Helping a vulnerable family member

Following on from my insights given from attending talks on vulnerability at the PIMFA Compliance Conference on the 19th September, I thought I would reflect on my current journey with my mother and her vulnerabilities and what I have found helpful in the last 12 months to help us reduce/manage her worries:

Appoint a Trusted Person: My mother and I were lucky to have done this some years ago before her health deteriorated. It is a hard topic to talk about but it takes a great deal of anxiety away from the vulnerable person if they know that they have someone to trust to manage and look after their finances. Going through this process some years ago has enabled me to sort her bills, call companies and set up things for her whilst she has been in hospital. It has allowed my mother to concentrate on getting better rather than worrying about financial matters. If you are able to, my advice would be to work with your family member before their health deteriorates, to become an appointed trusted person.

Set Up Direct Debits and Standing Orders: Every family member has habits and ways of spending/using money.? It can sometimes be difficult to educate the changes in how money can be managed digitally but if you able to with your vulnerable person this will make money management easier and reliable without building extra anxiety. This will also reduce the need for emergency actions to be undertaken or incurring fines for late payments.

Use Online Banking: This is one battle I did not win! My mother is still a branch and paper person and so her move to digital is not as far forward as some might expect.? This does affect how she can interact with money and requires careful planning if needing to speak to someone. So my advice would be to pick a bank that is has good face to face customer service and hearing facilities to aid clear conversations. You can find this out when researching banks or building society services online.

Budgeting and Planning: If your parent or loved one is to be in hospital for a long time it will be important to look after your own financial wellbeing during this time, as well as theirs. Visiting hospitals, parking, refreshments, time out of work, childcare, dog sitting, all of these are extra costs that you may not have planned for.? It is difficult when you are concerned for a loved one and have to make a choice about whether you can visit or not because of the cost involved.? My tips in this space would be to:

• create a visit schedule with family and friends, this can reduce the cost of you having to attend the hospital daily;
• gifts, when other people visit the hospital they will always ask if they can get the ill person something.? If they are needing equipment, medical supplies, tissues, books etc you could ask them if they would like to help in purchasing one or some of the items needed.? This will help reduce your spending;
• Travel, see if a friend or family member can take you to the hospital if they are heading in that general direction, this will help reduce fuel costs and parking costs.? It will also give you some time to talk with friends and family but also give you a break from driving/physical travel.
• Mental health. It is very mentally draining for any loved one to be in hospital for any duration of time so make sure you carve some time to just be you, go for walk, listen to music etc.
• WhatsApp: Everyone will want to know how your loved one is progressing; this is a very hard thing to have to do continuously especially if they are seriously unwell.? Therefore, my advice would be to set up a ‘news bulletin’ WhatsApp group.? That way you can send one update message to all at once.
• Tell your work/employee what is happening and seek out what support you could receive.? Some organisations offer compassionate leave, counselling, doctor services.? Do not be afraid to talk about it and ask for help.

Review Benefits and Entitlements: There are many rules and regulations about claiming benefits whilst in hospital for an extended period.? I used citizens advice, local authority help lines and also government websites for information.? Depending on your loved ones situation their financial support could be affected and so early intervention in this space is crucial.? If funding is removed, contact citizens advice and associated charities for information of how to move forward.? I have placed some below:

• Citizens Advice: This charity offers advice on many areas that can affect your family.
• Turn2us: This charity helps people access financial support through benefits, grants, and other resources.?
• Macmillan Cancer Support: Macmillan provides financial advice and grants to people affected by cancer.?
• National Debtline: This charity provides free advice to people dealing with debt.?

Lastly,

Secure Important Documents: You will at times be asked for the most random and official things during the course of supporting a vulnerable person.? Either having hold of that documentation whilst they are in hospital or know where it can be located is really important. Keep important documents in a safe place and make sure you know where to find them.?

I do not profess to be an expert in this space, mine is an ongoing journey, which changes each week.? However, I am a strong believer of a problem shared is a problem halved and so I hope that is has been helpful.