To help someone, you don’t have to solve all their problems. Solve just one and you'll make a huge impact.

Last month, my family and I suffered an unfortunate loss. Our dear friend Coach Mac passed away after a quick battle with a very rare form of pancreatic cancer. Mac had become a constant presence in our lives over the past decade. He was our sounding board on so many things, a guide through challenging times, and a good friend. Ultimately becoming the Godfather to all our children, who lovingly referred to him as Grandpa Mac.

Why am I sharing this on a professional network?

Simply put, I wouldn’t be where I am professional if it weren’t for his help.?But Mac didn’t help me in the normal business mentorship way. To be fair, he knew nothing about my profession. The way he helped me however was by solving one of the smallest problems that was a side effect of my life as a super-commuter.? Mac picked me up from the airport each and every Friday at midnight and drove me home to my family. In doing so, he enabled me not to worry about the seemingly minute challenge of getting home from the airport. Which allowed me to focus on other more important things. As it turned out, the impact was huge.

How I became a "super-commuter."

A few years ago, I was going through a very rough patch professionally. I was somewhat blacklisted due salacious clickbait newspaper headlines of companies I previously worked for. As a result, I was having a very difficult time getting traction in the professional world. So, to change my fortunes, I took an opportunity to work at a large US tech company with a mission to help people.?With the ultimate hopes of providing stability in my life again and discrediting any naysayers who unfairly stereotyped me.

However, the problem with this new career opportunity was that the job was 1,500 miles away from where my family lived. (This was pre-pandemic, so remote work was not an option.)

Furthermore, the opportunity did not provide enough financial compensation to make relocation a no-brainer. My wife, kids and I had built a good life in our hometown where we lived.?She was a career teacher with good pay, retirement, and great benefits. And we had a tremendous support system for our young kids, who were 1 and 3 at the time.

So, after a lot of reflection, my wife and I decided together that I would take the career opportunity but do so as a "super-commuter."?

For reference, “Super-commuters” are classified as people who spend most of the work week in the city their office is based, returning home on weekends. In my case, I would travel each week from Buffalo, NY to Austin, TX. Generally, leaving either Sunday night or Monday morning and returning on Friday night. It was a 7-hour trip each way. ?Once in Texas, I kept small apartment 1,500 miles away from my wife and kids, allowing me to show up to the office each week and focus on my career. The whole process was grueling. Furthermore, my company did not pay for it, making it all an out-of-pocket and after-tax expense.

The toll added to an array of challenges.

I was emotionally and physically exhausted, financially broke, and lost. But professionally, I was growing and finally, I was given the opportunities I desperately craved. I began slowly climbing my way back into relevancy. The opportunity cost, however, was great, resulting in a lot of problems my family had to solve.

As mentioned, one of the smallest problems we had was figuring out how I would get home from the airport each week. I usually left Austin after work on the last flight out. This allowed me to maximize my time in the office each week. But by the time I got home on Friday, it was generally past midnight. By this time, my wife would be home with our two young children, who had been sleeping for hours. She couldn’t just hop in the car to pick me up, leaving them home alone. Uber was an option, but that had an added expense and time sink that just piled on to everything else.

That’s where Mac stepped in. Without asking, Mac offered to pick me up from the airport, every week. No matter what he had going on in his life, he was always there waiting for me in the middle of the night to drive me home to my family.

This weekly routine actually turned out to be a great experience for both of us.?He would tell me about things going on with soccer (Mac was a HS soccer coach), and I would tell him about my plans for the weekend. We would discuss random things that popped up in life and then say our friendly goodbyes until we met again the next week.

Lessons Learned.

Mac’s act of service, picking me up and driving me home, meant so much to me. Mac chose to volunteer his time when he normally would be sleeping to help me solve one of the simplest of life’s challenges I was facing at the time. A minor issue, such as "how am I going to get home from the airport each week.” The impact was enormous and I will never forget the lesson I learned from it.

You see, if you really want to help people you care about, you don’t have to solve all their problems. You don’t have to solve even their biggest problems. Just try to solve one problem. That one problem you can provide a solution to will give that person the time and ability to tackle another bigger problem. By taking something small off their plate, you will be helping out more than you ever truly understand.

If you really want to help someone, you don’t have to solve all of their problems. You don’t even have to solve their biggest problems. Just try to solve one problem.

Our Life with Mac.

Looking back over our time with Mac, I realize how influential he was to my family. He started out as my wife’s soccer coach in high school, then became her coworker and mentor when they coached together later in life. Through that working relationship, they became good friends and great father-like figures for her to look up to and help guide her. When my wife and I began dating, Mac welcomed me with open arms, and we instantly became friends.

Once my wife and I started having children of our own, Mac, who had just retired from teaching, became a new daily source of entertainment for us. He quickly got bored after a lifetime of teaching and needed people to hang out with during the workday. My wife, who was on maternity leave, was someone he knew he could sit around with and talk soccer with. He got to know our children very well from this. So much so they began to call him Grandpa Mac. They loved his energy and would get so excited when he was around because he was really just a big kid himself.

In time, Mac and his wife Sherri, became the Godparents for our children. They did a tremendous job at that. The two of them together even provided my wife and I with an unbiased outlet to talk through challenges we were having in life. Later, they even provided a source of spiritual guidance for us, as we were looking for a good church community and Sunday school for our kids. Ultimately re-introducing us to concepts found through religion that enables an appreciation of life from a different perspective.

To say Mac was just a dependable resource for us over the past decade is an understatement. We relied on his presence for so much, and he provided us with more than we ever asked of him. I will forever miss him and the impact he had on my family. The magnitude of this loss is intenste, but we take solace in knowing that he has achieved his ultimate goal of taking rest next to the man he dedicated his life to many years ago.

Time is the most valuable resource.

Overall, I would like to reiterate the theme of life that Mac has helped me better understand. It’s the concept of how giving time matters. To many people, giving time is simply volunteering. They do it because they think it’s the right thing to do or because they were asked and feel obligated to do it.

But in reality, giving your time to someone else is so much more. It is the foundation on which we build better relationships and strong communities. It’s a way to be more integrated into those around us, building networks, friendships, and families. It’s a foundation for creating purpose in our lives through helping others address all of life’s problems, no matter how big or small.

When you come across someone in life who is struggling, find a way to help them in any capacity you can. Maybe it’s just talking to them on the phone, letting them vent without passing judgment. Or maybe it’s going a step further and picking them up from the airport every Friday night at 1am. Helping people find solutions to their little problems truly makes the world a better place for you and them.

"A burden shared is a burden halved."

- T.A. Webb