Helpful Advice


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By: Elizabeth Cowan

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People give each other advice whether it is requested or not.

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Some advice this lady received was not only helpful but also wise.

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For example, an elderly neighbor who, unfortunately, suffered from many health issues told this lady’s younger self: “Take care of your body because if you don’t, it will pay you back a thousandfold when you get older.”

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Her advice was spot-on.

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All we have to do is look around. The folks with health issues began their journey in their youth or young adulthood. Excess in all its forms has a price.

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But our younger selves do not like to be given the facts. We are stubborn, and in the deep recesses of our minds, we might even believe that bad things happen to others, not to them.

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Consequently, when health issues arise, the naysayers are shocked and perhaps in denial. Reality is a witch with a “B.”

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However, some advice is part of the process. As was the case with the Hatha Yoga with Mrs. Kathleen Hitchcock program on PBS.

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This lady’s youngest brother visited often during the early years of our marriage. He enjoyed joining this lady in her daily yoga exercises. It was common for him to add those extra comments concerning bodily functions that young boys think are funny.

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So, when Kathleen prefaced a move with “pinch your buttocks,” baby brother fell over laughing as if that was the funniest thing he ever heard. During the day, long after our yoga exercises were over, he would giggle and say, “Pinch your buuutocks.” He dragged out the “u” to enhance the moment.

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Eventually, “Pinch your buuutocks” became our private joke, even years later.

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This lady was reminded of the above story while chatting with a friend about the importance of exercise, including stretches.

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Of course, movement and staying active are critical to physical and mental health. If all we do is sit around imitating vegetables. Eventually, our muscle tone will be non-existent. Stretching realigns the spine, especially when we get up in the morning or after long hours spent staring at the computer.

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Her friend mentioned that as people age, their shoulders become stooped. However, we cannot overlook the effect of sitting for hours working on our computers. No matter our age, the stooped-shoulder visual is never attractive. However, when we think of hunched shoulders, we only think of that posture in relation to seasoned citizens. Admittedly, imitating the Leaning Tower of Pisa as we walk is not a pretty sight at any age.

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As we continued to discuss the importance of posture, he said, “Pinch your buttcheeks as you walk.”

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Ladies and gents, have you tried walking with your shoulders back while concentrating on pinching your buttcheeks together?

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This lady imagines that she either looked constipated or as if she were trying to hold things inside. More than likely, she looked like she had a very long and uncomfortable stick up her posterior.

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Fortunately, she practiced her butt-pinching walk in the privacy of her driveway while taking out the trash. Only the cattle, the donkeys, and the birds in the sky witnessed her strut.

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Eventually, humor won out. She collapsed on her backdoor step, laughing. And, there went the pinched buttocks.

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This lady supposes that some things must be sacrificed on the altar of laughter.

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#1028

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