Here's to new beginnings

“Any more questions?” I asked as I looked around the decorated hall, at my audience of middle-aged men and women. Most people around the room shook their heads. I heard some mumble “Nah, no, nope”. I paused, then picked up my pointer to end my talk. But then, I noticed one woman, who was looking at me and slowly raising her hand. She was modestly dressed and had a kind face. She had a forlorn and weary expression that I have seen countless times before.

She slowly began to speak.

"I have been a caregiver to my husband for the past 10 years. He has dementia. I have diabetes. I lost my job during the pandemic, as his home care stopped coming and I had to stay at home.” “So”, she paused, “We have no insurance and our children have stopped coming by to help. My husband does not know who they are. Sometimes he yells at them and says that they are stealing from him. I am pinching pennies and it is so hard.” She paused to dry her tears. “I do not know who he is anymore and I’m so tired of taking care of him. He promised me so much when I married him, and now, well, we have nothing. I don’t even have him as my husband anymore. I…I think I hate him, Dr. Amy, for ruining my life. I am still young. I feel so guilty about it, but you know, it is true. I do not have anything left to give”.

The hall fell silent as she spoke, except for the hum of my microphone.

I have heard these words before. They are commonly expressed by family caregivers in one form or another. The emotional, mental, physical, and financial demands of aging are immense. Family caregivers who shoulder this job, feel overwhelmed, and unsupported as they do the hard work of caring for their elderly loved ones.

She, sadly, is not the exception.

The estimated 11 million unpaid family caregivers in the United States face this daily. This figure includes our team members, employees, and colleagues who share offices and spaces with us. They face the hard decisions of going to work vs attending to their family members in need of their help. Oftentimes, the decision results in avoidable hospital admissions. As you can imagine, this can result in expenses to the health system which far surpasses the cost of providing paid leave to this worker. I am sure you can agree that this is not sustainable.

My mission is to uncover these hidden caregiver stories and their connection to our health system. Addressing these challenges and providing support to our caregivers is the key. If our ultimate goal is to keep our rapidly growing elderly population healthy and away from expensive health care, we need to start in their homes. I have walked alongside families supporting their aging loved ones as they age in place. Home is the safest, cheapest and at times the most nurturing environment for aging. But without well-equipped caregivers, it becomes an unsustainable arrangement.

What are your thoughts about aging in place? Have you been a caregiver? Does this resonate with you?

Let me know in the comments.

Thanks for reading.