These Heels Are Made for Walking

Women in Leadership

So what is the real problem? And can you even call it a problem? After all, women are in general better educated, have more social skills, are emphatic, and are good at seeing the big picture. Occasionally however all that can work against them. Sometimes women don’t find the right balance for using their skills.

Aristotle famously developed a system of virtues and observed how, in the extreme, those virtues can become completely counter-productive. For example, empathy is a desirable trait, but when you get lost in the feelings of the other person and subjugate your original intent, then it is time to check that pattern of behaviour. The secret is to find the right balance.

Back to the beginning.... women have everything needed to be successful leaders. But there are other problems that get in the way. Some women are afraid to be more successful than their partner. There is a concern among some that being more successful than their partner can cause the partner to feel less confident as a professional and provider. Women worry that it could even cause the relationship to fail. This can be a strong internal block for some women and can hold them back from reaching higher and achieving more. Some people observe that power makes men look sexy while making women appear overly assertive and thus unattractive as a mate. Do women really prefer to follow the stereotype of looking like a helpless Little Red Riding Hood? Of course most women know that they can do better and do not have to wait until the end to be smarter than the wolf, but the sanctions from their partner and other critical women can be very demotivating. So, the fear of making more money or being applauded as a successful professional stops some women from realizing their full potential.

Another problem is the belief that responsibility creates a burden they may not be able to handle. Women feel personally responsible when something goes wrong. It is not the “it” that goes wrong.... but it is “them”. “I, Maria, made a mistake” with the result being that I appear incompetent. John, her male counterpart, would probably blame circumstances, the market, or other forces “outside his control”, but Maria blames herself. Even though there are many other possible reasons for a particular failure, a woman will make it her fault...sound familiar, dear ladies?

I recently did some research with the help of a questionnaire and asked 50 women some pointed questions about being a professional in the workplace. The results were revealing. According to these women, characteristics needed to be a successful leader included “investing in people”. Popular wisdom tells us the most men would not have answered that way. Yes, maybe they would have agreed that “demonstrating passion and dedication” are essential but honestly and frankly spoken for a different purpose. In John’s case, the passion would be for John’s goals primarily. Whereas in Maria’s case, she takes a more holistic view. I don’t mean to over-generalize, but research bears out these tendencies.

Interesting also from my questionnaire was that the women interviewed agreed that leadership can be taught and learned. So I ask, where are the millions of women who should be storming leadership trainig events to become leaders? Aren′t they natural leaders anyway, as mothers, in partnerships, with their friends, in the every day life? I believe this can easily be carried over into a business context.

Our interviewees were also strong believers of actively pursuing learning and professional growth opportunities. That confirms the popular picture that women want to improve themselves, to achieve another diploma, attend another lecture, or read another book to learn more about some topic. Men on the other hand tend to take it easier...most just go about their business, without the burning drive to better themselves. Of course, what we can also conclude from this trait in women is possibly a profund feeling of not being good enough, smart enough, or experienced enough. Where does that come from? Is it the process of socialization, receiving the message that little girls are not equal to little boys? This is clearly an ideology from yesterday but it is a pattern to be aware of because it stems from the belief that there is some genetic command implying that the woman is responsible for keeping the family together and for developing people. To be sure, some women often take on a role of being responsible for taking care of the atmosphere in which things can happen, for creating an enabling space for growth and this can become more important to them than achieving results and working on a single personal target or goal.

A goal like their career, for example? For some it’s uncomfortable to focus on a “selfish” end, a single, individual, personal only-belonging-to-them goal. So, I ask, what terrible thing will happen if they break out of these stereotypes? What are the sanctions they will have to expect? They might get labled with terms like bitch, seductress, or overly aggressive. They need to stop before falling into any of these role traps. It would be worth analyzing these role models that can hold women back. (And good coaching can help!)

Men tend not to get caught in the trap of role models. Most don’t fall into the role of “I want to please my mother” and freely and gladly aspire to being successful as superman, the tough fighter and the fearless hero.

But we have arrived at a time of digitalization and a world of greater possibilities. It is time to find a new mindset, new leadership and management styles for new forms of organizations. Research shows that women are well educated and flexible, with a comprehensive view of the big picture. Female leaders and managers can improve an organization’s ability to innovate, collaborate and raise performance levels.

So, let’s get rid of worn-out beliefs that are counter-productive. Make your strengths visible to you and to others! Work smarter not harder! If you think you have untapped potential to do greater things with your professional life, we can help you!