Heeding Life's Calls: Using the 'Call and Response' Method to Shape Your Story

Every person's story is a series of calls and responses, each shaping the chapters of their life. The manner in which we make those choices either leads to a deliberate and aligned life... or it doesn't.

And while we don't always get to choose what calls are made to us, we always get to choose our responding actions.

As I've learned more about storytelling, what I've increasingly found is that the elements of a good story are not just for books. They are essential blueprints for leading a deliberate and aligned life. One of the key messages: we can craft our narrative.

So then the question becomes, in one of the lamest sentences I've ever written, is how do we pen a bestseller? (Fkn shoot me).

Choosing 'Call and Response'

There's a lot to talk about here, but for the sake of argument, let's just focus on one area: plot structure.

Novelist George Saunders, in "A Swim in a Pond in a Rain", beautifully defines the narrative principle of structure across a story as 'call and response'. Every story and every action within that story poses a question and then journeys with its characters towards an answer by the actions they choose (or don't).

Great stories are intentional about what 'calls' are responded to, and the distance between any 'call' and subsequent 'response' creates tension that either encourages the reader to keep reading or, left unanswered for too long, drives the reader into the arms of some other tale, sometimes for better, sometimes for worse.

To stay with the metaphor, life, like a story, often throws us questions:

• What's your purpose?
• Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
• What will I do before breakfast this morning? (And why is the answer, lie in bed for 5 more minutes?)

How we respond to each 'call', in the moment and over the years, crafts our ultimate narrative. Applying this principle of call and response across the time frame of our lives means the long-term call (your life’s purpose), the medium-term call (your 5-year plan), and the short-term calls (daily decisions and actions) all have an impact.

If you're forever chasing the short-term, like answering endless phone calls and texts, scrolling through the 'gram, and never intentionally choosing your next action without a larger plan, you'll end up far from your intended story. Which is a major bummer.

To bring this back to storytelling, the main characters in a great novel do not randomly drift without consequences; they’re on a quest, facing challenges, all of which serve the ultimate purpose of their transformation into something better or more. (See the good superhero movies for details, so probably Marvel and practically nothing from DC. Sigh).

But for us in the real world, it is incredibly easy to become distracted, even when we know our lives deserve the same deliberate intention. So how do we become better at practicing 'main protagonist energy'? Allow me if you will, dear reader, to lay out a few options:

Begin a Quest for Purpose

A character without a quest is a story without a soul. Our purpose, our 'why,' and our values add direction to our narrative. They become the North Star that guide you. And as I have had to learn time and time again, this quest for purpose is not a one-time discovery but an evolving journey. It will change and it should because what is important to us now will not be 1:1 for what is important to us in 5 years from now.

As we grow, learn, and experience, our purpose and values may shift, refine, or even transform completely. But at every life stage, they remain the driving force behind our story because our lives are filled with countless decisions, we are inundated daily with choices, ranging from the mundane to the critical. This doesn't imply rigidity but rather a conscious alignment of our daily decisions with our broader goals and purpose.

Instead of being swayed by every gust of wind or distracted by every shiny object, our purpose and our values add intentionality and direction to our actions by helping us to choose the responses that ultimately align with the better story we wish to tell.

The Value of Conflict

In literature, conflict drives the narrative. It introduces tension, propels the protagonist into action, and makes the story worth reading.

Our personal stories are no different. Every challenge we face, be it a heartbreak, a career setback, or a personal dilemma, adds depth to our narrative. Instead of shunning these challenges, embracing them can lead to profound growth. Haz Potz isn't interesting if Lord Voldy isn't around. Without Smaug ("The Unassessably Wealthy"), Bilbo stays at home in his cozy nook, boring as all get out. If Nero au Augustus doesn't make the worst mistake of executing someone undeserving, we don't get one of the greatest sci-fi series and several of its greatest characters (shout out to my boy, Pax au Telemanus).

Similarly, our personal challenges, when confronted, can lead to some of our life's most transformative chapters. Drawing from McKee's "Story", drama arises from conflict and its resolution.

In life, our conflicts are our challenges. Avoiding them creates a dull, tension-less plot.

Facing them?

That's where the growth, and consequently, the gripping narrative emerges.

Practice Regular Reflection

To ensure our narrative stays on course, moments of reflection are crucial. While I can't say I do this as often as I like (maybe like every other day?), regular feedback from myself to myself has absolutely been essential in revealing the patterns of my own mind and allowing me to course correct when I have consistently been choosing less than ideal outcomes.

Taking time to introspect, evaluate our choices, and realign with our purpose can be the difference between a story that meanders aimlessly and one that moves with purpose and passion. These moments of reflection act as checkpoints, ensuring that we're not just living but living in alignment with our desired narrative.

Note: If you're looking to start your own reflection/journaling practice, the daily "Win-Challenge-Lessons Learned" framework is consistently the lightweight version I always return to and advocate for if you're just starting out or returning after a long absence. It is also immensely satisfying/revealing to look over those at the end of the week/month/year to see what insight emerge.

Find Empowerment Through Story:

You might be thinking: "Do you mean to say that my choices have consequences that I might have to live with?" First of all, how dare you. Secondly, how obvious. Finally, seriously?!?!?!"

Yes. I agree. And I do say all of those things.

And while it can be initially terrifying, ultimately, understanding our life as a story is an empowering perspective. Because we do have agency over our narrative. We can always choose a better (or at least less awful) story in the responses we make to every call, big and small.

While we can't control every event, we control our reactions, our choices, and our interpretations. We can introduce plot twists by straying from our previous patterns, introduce new characters or deepen relationships with old ones, and even change the setting in which our stories happen.

And with all of this agency over our responses comes the potential for growth, transformation, and a satisfying resolution. Writing this as much for myself as for anyone reading but you deserve a life story worth telling. You earn that great story in the calls you respond to. Choose wisely.

#Story #Storytelling #LifeOnPurpose #Writing