and I rented in Seville.?

What is hammaming, you might ask?

Cece and I began using the term on a trip to Istanbul in 2019, where I was launching the Turkish-language edition of How Women Rise. She had flown to meet me from her home in Montpellier, France.

Bridging Workplace Divides

When we moved from my posh quarters near the conference venue over to a modest tourist hotel near the Blue Mosque, the receptionist described our new room as being “hammam concept.” We were both confused and amused (and remain so to this day). As far as we could figure out, the “concept” was a reference to the gilded haram scenes painted on the outside shell of the glass bathroom module that filled one corner of our room. Hammam of course is Arabic for baths.

Despite the gorgeous early November sunshine, we uncharacteristically spent our entire first day in our fakely ornate, nearly windowless “hammam concept” room.? Over breakfast, we’d gotten onto the topic of our very different career frustrations, and as the hours passed as we pressed one another to go deeper, never imagining we would keep it up for the next six hours.?

Inclusive Leadership

We came away with a clearer picture of her need to decide what she most wanted to do next– leave her academic position and start a storytelling program in Europe of the type pioneered by The Moth in the United States. Our session resulted in her starting StoryJam, which currently delivers live storytelling shows and workshops in France.

I also clarified my need to make peace with social marketing instead of pointlessly railing against it, and find a way to use my writing skills and insights to reach new readers. This newsletter, featured on Substack and LinkedIn, evolved from that conversation.

Our focus was on how we could help one another achieve these goals.

Since then, our once-or-twice a year get-togethers (usually in Spain, or the Hudson Valley where I live) have always featured a good dose of “hammaming.” On this long stay in Seville, we were able to spend days at it.

For Cece, the goal this time was figuring how build a network that would bring more visibility to the work she is doing, and bring storytelling to organizations that could find it useful.

I in turn made remarkable progress on my next project, writing my memoirs. I had stories and incidents in mind, but Cece pushed me to fill out the details and to surface themes that could bring the story together.

So as I head home from Spain this week, I feel eager to set about the next chapter in my life. I’m also grateful to have been able to mix work and time-off once again in a beautiful, far-off setting with Cece. The gilded bath in the corner was not even missed.

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