Help! My manager is young and inexperienced!

How many of you have been in a position where your manager is younger than you? Or less experienced? If you’re in the workforce long enough, it’s bound to happen. And watch out, because your ego will come calling hard, convincing you they are just not good enough to hold that position.

In a recent Life’s Messy, Live Happy show, I received this question from a fan who had just joined a new team with a young manager. Read on to find out how you can reframe this situation into something that will catapult your growth no matter where you land.

 Q: What would you do if you were on a new team of 13 and two of your teammates ran the whole team? My manager is young and has limited experience. Therefore she allows the two employees to dictate what the team does. If the two don't like the idea it doesn't get implemented. Help!

Congratulations are in order for trying to get a lay of the land! It’s important when starting any new position to determine where the clear paths are to get work done and who in your new environment seems to have found some ways that work well.

You'll notice how careful I was to be very neutral with my language just now. As a new person, you will quickly pick up on the stories, the gripes and the grudges of the rest of the team. In reality, they are giving you an ego story about a young, weak manager and two sordid characters who are the only ones who can get ideas through and have the power to kill everything.

My first piece of advice to you is: Don't believe everything you hear. Check it out for yourself! Instead of what I traditionally say, which just ‘Stop judging, start helping,’ I want you to stop judging, and start studying. Study ways in which you can move your ideas and your work forward in your current reality and do it in a neutral way.

So if this were me and I noticed a couple of people on the team that were very skilled at getting their ideas through, I would put them – if they're willing – in the position of a teacher.

I would go to them and ask:

·      “What is it that you value and what do you look for in a good idea?”

·      “What are some of the ways you make decisions?”

·      “What advice would you have for me if I wanted to add a lot of value to this team?”

·      “Would you be open to helping me improve on the ideas I have to make them better and more sellable in this organization?”

See, these folks have figured out some paths forward. But you can't learn from them when you're judging them. And you can't learn from them or from a relationship with them when you're buying into the story of everybody else.

Now, I’m not saying you need to sell out or join a bully system or limit access to everyone else. I would just be a person who's able to travel between many lands and to be able to find out from people who seem more successful in getting ideas through what techniques work, what things they value, what you need to include in ideas to gain and garner their support. Then, I would go back and help others utilize the lessons that I've learned. I would become a wonderful translator and bridge builder for the rest of the team.

Make it your goal to become someone who steps away from all the judgment and replace it with relationships. You don't have to play politics. You can just form a large network of good relationships, which is, after all, one of the key characteristics of resilient people. By opening yourself up to study and learn from others without ego, it allows you to get really skillful in the way you deal in your current reality at work.

Do you have a question for me about workplace drama? Submit it here and I may answer it on an upcoming Life’s Messy, Live Happy show or on the No Ego podcast.