Help I have corona! Lessons that helped me while I was sick

Lesson 1: How I chose not to suffer

I had corona. I lay on the hospital bed full of emotions and thoughts. I was angry and sad. Outside of my window, I saw people demonstrating against the government measures to slow down the outbreak. Protesters thought that government was overreacting, that the disease was nothing serious. The noise of the demonstrators made me even angrier. How could they say something like that? How could they claim that the virus was not serious when the hospital was full of sick people?

Yet, deep down I knew that anger and negative emotions were not going to help me. In fact, they were probably making me even weaker. My body had to deal with the virus already. It was not wise to force it to deal with the negativity as well.

I realised that I needed to help my body to fight against the virus. I was thinking: "Okay, what do you teach to your clients?" And I had to laugh. 

I have always helped my clients to deal with their emotions. I teach them how to handle their thoughts, how not to let yourself to be affected by the emotions of other people. And now I had to start coaching myself, in the hospital bed! That was all I could do. I couldn’t make the virus disappear. Even doctors couldn’t do much. There is no pill against it, all the doctors could do was to give me oxygen.

So, all I could do was to support my body as much as I could to get better.

Of course, doctors and nurses were very kind and helpful. They motivated me, but when they left the room, I was alone again and knew that I had to do it by myself.

What I teach to my clients is how to get the emotions under control.

First I asked: whose emotions were they? That’s right they were the demonstrators’ emotions and not mine. It’s important to understand that we cannot do much about what other people feel, do or think. 

I asked myself: “Should I let their emotions into my circle?” They only correct answer to this question is: “No!”

That’s what I teach: don’t make things personal. When you master this art, you have freedom. I needed this freedom. I had to empty my head from negative thoughts. I needed some space and energy. 

If you practice it, you feel how it gives you peace of mind. It’s not easy to get there, because no one likes criticism and it’s hard not to take things personally. But once you have mastered it, it changes your life for the better. 

The same thing was with all the Facebook and LinkedIn messages that I scrolled through lying in the bed. So many posts about how lonely or angry people were because they couldn’t visit their parents. Again I was bombarded with emotions.

I didn’t even know if it was anger, sadness or jealousy or a mix of all of them that I felt.

Because others, they had to wait until the end of the quarantine to see their family, but I can never see my family again.  

It was a painful moment for me, but surely something you can relate to. You have probably sat in the traffic and seen how a driver makes dangerous manoeuvre putting you in danger? Or stood in a long queue looking at the barista who seems to be painfully slow? In all the situations we have exactly two choices:

1. A choice to suffer

or

2. A choice not to suffer

I can look at these messages, breath, and be grateful that I’m still alive, or I can let the emotions to take over, I can get angry at other people, be jealous or sad and suffer. 

So, it’s really good to take a closer look at your everyday behaviour. Notice the moments that rise emotions in you and make the choice of how you respond. First, you make a habit out of your response, then the habits grow to behaviours, and in the end, you’ll change your personality.

Now, you can be a bit confused. How can I make these choices if I already feel the emotions?

Here are some choices I made, that helped me in difficult situations

1) Accept

Yes, it’s not fair that I don’t have family and many others have. But I have chosen to accept and that frees me from suffering. I try my best to go with the flow, take the path with least resistance and effort. I accept and see things as they really are and don’t force situations and people to change, I cultivate understanding and love within me. I suffer less when I have an understanding of myself and others.

2) Feel grateful

Instead of looking at what is lacking in my life, I practice the attitude of gratitude. I look at what I have, and I am thankful. Even when I had corona, and woke up in the hospital bed, I smiled first thing in the morning. I took 3-5 deep breaths and felt blessed to be alive and ready for the day ahead.

3) Speak good words

Yes, in difficult situations it’s tempting to snap. I felt it strongly when I saw the demonstrators outside. But be aware of the fact that you are the first receiver of your thoughts and speech. If my words are unkind, then my heart is also unkind. If I speak lovingly and gently, then my heart is also nourished in such kind and loving words. So even if I felt the urge to reply to some comments in a hurtful way, I stopped myself, because that would just make me feel worse and hurt other people too. To help you with that, I advise you to write down all the negative words you use. Remove them from your vocabulary, and come up with new loving words that you can use every day. 

4) Walk the talk

It’s easy to forget that it’s not enough to know how to grow, you have to also apply the techniques and teachings to your everyday life to get results. 

Think about me lying on the hospital bed fighting with my emotions. It’s not enough that I know how to deal with my emotions. I really needed to listen to my own teachings and apply them into my situation.

5) Share wisdom not suffering

Our days are all different. Sometimes bad things happen and sometimes seemingly nothing bad has happened, yet our capacity is low, we feel we don’t have so much energy, we suffer. 

So it’s good to check in with your body and mind every day. I meditate longer, breath deeply and take care of my pain. I try not to let the suffering to defeat me or worse- spill the suffering to others. Life is too short for suffering. 

If my capacity is high, I make sure to share it with everyone I meet. Even if it’s just a smile or nod of kindness.

Remember, transformations start with small things. If you choose not to suffer, your life quality improves tremendously.

Your happiness doesn’t depend upon other people’s emotions or about the world around you.

Start today. Make a conscious choice not to suffer and see how it changes your life. How all of a sudden you start to live your life to the fullest.