To help my anxiety I…

The theme for this years’ Mental Health Awareness Week, which starts on the 15th May, is anxiety. The Mental Health organisation invites us to start a conversation and encourage people to share their experiences along with ideas on how they manage it. So here goes. When (or if) you get to the bottom of this blog I courage you to share your perspective, and invite others to do so, as our collective thoughts may just help someone else.

This is written with someone really special in mind as we've been having conversations about anxiety recently. It is amazing, that the more you share your experiences, thoughts, and feelings, the more you that find others who are asking similar questions of themselves and working out what to do. And, importantly, you feel - well I certainly do - less alone.

Before you read on I'd like to point out that I am not a medical professional, and that the opinions here are my own (and not created by AI!). However, I will start with some references which are sourced and hyperlinked. ?

What is anxiety?

"Anxiety is a feeling of unease, such as worry or fear, that can be mild or severe. Everyone has feelings of anxiety at some point in their life". (NHS Inform )

Mind references anxiety and panic attacks in the following way: "anxiety is a natural human response when we feel that we are under threat. It can be experienced through our thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations".

As someone that recently discovered, or rather admitted, that I often feel anxious, reading these definitions gives me some comfort as it is a natural human response and everyone has those feelings at some point. If you have never had this feeling, that’s brilliant. Long may that continue and please do share your secret!

There are many different forms of anxiety and I have observed friends, family and colleagues struggle with it. Some have found it so debilitating that they have been unable to get out of bed, or worse the house, and managing simple day-to-day tasks is overwhelming. Others have experienced it during a particular period in their life and have luckily found ways to move beyond this.

Why have a conversation about it now?

While society in general is becoming a lot more open in discussing mental health, there is always more that can be done. Anxiety isn’t something new – it’s existed for a long time – decades ago people just didn’t talk about it, partly because they didn’t know how to explain it, or they didn’t want to be seen as different.

With technological advances, in particular the internet and social media, we have more information and stories being shared about mental health than we would have dared imagine previously. There is a lot of misinformation out there, and people trust stories from people and sources that they know. The more we each share our stories, the more people will feel comfortable sharing theirs and so on.

How does my anxiety manifest itself?

I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on this. The answer is many ways and I will net them down to three which I can experience all in one go, or separately:

1.???Chest pains

2.???Inability to sleep, or stay asleep

3.???Thoughts of inadequacy and catastrophising

It probably all comes down to me setting high expectations of myself which then sets me up with a fear of failure, or of letting others down. My initial response is to pull away to avoid bringing others down with me, however, the adage “a problem shared is a problem halved” is a great thing to remember.

Good news is that I have been working on giving myself a break and being kind to myself more often to take the pressure off. Ultimately I am my own worst enemy at times so I find it helpful to remind myself of something a friend told me a couple of years ago, “we are all perfectly imperfect”.

What works for me?

I’ve tried a lot of things. ?Some activities I do regularly, others less often. There are options that I feel don’t work for me right now and I may come back to them at another point in my life. The key thing is to have more than one thing in your toolbox to try. I’ve noticed that things that used to work for me a couple of years ago, no longer do. I am exploring new things. Last weekend I tried my first open water swim in a lake. I’m a good swimmer (in a pool) and less so with a wetsuit on so will need to work at getting more confident as it’s really refreshing. My husband and I are supposed to be playing golf when the weather gets better. While I can hit a ball at a golf range (well, most of the time anyway), getting around a whole nine holes is something completely different!

I find that getting my brain to focus on something else and distract it from the thoughts and feelings that can easily spiral is my favourite go to.

Here are my top three go tos:

1.???Box-breathing (to slow my heart rate down, and helps me to get back to sleep) while thinking of a happy place or something that makes me smile or laugh

2.???Going for a walk with my dog of a run to clear my head (fresh air and daylight is good)

3.???Doing something with/for someone else (do something positive)

On point three I really recommend volunteering and getting involved in community projects. Later this month I’m working with some wonderful colleagues to review some CVs and provide feedback to help other women to progress their careers. This is all part of the Big Help Out aligned to the Coronation of King Charles III. What will you/can you do?

So, over to you. What works for you and why? Who else would you like to hear from – tag them in!

#ToHelpMyAnxiety

#BeKindToYourself

#MentalHealthAwarenessWeek2023