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The Eight Stages of Addiction Escape…
Addiction is always a hot topic and escape from its claws can be a lifelong trial for some. Being somewhat of a past addict myself, I didn’t know that these stages actually existed. I just did what most folk do when they are in ‘Addiction Peril’ - namely try to abstain, mess up and then try again.
Now, I’ve seen some very promising and talented individuals end up becoming all consumed by their dependence on a complete spectrum of booze, drugs and behavioural traits. Even the acknowledgement of their situation is sometimes too much to take on board and admit to their condition - which takes me nicely onto stage one.
We all know folk that are in ‘Denial’. Yes, acquaintances that have no idea that they are out of control or endangering themselves and the lives of others. Their once-a-month occasional blow-out has spiralled into a daily need. It’s a process that happens all too quickly and It’s amazing that ‘a-once-month-kinda-thing’ can become an all-consuming ‘30-in-30’ necessity. I’ve been there myself, fingers in my ears, blocking out the observations of my nearest and dearest as I continued my self-destructive behaviour. Put simply, some folk are quite happy killing themselves.
Becoming aware of an Addiction takes time. It feels like the Addiction has slowly crept up - sort of when you weren’t looking. The glass of wine after work to unwind has become two or three, then a bottle or two bottles, every day. Every morning has become a bit of a battle to get out of bed and the first few fuzzy hours are hastily coffee-filled as the day finally clears around lunchtime to start the whole process again. When I speak to daily one-bottlers about seeing three and four bottlers I always find it amusing how they say, ‘Oh, I’m not that bad’, but they are - they just haven’t ‘acknowledged their precarious position.
When they have finally realised, well that’s when the ‘Dithering’ starts. Do you know an ‘Addiction Ditherer’? Yes they’ve ‘fessed up. Come clean. Acknowledged their situation but are really nowhere nearer sorting it out. This stage can last the longest and I’m sure we all know serial cigarette smokers for instance that say ‘I’d love to give up’ yet really you know they never will as they love smoking too much or feel like they’ve smoked for so long that there wouldn’t be any health benefits to be gained. How wrong they are and at over ￡18 a packet - how much poorer they are too. I remember being at stage three for some time before plucking up the courage for Stage Four as that, takes balls.
Yes, picking YOUR day, the day that can change your life forever. I remember mine most clearly. It took a huge amount of strength and personal realisation that I needed to change. Realising my ‘Self-failure’ and ‘Weakness of Character’ was a bitter pill to swallow. Admitting to myself was one thing, admitting it to someone else - well that was another matter, so I spent a fair bit of time in the ‘Next Week’ stage as there’s nothing more frightening than standing on the edge of a new future minus your best friend - Addiction.
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But then you take a deep breath and jump, it’s exhilarating. It’s fun to be free. Full of Adrenalin and positive thoughts. Well for a few days anyway, until the cracks start to appear and the hunger pangs of Addiction start eating away like worms into your brain - consuming your inner resolve and goodwill. And don’t get me wrong, some folk grab freedom at the first opportunity. One short, sharp shock being all that’s needed to reverse the Addiction tailspin in a single dose. If only it happened like that for everyone.
On average, it takes four times to travel through the ‘Action-Failure-Cycle’ on average. The ‘F’ word of Addiction is so condemning. For those looking for eternal abstention we’ll say from booze - counting the days is an incentive as well as a final condemnation of defeat as the clock resets to zero and the whole process starts over. Food Addiction? Well, that’s more of a ‘Grey Area’ as even the mighty weightloss success stories I’ve helped to create will admit to a few sins along the way. Some folk take failure as a given when setting out on achieving their goal - I’ve always been mindful that any hint of failure must be put out of mind for success to happen and the ‘F’ word to happily ‘F’ off.
And back it’s back to Stage Five, well Stage three really if you really need a run up to tackle your obsession once again. I get the ‘Learning from Failure’ analogy and as a nation we love someone winning against the odds - succeeding after a making a complete balls-up the first time round. Only too often, this becomes the norm and folk become Yo-Yo Slimmers, Yo-Yo Drinkers and worst of all Negative-Thinkers. My advice is always to look ahead with a blue-sky attitude - where the possibilities of life far outweigh the Kryptonite that’s attacking your inner resolve.
Only thinking about successfully completing the next 24hrs in your quest to become the ‘Real’ you. The one that isn’t distracted, behaviour obsessed, the one that feels calm and liberated.
And when you are free, you’ll look back and wonder why you ever got so addicted in the first place. Why Booze, Drugs or Food became such an emotional crutch and such a problem, you’ll never know. You might not even know you are a ‘Terminator’ - I didn’t. I set off on my journey just seeing if I could complete just one day, then a month and then a year. My obsession to do something has become an obsession not to do the same thing. A positive outcome from a dark time that’s now hidden in the vaults right at the back of my mind that’s now covered in a layer of positivity and achievements that mask any notion of a Stage Six Failure that continue to encourage me to help those who find themselves in a similar predicament.
So, let battle begin. Addiction or Compulsive Behaviour of any kind eats away at the soul. Each morning, we get up with the best of intentions, accidents happen, things go wrong, don’t go to plan or we plainly have a shitty day. Staying strong in these moments, well that’s the key to success as it’s easier to live life clean when things are going well.
And if any of the above rings true, well it’s time for a change. Time to be free of the ‘Burden of Addiction’ and time to be AWESOME.
A better life awaits – What’s stopping you? Please call me if you'd like to have a chat about your problems...
1,180 Marathons - 276 Ultras - 9 GWR - 16 MDS - 11,031 Days' Sober