Here's what women taught me over this past week (men, this is for you)...

Here's what women taught me over this past week (men, this is for you)...

I've done two workshops on overcoming self-doubt and imposter syndrome for The Girls Club - Network and the Women in IT Summit & Awards Series this week.?

Professional women (business owners, senior exes, and middle managers) of all ages participated and I got to learn even more about what people - and females in particular - go through in their work lives.?

(Warning: massive generalizations ahead based which are based solely on my experience...)

Time and time again there were massively talented and effective women who talked about holding themselves back in the following ways;

**Perfectionism

Many women talked about the burning desire to do everything absolutely perfectly. This was way beyond over-delivering. It was an unhealthy obsession.?

The fact is that as a leader you need to make decisions, send proposals, and complete projects without all the information, and without everything being triple-checked.?

I told the group I was teaching their challenge was to send out an email with a purposeful spelling mistake in it.?

I think a few of the women almost fainted at the thought of that...

**Overwhelm

Women can take on so many roles.?

When doing a presentation for the National Association of Women Business Owners Million Dollar Roundtable, many women told me that men seem to have one major role; their career.

Women, however, often can take on the major responsibility of not just work, but the kids, taking care of the home, looking good, plus both sets of parents (hers and her in-laws.)?

That's a lot for anyone.?

Yet they keep everything going day after day, month after month, year after year.?

Then women can be so hard on themselves.

Here's a short note to you women:?

When you DO make a mistake, and SOMEONE EVEN NOTICES, that's OK!

You're still successful, valuable, and *WORTHY*, even when something doesn't go perfectly.

You just go own up to it and fix it. Simple as that.

Then it's done with.?

You got this.?

I see you - and I believe in you.

**Male cultures

Over and over I've heard stories about how they don't get a chance to speak in meetings or they got talked over.?

Men: there's a very good chance that the women in your team have more to add and more to give.?

Sometimes their voice may not be as loud, and they may stand out as much - they may be petite, or shy - and that makes it hard for them to get heard.?

However if you take time as a leader to ask them questions, then make them feel comfortable and pause to listen to their *whole* answer, you will be surprised at how much more your whole team will be successful.

In a way, that's part of your job, isn't it? To get the most out of people??

A simple thing you can do is reflect on the women in your team, and if there's more of an opportunity to give them more of a voice and a role.?

One woman shared that she feels that women don't always have other women's backs - and when she shared this, a few other people agreed.?

That means that the advice isn't just for men - it's for all of us.?

In fact, everything you are reading here isn't necessarily gender specific, however, it can show up more often in women.?

It was hard to post this; who am I to talk about women's experiences? What if some people push back??

Then I thought about it and I feel it's good to say it.?

Please do let me know your thoughts on this. Like anything else, do it respectfully and with an intention of learning and growth.?

Lead On,

Michael