HER

Her!!!!

Every time I looked at the mirror so intense and curious I saw him and that makes me happy because he is the love of my life , and to be honest I’m fully attracted, his kind of love is what wakes me up in the morning and what keeps me awake every night .

I reach up and tuck my long blond hair behind my ear , I prepared myself to eat dinner in ( la vivre fran?ais restaurant) one of my favorites … it’s 10 pm and I feel his lips on my hair as?I narrow my eyes in his direction it was him … he sits in front of me then he asks for a drink as his fingers drum the side of the cup , he watched me silently for several beats and then he asked me to sit beside him , he lifts his empty glass of wine to his mouth and tilts his head back far enough to salvage a sip from the melting ice ; wine he says shaking his glass in the air until the waiter nods and walk over to refill it , you obviously need to tell me something… he brings his hand up on my face , he run his fingers over all my skin and smell my hair deeply but this time with a disappearing breath my tears were running across my face over my jaw and down to my neck and disappear beneath the follow of his shirt … my heart sink just when I think I’ll loose him I wish he wasn’t so transparent I escape my tears again , I wish this moment not to end with tears.?I loved this man he was handsome with a tough character, anger, in love with football ??, many things let me in love with him .

The next several minutes are spent in a complete silence while we both finish eating.

Crossing my legs as my louboutin heels hit the side of the table and my black midi dress flys away with each sway of the door opening , my blonde hair sticking to my red lipgloss , I tuck my hair into a ponytail and stared with my hazel eyes into his dark brown eyes as they widen every second I move . He just can’t stop looking over and I blush when he gazed at me .. I knew at that second he wanted to shoot me something I don’t wanna listen to , I’m all ears I said , I’m ready whenever you are .?

A cold breeze runs through my veins as in reality I’m not even ready to hear a single glimpse of his moving lips . I swallowed air as much as I could to make sure I’m alive . His thoughts and looks make me anxious . I feel he’s feeling pathetic for me .?

His attitude?was discreet grace , his face was not in apparent he was suspicious, then he slide into my seat and hold my hand … ( Historia de un amor ) the name of the beautiful music starts playing in the restaurant then he put his head inside my neck whispering can I have a dance with you ..?

He hold me tightly to his big arms I can hear his heart beats he smell every part of my hair saying my unique lady then he said I’m a man with a heart just like a hotel rooms , I love ladies but because I’m weird and unique no one can catch me or let’s say no one can get my heart easily only … only !!! HER !!! HER!!! He is repeating HER and hold me tight like?he don’t want me to run a way till my pearl strap of the black dress breaks and falls up on the floor … he kissed my arm saying I’m in love with HER … Her …Her.. the pearl on the floor was the broken pieces of my heart it was my tears that wet his costume I was in love deeply with him but unfortunately he was in love with Her … only Her .

I run a way from him but one of his cufflinks stuck on my long hair when I reach my car something hurts me I put my hand I recognize an airplane ?? cufflinks one of the most I loved when he was wearing it , I’m crying heavily because her name was printed down I hold it deeply with a rainy tears .. I can’t throw it it’s the last memory from the person I’m in love with him ., the man that the essence of my life he is the existence of deep love , without his love no life no soul nothing actually nothing I was crying remembering his perfume that stuck on my hair , his kisses on my arm was like a tattoo how it comes to disappear because of Her … I LOVE YOU DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT ?? Do you understand what do you mean to me !!!??? Your love like tender that passes through my hair leaving a good bye steps on it …don’t go please I begged you … a?disappeared hope on this moment holding his cufflinks tightly?. My hands frozen before I switch on the car I feel I want to crumble to the ground I sigh I cried deeply I can’t master my emotions i sigh à long sighs that’s make me what’s hell is doing wrong ? I squeeze the tension from the center of my jaw and I switch on the car and my head was bombard with millions of questions that creeps into my head I was unease I want him to reach home safely because it was a heavy rainstorm .

Somebody nocking my car window I feel afraid like ten thousand feet higher above sea level than I was five minutes ago I wipe the window it was him he is angry and wet I opened the lock and he rides beside me along silent moment his face was wet and also his shirt I pull my scarf ?? and cover him I roll around his nick so I can smell him again when I sleep tonight.

I brush his wet?hair with my fingers I don’t even hide my gasp in front of him something forces me to hold him tight … he was angry like he will explode in my face, he put his fingers on my face and neck he grips?my jaw and I flinch “ you have the most incredible bones structure and I know it’s a weird complement but it’s touching my soul I feel shocked I release what might be a cross between laugh and cry .

He tilts my face upward you forget something I think !! What I reply !! He opened his Handkerchief and it was full of pearl the pearl of my strapless that fell down … I can’t seem to move or speak or breath for this moment… for the first time I notice his lungs are pulling in air with as much effort as mine are . My eyes never leaves his beautiful face and on the other hand his eyes never leaves my shaking body I’m afraid of losing him of loosing my soul my everything… I wish I can hold all his angry breath and hide it inside my lungs … our eyes remain locked until he gave me a deep cuddle … the harder is to pull back tears I don’t want to show him my deep love and my weakness that’s when I realize tears are still streaming down my cheeks , so I bring my hands to my face and attempt to wipe them away , but they keep going . We stand silence for a bit longer , he faces me again before he exits my car and draw an exasperated laugh on his face saying good bye .

Next evening we met in the airport I was holding his cufflinks on my chest and he was there also but holding HER hand tightly in this moment my heart beats quickly and my tears drop heavily and I remembered this quote for MAYA ANGELO?

“YOU ARE ONLY FREE WHEN YOU REALIZE YOU BELONG NO PLACE - YOU BELONG EVERY PLACE -NO PLACE AT ALL . THE PRICE IS HIGH . THE REWARD IS GREAT .

My boarding number is calling out and it’s time to say goodbye....