Help NOT Wanted: The REAL Reason People Don’t Hire Veterans

On Memorial Day we honor and pay tribute to the some who gave all and on Veterans Day we honor the all who gave some so that you and I can enjoy freedom (that so many other people in the world lack).

Then in 24 hours, poof! Veterans go back to being out of sight – except when we see them as part of the homeless and avert our glance – out of mind and out of luck when it comes to getting hired.

Some of the false assumptions that back up the confirmation biases that cause people not to hire them include:

1.    Their military skills are not transferable to civilian life and they’re too rigid to change. Oh really! Is that so? I guess you have never heard of the Three Block War concept first put forth by US Marine General and Commandant Charles “Chuck” Krulak in the late 1990’s where he explained how the modern soldier in any twenty four hour period within a three contiguous blocks was required to wage war, provide peacemaking and humanitarian aid and now we can add to that speak to a reporter with information that would immediately go around the globe. The combination of specialized skills, adaptability, compassionate empathy and the ability to articulate activity is an ability that completely eclipses that of an engineer, salesperson, marketing person, and even many CEO’s especially those who come from an engineering background.

2.    Their military background makes them a poor fit for the civilian business world. Oh really... once again. Their respect for authority vs. being like too many rebellious and entitled young workers and their willingness to dig in to solve problems rather than whine and complain about them, not to mention their loyalty is again something missing from much of the current younger workforce.

3.    If they have PTS, there’s too much risk that they’ll do something destructive. Oh really... still again! Stop watching so much of the sensationalized news media! One thing the majority of veterans with PTS know is that there are various triggers that they have to work around and they have a wide range of coping skills they have developed to do that. Having that mindset and developing ways to deal with triggers actually makes them less of a liability than workers who don’t have the self-awareness of triggers and almost no coping mechanisms when they invariably occur. Veterans with PTS are therefore often less likely to be caught off guard than your civilian workforce.

If the above is true, what is the real reason you won’t hire veterans?

In a word, shame.

When you interact with a veteran who has put themselves in harm’s way and sacrificed so much more than you so that you can be free, it can trigger shame in you regarding what little you have done to make the world a better, safer and freer place. 

Shame is an emotion that we all have and try to stay away from feeling because it can cause us to feel unworthy and undeserving of the happiness and success that we put so much effort into achieving.

And what if you have hired a veteran with PTS and he or she is having a rough day and needs just a little bit of understanding, but to you they’re not a person, and just a function who will hopefully be replaced by AI and technology in the future so you never have to have any feelings. That can add guilt to your shame.

But maybe I protest too much. Perhaps I am just projecting the shame I have felt for protesting the Vietnam War at UC Berkeley in the 1960’s while some of my high school classmates died in that conflict and my now good friend Lt. General Martin Steele was a hero and later became the COO of the Marines under Commandant Krulak. 

I was overwhelmed when I first visited the Vietnam War Memorial in Washington, D.C. in the rain and rubbed my fingers over the names of my high school classmates, Arthur Stroyman and Paul Dunne, and then looked at the endless names on either side.

Add to that, none of my grown children ever got close to serving in the military while some sons and daughters of my good friends were killed in the wars since 9/11.

I remember attending a wounded and traumatized veterans retreat outside St. Louis a few years ago. I spoke there and it did not go well because I was the only non-military person plus veteran after veteran told me how dismissively and curtly they had been treated by members of my psychiatric profession in the VA, an institution they hated.

I apologized for that treatment and I told them I would call and write to the American Psychiatric Association (APA) to see if I could do something about it and also if I had the chance would go on the record with that apology because they did deserve better. My calls and letters to the APA got me nowhere.

I did however have the chance to make that apology pubic when I appeared on CNN with host Don Lemon about the changes in ruling about soldiers and veterans not needing to humiliate themselves by having to prove their PTSD was legitimate.

Our veterans deserve better from us, don’t you agree?

And if we continue to put them out of sight and out of mind the day after Veterans Day, shame on me and shame on you.