Help! I've been promoted to lead my peers.

Stepping up from managing one or two direct reports to leading an entire team is one of the toughest hurdles in a career. And if it involves being promoted above your peers, few things can feel more of a double-edged sword - the joy of promotion coupled with the fear they may not accept you. Are you feeling sick yet?

Being expected to turn around and manage your former peers can set your inner critic rubbing its gnarly little hands. “MMMmm, not capable are you. Throw it in your face they shall” (I’m assuming your inner critic sounds like Evil Yoda but do select your villain of choice). ?

First and foremost, it brings that fear they won’t accept you and don’t see you in that light. That can feel overwhelming, but if your company saw leadership potential in you, it’s possible your peers did too. What certainly is true is there has been a change in team dynamics.

Own the change, don’t ignore the honking great big elephant turning cartwheels in the room. ?Acknowledge to everyone that the change may feel strange to begin with, that it certainly feels strange to you. Be gracious. Ask for support and understanding while you find your feet.

And those feet – they may be chafing in their new shoes. That’s OK because the discomfort is a reminder to manage yourself differently. You’re going to know stuff that you didn’t know before. Big ticket stuff like restructures or headcount reductions that you want to turn round and talk to your peers about except, oh, now you can’t… Bigger teams bring bigger pressure and you will need support. Don’t be lonely. Identify your new peers, reach out for a coffee and build relationships.

Next, remember your advantage. You already know the team pain points. Hold 121s to ask everyone's views on challenges and opportunities. Show them your intent to help and support. Play back what you have learnt so they know you are listening.

Now act. Tell everyone what you plan to do and do it. What stakeholders you are involving, what progress you are making, what challenges you are encountering. Keep communicating. Let them see you are working in their best interests. And forgive me for stating the bleedin’ obvious, but get all admin-y, HR-y stuff done immediately without grumbling you’re “too busy for that stuff”.? That’s disrespectful. You’re better than that.

Should Evil Yoda's predictions come true and you do meet hostility from a peer, perhaps who'd also wanted the role, it might feel personal but remember 1) the company made the decision, not you and 2) you can't control their feelings. Grit your teeth. Stay calm and respectful, listen without judgement or interruption, let them get any negativity off their chest. Resist saying "I understand how you feel" - often a red rag to an already irritated bull - because you're not them, so you don't. Ask what they'll need from you to work best together.??

Finally, and for many people this is squeaky bum time, like it or not, you are now the boss, not everyone’s best buddy. Recognise boundaries. Do team drinks, but have a civilised glass then leave, don’t end up in a karaoke bar at 3am screeching "I got the power!" along to Snap. Yes, sometimes your former peers might now go for lunch without inviting you and that might feel like rejection. Recognise you don’t necessarily want to have lunch with your boss either, so this is a positive sign your team are also respecting healthy boundaries and most importantly, respecting you. ?

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Struggling with the step up to managing a big team? DM me and let's have a chat.