Help! A shag at work has occurred!

Happy Valentine's Day! Let’s talk about workplace shagging.

Ahh the office romance, l’amour de bureau, büroromantik - surely it’s inevitable when people are spending 70% of their lives at work. So why does it feel weird?

It’s a subject that many of us find hard to navigate, and with good reason! On one hand, you don’t want to pry into people’s private lives; on the other, you’re worried about how things might impact work.

Don’t panic, there’s no law against relationships at work. But there are some things employers need to be aware of when two people in the team get loved up.?

Bad Romance

You know you’ve got a potential workplace issue when the power dynamics are all off. A senior leader getting off with the intern, a manager dating one of their reports, a hiring manager flirting with an applicant - these aren’t things you can just ignore. Your duty of care as an employer means you have to be sure nothing untoward is happening here like an abuse of power or even sexual harassment.?

The Ick

Even in a best case scenario things can get icky when the rest of the team finds out - a sense of favouritism or injustice, hot office gossip and just plain awkwardness are all things that tend to crop up. If the relationship (or fleeting romance) involves a senior person, this might also cause a dip in the team’s faith in the integrity of the leadership. If it happens regularly, it might end up accidentally becoming part of your workplace culture (a BIG talent draw for some, but probably not the sort of people you want to hire).

So what the flippin’ heck can you do about it?

1 - Make sure you’ve got the right protection (yes, that’s a condom joke)

Not essential, but if you have a big team or a particularly errr…. active team, you might want to think about having a stance on workplace relationships in your handbook. It doesn’t need to go into all the ins and outs … but rather just some guidance on safeguarding, transparency, and when people might need to let HR/someone know what’s going on. Tailor your approach to fit your team culture, ensuring it's seen as clarity/acknowledgement rather than an unwelcome intrusion.

2 - Encourage transparency and support

Creating a culture where people feel supported and safe to have awkward conversations, without judgement, is crucial in avoiding tricky situations down the line. Speak to people, discuss whether anything needs to be adjusted (like reporting lines or project assignments), and be clear on expectations on behaviour at work if it feels appropriate. The key in all of this is trust - both ways. Trust that people will come to you (AKA don’t go snooping into other people’s private lives), and in turn, with the right culture and approach to these things, people will trust you enough to tell you what’s going on.

Of course, if the relationship power dynamic is all off, or if you get a feeling something more slimy is at play - that’s another conversation and I’d recommend seeking some HR advice on this!

3 - Be prepared for it to go tits up

Let's not forget, not all romance has a happy ending. Be ready with support systems for those awkward post-breakup phases - a teary tea break or a curt email response is an absolute classic response. Everyone will have different ways of dealing with this stuff, so just bear in mind that they might not walk to talk about it - just be clear on expectations, be flexible, be empathetic, and listen.

Well, that’s it! Short and sweet this time. A weird little topic but one to have on your radar, particularly in the season of love! If you have any questions or conundrums about workplace relationships, and your duties as an employer (or employee) just give me a shout.