Hedonistic Choices

By Samrat Sinha (Submitted this for Write India Contest @Ravinder Singh's prompt)

4.00 AM. 14th February 2014 (Valentine’s Day)

A black Toyota Innova with tinted glasses made its way through the dense fog on National Highway-8. The driver craned his neck and peered hard on the road ahead. Visibility was down to a few meters and despite the headlights being on high-beam, he had to switch on the fog lights to keep going. Though not much traffic was on the road at that hour but still the brisk speed of the vehicle was unwarranted in such a haze. The driver seemed to be in a great hurry, apparently on his way to Jaipur. Suddenly, on sighting a signboard he abruptly swerved the Innova to his left and descended on the narrow dirt road below. Visibility was worse on that constricted path which was lined with thickets and trees on both sides. But still he persisted with the drive and soon disappeared into the misty glade. Somewhere deep into the woods he stopped. A large package got unloaded or rather dumped on the clearing nearby...

5.45 AM. 9th February 2014

It was still dawn when I stepped out of the cab and walked towards the entry gate of the Delhi airport. The early morning February air was pleasantly cold. I was travelling to Bengaluru to attend a college friend's wedding. It had been four years since we graduated from the same college. This wedding was also going to be a reunion of our batchmates. But what I didn't know was that the reunion would begin much ahead of time; right in the queue in front of the airline counter. I was almost sure it was she. Same height! Same long hair! Same complexion! Curiosity had my eyes glued to her. And then about 60-odd seconds later, when she turned, she proved me right. My ex-girlfriend stood two places ahead of me in that queue. We had never met after the college farewell. She didn’t notice my presence and my thoughts got mired in a quandary when I realized I had nothing to say to her anymore. She seemed lost in her own world for a while, and then she got busy chatting on the phone. I wondered who she could be talking to so early in the morning. Surely it could not be her parents as I knew that she didn’t share a very loving relationship with them. The thought of her parents took me away to a past, not too distant though. Involuntarily my right hand reached into my trouser pocket and fished out a key chain with a transparent globe fob. On closer inspection one could see that the fob contained some liquid substance at the epicenter which floated on a rim of glycerin jelly. I stared at the liquid for some time and whispered to myself, “these were your tears but now they are mine.”

11AM. 14th February (St. Valentine’s Day) 2009

Suhani was getting restless as she stood by the college gate. It was a good two hours she had been waiting for Karan to come in. Normally, he used to reach the campus by 9AM but today there was no sign of him. “Is he trying to avoid her? Does he know that she’ll propose to him today?” she thought nervously.

19th December 2008

Karan was the quintessential quiet type. In the class or outside he barely spoke to anyone. With the opposite sex, he was all the more aloof. Suhani was diametrically opposite to what Karan was. She loved to interact with people and instinctively hogged the limelight. She was a natural leader and assumed leadership roles in any group activity or discussion that played out as a part of the B-School curriculum. Being stunningly beautiful, further accentuated her pole position in the college. She was barely aware of Karan’s presence in the class till the time she literally locked horns with him in a group debate. It was the end of the first semester and just before the college closed for Christmas holidays. The annual “Biz Debate Fest” was a matter of great pride for all the B-School students. There were preliminary rounds in the round robin format where ten teams had to compete against each team individually. In the semis, the top four teams had to play a knock-out round. The top two finalists engaged in the grand bout where the winner took all. Each team comprised of six members and the smartest ones made the cut into any of the ten teams. Suhani’s group was cruising along right from the prelims and before any one could say pause, her team was already in the semi-finals. They had beaten all the other teams on their way to the semis. Even Karan’s team was defeated badly by Suhani’s team in the league stages. She had not noticed him in that round but was it because Karan was not present that day?

As destiny would have it, Karan’s team was ranked third in the league tables after the round robin got over. So, Suhani and Karan did not have a faceoff in the semis. Team one reached the finals by defeating team four and team three made it by quashing a belligerent team two. It was the grand finale now. “Topic for the discussion,” bellowed the moderator “Are women shattering the proverbial corporate glass ceiling?” Suhani started the debate by invoking a couple of long “business quotes” heavily borrowed from Harvard Business Reviews. She was passionately arguing that women have indeed breached the chimera of corporate glass ceiling. She was sailing smoothly. At the slightest opposition to her views her verbal volleys intensified and deflated the opponent. The audience clapped to her salvos and it was imminent that her team would win easily. She was veering to the conclusion that she was pretty much home and the swagger in her accent went all the more Americana. Suddenly, Karan spoke up and took her by complete surprise. She noticed him carefully for the first time. He spoke with conviction and there was no sign of any hesitation or stage-fright. He had flanked his argument with sound logic and slowly started closing in on Suhani’s team. He had deployed the erudite “L” shape strategy to win the argument. His views originated from an extremely opposite viewpoint then came round towards her side and then went vertically upwards in a perpendicular spiel. He had done it…halted Suhani’s juggernaut. The audience was taut with excitement and then roared into a thunderous applause. Suhani was stunned into silence.

She had underestimated the opponent, always thought of people like Karan to be meek, low self-esteem jerks… but that perception stood blown to smithereens. From that day on she started keeping an eye on him. She found out that Karan would speak only when he wanted to and that he was high on self-assurance. Now she was getting very interested in him. He was so different!

