Issue 2 | Emotionally Flat-lining

Hello Conscious Human

Hi! I am Manuela, Transformation & Authenticity Coach, committed to empowering individuals and entrepreneurs create a positive impact in their world?- not so easy to find the right words to express what I am all about. ??

Why Authenticity Coach, you may ask. What does it even mean to be authentic? And why is it important anyway, as in, why would anyone want that?

So, in this issue, I want to share my views on authenticity. And I am very curious if this resonates with you at all.

Then, I'll share an insight on what I call "the feminine way of creating from possibility".

And finally, I will talk about stress, and in particular, emotional stress. Check out the announcement section on this topic.

By the way, how has the energy in January been for you? I heard from quite a few people that they felt a pull to “step into their power”. Are you feeling this, too????

And if not, what's going on for you right now? Are you present to whatever it is??

Emotionally flat-lining

As a so-called neurodivergent, or more specifically, a highly sensitive person (HSP) I feel something all the time. I feel the mood of the people I interact with, I can tap into the collective energy of the environment around me, I notice the subtle noises or movements in the background, and I am usually busy interpreting all the signals my body is sending me throughout the day. Sounds overwhelming? Well, I do see it as a gift but I had to learn to balance myself (and still am).???

And it wasn’t always like that. In fact, most of my early life I was pretty numb to everything. I was so numb I was able to convince myself that I didn’t care about anything and anyone. It was my general way of being and a way to survive. You could say, my heart was closed and in a way, I was completely disconnected to who I truly was. Of course, I had emotions, but I had a very logical way of dealing with them. Imagine them as frequencies with very low sine curves.?

Why am I sharing this? Because I believe there are many who are “unawaken” to the fact that they are in survival mode. And some are even emotionally “flat-lining”. Like I had reached a point in my life where I thought to myself, this is it? This is what life is all about? I know now it’s not.

Life is incredibly rich and abundant and most of us are barely tapping into it.

Being authentic

So what does it mean to be authentic?

To most it means to be who you are without pretence. Ok, but who are you? Not an easy question to answer, right?

What if I told you that who you are is NOT your identity, NOT your personality, NOT your values, NOT your mind, and NOT your emotions?

Hmm, ok. Then, if I am NOT my identity, thoughts or emotions, then who am I? This is an intriguing question, isn't it?

It's a question I have been in an inquiry about for many years now. What I can tell you is that the question cannot be answered with our mind nor in words. It is more of an inner knowing. When you connect with who you are, you just know.?

And so, this is why I believe that in order to connect with who we are, we need to remove who we are not. Because when you remove everything you are not, all that is left is YOU. ??

That said, if you were to remove everything, you would cease to exist as a human being and all there would be left is love and light, and maybe some sort of soul blueprint. ?? So probably we won't reach complete authenticity and that's not the goal.

It is about recognising that who we think we are is not who we really are. That our identity is in fact a construct that we ourselves built over time, made up of our past experiences and decisions, and is therefore changeable rather than fixed.

You are not the one "who always struggles in life", who "fails in every relationship", who "never gets the credit she deserves", or who "doesn't get what she wants". These are constructs, belief systems, behavioural patterns, programming etc. I think everyone would agree with me on this.

The moment we recognise that our identity is not fixed, we have a choice about who we are and how to act in any given moment, despite the fact that we often feel we have none.

Recognising ourselves beyond our identity, thoughts and emotions - a path towards authenticity - is incredibly empowering and freeing.

Now, if I can completely choose who I am - apart from the fact that I will always be a small human of 1,57m (5ft2) ?? - I am challenged with all the possibilities this opens up for me. How do I choose?

Well, it is said that our soul speaks to us through our heart and body. This is our heart beat, our gut feel, our intuition. We typically know when we are in alignment with our true or higher self, and when we are not.

And so for me, authenticity is intrinsically linked to alignment. The more authentic I become (by removing who I am not), the more aligned I will be.

And when we are in alignment with our true self, we have a sense of fulfillment, peace, and joy.

And THAT is what I want for you all!

The Feminine Way of Creating from Possibility

This week I got really conscious about the difference between “taking action from a plan” (masculine) vs “taking action from a possibility” (feminine).?

I love making sh*t happen and as most of us, we were taught to set an objective, create a plan and then action the plan, right??

To use the example of making an event happen:?

In the past, I would see myself as the sole CREATOR. I would define an event first, its content, the target audience, etc. and then go ahead choose the date, then arrange everything else, the space, collaborators, the marketing, the volunteers and so on until the date arrives to actually run the event.?

In contrast, what I have noticed myself starting to do and what some are already doing is to create an event out of possibility.?

They may start by setting an intention to serve. Then out of nowhere, someone may offer the perfect space, and so that sets the date. They then start to have conversations with potential collaborators and participants, which defines and refines the content and pricing structure. More individuals show up to take care of additional tasks. And somehow everything falls into place as the event is being CO-CREATED.?

Now, there is a lot of unknown along the way and this takes a good level of trust, especially when we are not used to it.?

But I’ve come to believe, partially through my own experience, that when we are in alignment with ourselves, and when we are willing to create space and tap into the possibilities, then we are not alone in making it happen, but we become enablers and co-creators of what wants to happen through us rather than by us.

Stress, stress, stress

And finally, I want to briefly talk about stress because I hear it a lot. Everyone seems to be stressed.?

I personally feel it is helpful to differentiate between physical, chemical, mental and emotional stress, each comes with a different approach.

Today, I want to talk about emotional stress because most of us are very mind-driven and we forget that our bodies hold the key to improved wellbeing. ?

Now, I could probably write a whole book about stress but since this is a newsletter, let me pick just a few aspects: ?

1. An emotion or feeling is often triggered by a thought (mental stress). If you can catch the thought you had when you started feeling in a certain way, you can change the thought to transform the emotion.???

2. Emotions are our most sophisticated guidance system. It tells us where to go, and where not to go. It tells us what’s good for us, and what’s not good for us.?

That said, our guidance system can be out of balance because of trapped emotions and past trauma. Or because we are not listening. For some reason, we in the west have been taught that emotions are bad, and that time will make them go away.??

Fact is, our bodies remember ALL of our conscious and unconscious experiences no matter how far back in time. (“The Body Keeps The Score”, Bessel van der Kolk M.D.)

Unhealed emotions remain dormant until there is a trigger that brings them back. (Dr Gabor Maté)?Some say, we get triggered a thousand times a day. ??

You know the saying, God only gives us what we can handle? Well, our body only deals with emotions it can handle. It won’t bring up the entire emotion unless it feels safe to do so.?

And so, if we push ourselves to “Be positive!” or “Feel the fear and do it anyway!” before we have processed any underlying emotions, we may actually re-traumatise our body.?

Transformational coaching isn’t about setting goals and creating a strategy to get there. It’s about uncovering and removing what’s in the way, as without it we would have already got there. Rather than pushing us to take action, we gently remove all blockers until we are naturally pulled into action.

• Deep dive into how trapped emotion may manifest in our bodies, https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/emotions-trapped-in-the-body
• 3mins video on Understanding TRAUMA: Healing the Psychic WOUND in an interview with Dr. Gabor Maté, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uj5_XV2FsfY?

• Rebalancing emotional stress, 13 February - I am going to introduce a number of simple techniques that I personally find most effective in dealing with emotional stress. It'll be in the form of a quick 20mins online workshop. Details on how to join here https://www.manuela-kytir.com/events
• And yes, my new website is now live! ??

Did you enjoy this Issue? Leave me a comment or send me a message. I love to hear from you!

Un Abrazo!