Hello Dolly | Chapter 3 | The Conclusion or is it?

Hello Dolly | The woman with the Red Bindi

Chapter 3.

The world feels like a battlefield when ‘that day’ of the month arrives. The blood-stained feeling with your body tissues suddenly coagulating into an imaginary black hole, gives you tremors. Yet, like all ‘bangali’ women, I drape my ‘churidar’ as my armour. With the red ‘bindi’ on my forehead, I take my first step to take on the world. My name is Shyamoli Mukherjee and I have a strong affinity towards the same gender.

I was on my periods on that thunder cladded night when You came to visit me in the evening. I know I had asked for a favour but you did not hesitate. The sanitary pads were on the table and I lost track of time. The hidden pot of ‘marijuana’ and a few ‘drags’ later, I did not know whether it was you or it was me but our lips were close. I can never forget the moment we shared because that was the last time we met.

Things were different after that night. It has been 7 months and I still stare at you. I look at you from my ‘verandah’ with ‘Baba’ while having tea. ‘luchi torkari’ on the morning of every Sunday. On that night I realized that I was in love with you. On that night you realized that Your reality is different from mine.

I never tried to cross your path. I never tried to intervene in your days of celebration. I understand the feelings of a woman by being a woman. If the mind of a man is an ocean then ours is a galaxy. It is quite normal to get lost in our paradigm because of the mammoth mind space. Maybe you are lost. Maybe you are not. All I know that It has been months since I felt your skin on mine.

Life is a black jar full of sweets. You get ‘rosogolla’ sometimes its ‘Sondesh’ and sometimes ‘borfi’.

You should never belittle yourself for the sweet in your hand by comparing it with the possession of others. I know that you are happy but I am happier. It took me months to realise that we can never force love down your throat. It is a feeling that you are having for Ayan. It is a feeling that I am having for you. Most importantly, we should always be proud of our individuality. I know the path, if you had chosen, with me would have been difficult. I realise it. I know what is important. It is and it will always be my happiness.

Human beings are like those sweets in that black jar.

I am yet to find my ‘rosogolla’ but I am not going to compare with your possession. At the end of the day what matters is my happiness. For my happiness, I have to be selfish about myself. Yes, I am now. Just like you. In a sweet, humanly kind of away. After all, Love is all about finding your peace and solace in one single person. I found mine in me. I shall always be grateful to you about it.

I will wait for the day when we will meet again. The day I will summon you as “Hello Dolly’. The story of Shyamoli does not end here. The chapter of Dolly does. Or is it?

By Dr.Arindam Ballav.

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