?? ???????? ?? ???????? ???? ???? ???????? ?? Here's is how you can do it too. ??
Ankit Uttam
Not an Influencer (I write what I like to read). Pro Author (20+ Fiction Novels and counting). Noob Podcaster. Trying to build my D2C store.
?? ???????? ?? ???????? ???? ???? ???????? ?? Here's is how you can do it too. ??
Start with 50 lakh.
Follow a big finance influencer.
Buy finfluencer course on Stock market and trading.
Join their Telegram group
Forget FDs and any safe investment options.
They are for losers.
Invest money in Crypto.
Invest money in Future and Options.
Invest money in Grey Market stocks.
Invest money in Penny stocks.
Invest money in stocks that the finfluencer is pumping and dumping.
After 15 days, you will find that your 50 lakh is now ?? ???????? or less.
All depends on how big that finfluencer is.
Enjoy the feeling of making the influencer rich by using his link to open your demat account since he got a commission every time your traded via that Demat account.
Get angry.
Question the finfluencer on LinkedIn and YouTube about his scammy tips.
Get blocked by the finfluencer.
Get trolled by his Andh Bhakt followers.
Shut down your phone and laptop to avoid the trolling.
Cry in your pillow.
Tell your girlfriend/wife/second-wife/neighbor's wife about the 5 lakh.
Get scolded.
Tell your papa about the 5 lakh.
Get slapped.
Tell your mummy about the 5 lakh.
Get fresh ????.
Leave your home.
Walk on roads with a sad face.
See that finfluencer's face on a billboard, promoting "financial literacy in India for FREE".
Throw a stone at it.
The stone hit a lady standing under the billboard.
She calls police on you.
You get slapped by the constable. Twice.
领英推荐
Cry.
Beg.
Tell the constable your story.
Get slapped again.
The constable too made 2 lakhs from his 20 lakhs following the same finfluencer's advice on YouTube.
The lady scolded both of you for being stupid.
She calls the head of the SEBI to put a leash on the finfluencer dhanda.
You look closely at the lady.
She is Nirmala Sitharaman, Minister of Finance of India.
You are not crying any more.
You ask her to do something about it.
Maam Nirmala Sitharaman asks - "About the finfluencer?"
You say - "No."
Maam Nirmala Sitharaman asks -"Then about what?"
You say - "About the 28% GST on gaming companies."
You are a big gamer on CrikPe.
She looks at you with a smile
And then slaps you.
Thrice.
You open your phone and look at your Guru-Ji with moist eyes.
Ashneer Grover's wallpaper on your phone smiles back at you.
You get a call from your mummy.
"Come home... ??? ??? ??? ???? ???... ?????? ??? ??? ?? ??... ???? ?? ??? ????? ??? ??? ???... ???? YouTuber ?? ?????? ?? ???? ??? ???."
You know what is going to happen next.
You look at Maam Nirmala Sitharaman and run to your home.
That's it for now.
PS: Image only for representation.
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HSBC I Wealth Management, Personal Finance, Retail Banking & Wealth Tech l Ex-ICICI, Aviva, Net4India
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