Here's Why it’s Better to Have a Hole Than an A**hole
Psst! I'm announcing the launch of my new book, Radical Respect: How to Work Together Better at SXSW on March 9 at 11:30 a.m. CT.?I will be sharing the stage with Wesley Faulkner , who co-hosts the Radical Respect podcast with me and. together we will outline the key ideas in the book. If you're at SXSW add our session to your calendar!
***
I once worked with a particularly notorious bully. One man I worked with commented, “Well, I have never had a problem with him myself, but I’ve never met an executive who is so universally hated by women.”?
Here are a few of the things I saw. Every interaction was an opportunity for him to make women uncomfortable. His job required frequent trips abroad. Driving from the airport, he’d point out all the sex hotels along the way. He loved to start what he leeringly called “catfights” between women at the office.
Once, he told me that he knew I secretly hated another woman on his team. When I assured him that in fact I liked and respected her, he began bad-mouthing her to me, asking how I could be supportive of someone who’d been promoted over me when she didn’t deserve it. When I disagreed again, he became visibly angry.?
Another time, he stood onstage in front of a few thousand people, flanked by his direct reports. He looked to his right, looked to his left, then gave a lecherous smile and said, “Ooooh, the ladies dressed up for me today!”
As is often the case, it wasn’t only women he picked on. It was anyone he deemed to be vulnerable. He once walked into a man’s office, put his phone on speaker, and asked him to call a colleague and ask that colleague what they thought of him without letting them know he was listening to the call.
It would be hard to replace him. There would be a “hole” on the leadership team if they got rid of him.
Even though the company prided itself on having a good culture, this executive kept on getting promoted. The message they wanted to put out was “You don’t have to pay the asshole tax here,” but these promotions told a different story: bullying will get you ahead.
People stopped trying to confront his behavior because it was getting rewarded. Which made more people think that they, too, had to behave like this executive to get ahead: abusive and domineering.
Why was this kind of behavior not punished? Why did he get promoted when he should have been penalized for his behavior? The usual reasons. His team was getting good results. There was pressure from Wall Street. It would be hard to replace him. There would be a “hole” on the leadership team if they got rid of him.
领英推荐
By the time the company fired this bullying executive, though, at least five top VPs had quit because of him, four of them women. And after he was gone, results improved.
His behavior had been hurting performance. His team had gotten good results despite him, not because of him. He got fired from his next job, too, for unethical behavior. Bullying and low moral standards often go hand in hand.
Give feedback, encouragement, and goals for improvement to people prone to bullying behavior. If the behavior doesn’t change, fire them. The long-term damage these people cause
is not worth any quarterly result they may be delivering. And whatever you do, do not promote people with a track record of bullying, no matter how good their results. There comes a
moment on too many teams when the jerks begin to win. That is the moment when the culture begins to lose.
Learn more about creating consequences for bullying in my book Radical Respect. Pre-order here.
Radical Respect is a weekly newsletter I am publishing on LinkedIn to highlight?some of the things that get in the way of creating a collaborative, respectful working environment. A healthy organization is not merely an absence of unpleasant symptoms. Creating a just working environment is about eliminating bad behavior and reinforcing collaborative, respectful behavior. Each week I'll offer tips on how to do that so you can create a workplace where everyone feels supported and respected. This week's newsletter was adapted from my forthcoming book Radical Respect: How to Work Better Together.
Business Investor | Author I Real Estate Builder & Developer Financial and Mentorship Investor in you and your business.
8 个月Absolutely!!! ????????????
Helping leaders ENERGIZE, ADAPT, and EXECUTE! We have the experience, knowledge and systems to help you run, grow, innovate and transform better and faster!
8 个月Sadly, and hopefully it is the companies I am seeing more closely, that story is becoming more and more common, not less. We need inspired leaders to turn the tide. Love your book, Kim Scott! I share it often. I also share Bob Sutton's book The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn't https://a.co/d/32OYWdp
You have all that potential. Let's unlock it together.
8 个月"Bullying and low moral standards often go hand in hand." I appreciate this framing. When I think of past bosses, I often measure how willing they were to harm others in order to protect or advance themselves. Your sentence nails it.
Branding, PR, and Political advisor bringing strategy, focus, and clarity together to create your next extraordinary project.
8 个月I am truly excited for this book launch! Radical Candor has been a North Star for me. Not only at work, but in every single facet of life. I expect Radical Respect will be nothing less than life-changing.
Head of Brand Management at Semrush | All things brand | Digital, PR, Global Brand
8 个月I hope there'll be another MasterClass course as with the Radical Candor - loved the way the information was presented there.