Here Is Why I Don't Call You After Midnight

?

Nothing good happens after 2 am, they say, and I never believed it, not until the night I told you how much I’m in love with you

We do stupid things when we’re in love but we do the dumbest things after midnight- perhaps, our heart dominates every decision we make.

After midnight the world becomes unfamiliar, every little thing you say has more value. It makes you vulnerable when you’re talking to your loved ones.

That night, I should have just slept instead of calling you, that night

everything you said seemed like an indication that you liked me, too.

I remember everything we said that night. I had called you at 1.05 AM, tipsy, and when I heard you voice, senses were knocked into me. I wanted to disconnect the call and go to sleep, but I didn’t.

After remaining quiet for the longest period, I told you that I’m sitting at the balcony and it’s raining outside. All you said in your sleepy voice was “uh-huh I hate rain.” I chuckled and said nothing more. I wondered if the universe was overpowering my feelings, prompting me to confess to you?

We were on call, making small talk. I was moving the conversation in circles, away from the real thoughts I had in mind- that I wanted to walk in the rain with you.

I heard you yawn, and ever so slowly, you passed out. I gathered my courage and whispered, “I’m in love with you.” I could hear you breathe, and a part of me hoped you’d scream, “I’m in love with you, too” but no sound came.

I knew you never felt that way, but just saying it out loud to you, that was enough for me. Whatever I had buried deep within me, I spoke, without worrying about the world. And then, I heard the tiniest whimper- I went quiet, my heart thumping inside my chest.

We never spoke about that night. I also stopped calling you after midnight. Perhaps, next time, you will only pretend to be asleep- and then, you’ll break my heart. Yet I can’t stop wondering, “were you really asleep that night”.