Help – Men are Dying Daily!!!
Just say – “I?hear?You Brother!!!”
There is a silent killer ravaging the male population today, even though it is very obvious, it can and has been very deceitful. Men are falling daily on their swords from loneliness, isolation, depression, rejection, and feeling imprisoned in their own bodies and homes.
Men are committing slow suicide daily because they feel trapped, inadequate, and powerless leading to frustration and serious cases of depression and death at an alarming rate. Many men belief they are alone and have nobody and nowhere to turn to.
For instance, few weeks ago, I had a call from a very dear friend and after the usual pleasantries, all it took was a simple question of " bro, seriously, tell me how?you?are" The response was unexpected, shocking, and was so much in your face because my friend and I unanimously started crying. No, I didn't say sobbing, we were both crying inconsolably. After about 20 minutes and having gained our composures, we started exchanging notes, stories, issues, fears, and the feeling of being inadequate and powerless.
We spoke for about 75 minutes and at the end, even though we didn't give each other a hug, some money, or anything. But what we gave each other was priceless because we gave each other time, and above all, audience. The one thing that most men don't have, tell themselves that they don't want or need, yet the one thing they cry for most is someone, another man who can see them and?hear?them without saying a word, looking away, or be judgemental.
Unfortunately,?most men think it is a burden, waste of time, or that they are inadequate to talk to other men, some even think they don't have anything to give, so why bother listening to fellow men. The feeling of shame and guilt is also stopping most men from approaching other men with the issues in their lives. But the truth is we are all we have, nobody can understand a man like another man because irrespective of your status in life, men’s issues are exactly the same just in various degrees.
It is not a burden and there is no shame in sharing your thoughts, feelings, and fear with another man, but more than that,?you?don't have to have it all together in your life in order to help, to listen, and to be there just for that next brother. Just let him know that?you?can see him?and that?you?also heard him.
Many people think the issue with men is just lack of money, not enough money, or even mismanagement of money. While these are not incorrect, they are however incomplete. The issues that men are facing today goes way bigger than just money or lack thereof, it includes:
·???????Lack of self-identity and worth. Most men recognise their identity in what they do rather in who they are. Hence, when men lose their jobs, title, position, and influence, they also lose themselves.
·???????Money answers to all things and the inability of most men to generate enough money to meet all their needs makes them feel inadequate, shame and even as failures.
·???????Stress is killing men. The streets are filled with dead men walking because for most men, the home front is hostile, lacks empathy, understanding, respect, and they feel unappreciated. Many men are silently dying daily from one form of domestic abuse or another because not all domestic abuse is physical.?
·???????Social stigmatisation is stopping many men from seeking professional help and support because they believe it is a sign of weakness especially when most professional counsellors are women. There is a national ratio of five female counsellors compare to one male counsellor available.
I personally do not have a solution to these problems but all I can give is what I gave and received from my friend, my time, my ears, my empathy, and above all, my reassurance that my friend is not alone in the situation.
But if we work and walk together, holding each other accountable, being responsible to each other, being available for each other, not being judgemental of each other, and most importantly, being committed to seeking, reaching out, and making ourselves available to hear other men, these may just be the beginning of the solution.
For instance, when the “Me too” movement started, it did not help every girl or woman who had or is suffering from the cruelty of men, but it gave women in general a voice, a way out, an avenue to breathe, but most importantly that they are not alone, not going crazy, imagining things, and the assurance that it was not their fault.
Men today need help, they may not say it, deny it, reject even the notion, but silently men are dying from the inside out and we all need other men to see it, hear it, feel it, and hopefully do something about it.
Today, be that your brother’s keeper before it is too late. Make it a priority to reach down your contact list and call that your friend, colleague, brother, father, son, uncle, neighbour, every and any man in your life and contact and just tell them: ?– “I hear you brother.”