Here’s why you should talk less and listen more at work.
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Simone Heng , human connection speaker from Singapore remembers how everyone in her family was a strong speaker, talking over each other and shushing her as a child.?
But the real tragedy at the heart of this upbringing was that it robbed every person in that house of becoming a better listener
“The act of listening is filled with effort for me. It's not innate but it's certainly a skill that with effortful learning in the last half decade has transformed how people connect with me.”?
Dan Lyons , author of The Power of Keeping Your Mouth Shut in an Endlessly Noisy World says that overtalking can be compulsive: “Talkaholics don’t talk just a little bit more than everyone else, but a lot more... even when they know that other people think they talk too much.”?
By holding back and listening more attentively, you'll be able to get all the facts and provide a much more considered answer
From tips to becoming better listeners to implementing it at work, we spoke to experts on LinkedIn to get their take on using this key skill for success
Quick self analysis exercise: Are you a listener or a talker? Join the conversation and share your answers in the comments below and/or in a post using #GetHiredAsia
Information is power, listen without prejudice??
“In today's world, having access to information can greatly impact our long-term success. Rather than recklessly sharing our own opinions – take a breather and learn from others,” says Samira Shihab , founder of Tinkerlust, Indonesia.??
Listening is not an easy skill at all, says Ruth Lee , strategic communications lead at Doyobi, Singapore. “Writing notes (when I can) helps me a lot. We all have our inherent biases and sometimes prejudices how we process information. Different people also explain things differently. It's important to discern the speaker's intention and key messages they wish to convey,” she adds.
Show appreciation, give undivided attention
“People want to feel heard, listened to, and recognised. By giving someone your undivided attention and actively listening to their perspectives, you can offer them a valuable gift: the feeling of being appreciated,” says Shihab.?
But how can we genuinely do that? “This is a critical step in preparing others to respect, listen and consider our views,” recommends Tan Suee Chieh , past president at the Institute and Faculty of Actuaries, Singapore.?
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“In the many meetings I go to, most of us want to have our say. We put our hands up before the other speakers get finished as we are eager to share our analyses, answers, and solutions. But who is doing the listening?”?
We do not spend enough time listening to what is said. It’s important to be fully present in the conversation, reflect on the speaker's intention and practice attentive silence
Listen to be listened to?
“If you have a tendency to constantly share your opinions and speak too much, people are less likely to seek your input. However, by listening more and speaking less, your words will carry more weight and people will pay closer attention to what you have to say,” recommends Shihab.?
Talking over other people is hardly a wise strategy to get people to listen to you. “I used to talk quickly and not listen enough. Listening to people provides clues to what is important to them. For example, good salespeople across different industries focus on what is important to the customer. They can tailor their offerings to meet the customer’s needs, says Kenneth Goh , vice president at Citi, Singapore.
What tips can you offer to people who are looking to become better listeners? Let us know in the comments below and/or in a post using #GetHiredAsia
Want to learn more about how you can prepare yourself to thrive in the workplace of the future
Reported By: Neha Jain Kale – LinkedIn News Editor covering jobs and career development in Asia.
Creator Manager: Alita Utari Dewi
Editor’s Note: Some quotes were edited for length and clarity.
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1 年There are many ways and approaches to being a better listener, using the ontological coaching approach, the 3 areas we can leverage on are our body, emotion and language. When we pursue to be better listeners, we should be in a open and relaxed position. And with our emotion, we want to be conscious and being in the present so we can fully tune into what the person/people are sharing. Lastly with our language, asking questions instead of responding with answers would serve. Another additional tips for being a better listener, is to catch our breath, as in slowing down our breathing.
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1 年Over last few years, while attending to people going to mental health issues and seniors in the neighbourhood, I put in efforts to practice Active listening. I worked on not listening for replying but being genuine, and having empathy. In my opinion, when I am actively listening, my attention is focused on the other person in an attempt to understand, interpret, and evaluate what they are telling me. Active listening to be taught in Pre Schools and Lower Primary schools as I have observed and experienced that most of the adults don't listen actively. Great post Get Hired by LinkedIn News Asia .???????????????
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1 年Get Hired by LinkedIn News Asia Being a better listener can improve your relationships, communication, and overall effectiveness. Here are some suggestions for improving listening skills: One of the best ways to improve your listening skills is to learn to live in the present. Put down whatever you're doing and pay attention to the person talking to you. Put yourself in the other person's position and try to understand things from their point of view to better practise empathy. You can have a deeper comprehension of their emotions, wants, and worries by doing so. Don't cut the speaker off mid-sentence; doing so can come out as rude. Don't interrupt someone in the middle of a thought. Inquire about: You can learn more about the speaker's perspective and get them to open up by asking them open-ended questions. Think about what you've just heard. Take some time after the talk to think about what you accomplished and how you may utilise that to strengthen your bond with the other person. It takes time and effort to develop good listening skills. If you want to improve your listening skills, remember that it takes practise and that you shouldn't give up if at first you don't succeed.
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1 年I think that the quality and focus of talking or listening is what matters. When you talk, be totally into it and when you listen, really engage.