11.30 AM. St. Valentine’s Day 2009

Karan arrived in his bike and from the corner of his eye he saw a fidgety Suhani, waiting. As soon as he parked his vehicle she ran up to him and presented the rose to him. He blushed. What she said next turned his world upside down. “I want me to swing in your arms but before that I want you to love me!”She had said. His heart started pounding harder and his cheeks went purple. Well, a proposal it was, an odd one but mint fresh nonetheless! From that day on they were an inseparable couple. They would sit together in class, study together in the library, and go to the cafeteria, movies and wherever they could go in concert. Their friends often joked that why they didn’t try going to the lavatory together, as well.

19th April 2010

Placement season was over and our B-School had managed to place everyone and thus maintain its record of 100% employment for all its students. Suhani had landed a plum offer in a Large Advertizing firm and I was picked up by an MNC Investment Bank. Our final semester exams were round the corner but no one was overly serious about them because jobs were already in their kitties. I was annoyed with Suhani as she had gone ahead with her plan to take a week long acclimatizing session in the company she was slated to join in July. I wanted to spend the maximum time with her, as by the first week of July both of us would be posted in different cities. “My future boss has personally asked me to attend this session. How can I say no to him? Don’t be unreasonable Karan.” She had declared to me with an air of finality. Being an aware professional on practices of various industry verticals I had frowned on the unusual suggestion of her would be boss. Every management trainee who is inducted in an organization has to undergo a formal process of training in all functions only after formally joining the company. Pre-induction sounded strange. My sixth sense forewarned me of something improper coming my way.

10th June 2010

When the original farewell date was initially mooted the Director and Dean of our college were abroad on a special assignment, so our farewell party got scheduled on the last day of the Fourth Semester Exams. Suhani had not met me for over a week even after she had come back from her ‘so called’ adaptation session. I accosted her outside the cafeteria but was shocked at the way she received me. No customary hug, nor any of her trademark giggles. She barely acknowledged me and said “Karan, we will chat in the evening”. I could sense that something was amiss. She didn’t connect with me that evening. In the next few days I figured out that she had changed completely. I could not fathom what could have happened in a week that led to this transformation. I was battling mixed emotions but deep down my heart I had that inevitable sinking feeling of despair.

The Farewell party started with loads of formal thanksgiving, valedictions and bonhomie. When the spirits started flowing emotions started running high. Guys and girls were cuddling each other promising to keep in touch. My mind was completely distracted. I cornered Suhani for a hard talk but she kept evading my questions with flimsy answers. In frustration I downed a few vodka shots and got high in no time. In an inebriated state I was finding my way to the washroom when I heard something that halted me abruptly. “I thoroughly enjoyed your body massage, Sir!” It was unmistakably Suhani’s whispering voice. She was talking to someone over the phone. I froze. Alcohol drained out of me instantly and a seething rage of betrayal started taking hold of my entire being.

We had a massive show-down and at the end of it our relationship was over. Two wisdom enhancing things however remained with me. One was the pathetic logic she had peddled ‘corporate life demands compromises’ and the second was ‘why not enjoy, when you have the opportunity.’

5.55 AM. 9th February 2014

I saw her boarding the aircraft; thankfully she did not see me. We were peacefully away from each other.

At Bengaluru airport she saw me. We tried to smile but the labour was too much for both of us. Clinically we exchanged bare-essential pleasantries and decided to take the same cab to Randhir’s farmhouse. It was a long drive and the silence between us was deafening. I summoned some energy and asked her how her job was going. She replied, “I no longer work for that advertizing firm. I am into freelance consulting assignments. This stuff is more rewarding.” She didn’t ask me what I was into these days. Both of us remained quiet thereafter. When we were about to reach the destination of the wedding, her phone rang. I could hear a muffled voice from the other side. “I am trying hard Mr. Pandey, don’t push me harder. Those files are classified property and even the minister has limited access to them.” She almost yelled on the caller. In quick reflex I asked her, “all well, Suhani?” She tried to smile but it looked contrived. We reached the farmhouse and were immediately swarmed by old buddies. The festive atmosphere diluted the air of tension that had enveloped Suhani and me. Pinto, Ruchi, Manoj, Rajesh, Mona all were there, regaling in laughter and merriment. Randhir, the bridegroom, was being force-fed with chicken tikka and a jarful of strong beer. In the good cheer we re-lived the campus days. It hurt me like hell to reminisce those days. Off and on Suhani kept taking calls from undisclosed persons and every time she wore a woeful look after her conversations got over. Her belongings reflected that she was rolling in big moolah, probably much more than all of us put together. She even flaunted her expensive diamond jewellery to Mona and Ruchi. Her wedding gift to Randhir made everyone sit up. She had gifted him a fully paid honeymoon package to Europe! After the wedding, she came to me and said, “I’ll be leaving early tomorrow, but before we part I wanted to say a few things to you.” “I know what I did to you was wrong and I regretted it too. But, I must add that I have traversed a great distance in time since the day I made my choices. Hence, I no longer feel guilty nor do I regret anything anymore.” She left. I kept gaping at her receding figure for a long-long time.

7.00 AM. 14th February 2014 (Valentine’s Day)

Suhani’s body was found by local farmers and soon cops came and whisked away the body for post-mortem. Karan switched on the TV late in the evening and was surfing channels mindlessly. Suddenly an image caught his attention on a news channel and he put the remote down. “Suhani Singh, the celebrity communications consultant was found dead in mysterious circumstances. The post-mortem report confirms murder by strangulation.” The news reporter hollered.

Karan went numb. He stood motionless for several minutes. Instinctively his hand reached for the key chain with the fob of tears. He cried as he was looking at it. After a long while he sobered up. His mind whispered from deep inside. “Indeed, the choices we make define the end we take.”