Helping the colleagues in virtual environment

Have you thought about how working in virtual environment makes it more difficult to ask for help or helping someone? I had a small AHA moment last week.

Last week, a situation happened to me that made me think of helping your colleagues. I don’t mean your direct teammates that you know well, and you cooperate on the common tasks towards the same goal, where helping each other is natural. I’m talking about helping the colleagues that you don’t know that well (or don’t know at all) and how the current situation of remote work makes this situation more complicated for both sides.

A colleague whom I don't know wrote me via chat to help him with something. Nothing big really, a little favor. But he couldn’t possibly pick up worst timing. I had horrible day, running from meeting to meeting and on the background finishing on a bigger task where there have been some problems. I was really stressed out and had very bad mood in general. So, when his request popped in, I got annoyed. Why is he bothering me now? Can’t he wait with this petty thing? And immediately I felt ashamed. This is not me and the poor fellow had no way to know what state I am in. If we were in the office, he could see that I was stressed and busy and probably would wait with asking or simply would ask someone else (I wasn’t the only one who could help him). Now he can’t see me, so he can only ask and believe that he caught me up in a position willing to help.

Asking for help and helping the others in the office is so much easier. Not only you can time your request based on what do you see, but there is also immediate emotional reward. You see a concrete person you help to and you are rewarded with a smile or face to face ‘thank you’ that is just so much more emotionally satisfying when you see each other. You see an immediate impact of your help. You are more motivated to offer a help to someone you already have some personal bonding with. Whether you know the person from the small talk in the kitchen or recognize him/her from the office space, it’s more natural to offer help when there is a connection. Also, the person can give a little act of kindness in return – whether it is an offer of a coffee or sharing a piece of cake. Even if you don’t want it, it’s there as a physical gesture. This is nearly impossible to replicate in online space.

And I realized how much more difficult this has to be for new starters. They cannot absorb the atmosphere in the office and that it is normal to ask for help and what is the typical language we use to do so (whether it is more formal, or very informal).

So mental note to myself: never let me be annoyed when someone asks for help, for them is much more complicated to ask someone they have never seen. 2nd note: encourage actively new team members never to be afraid to ask.