"Hedging Your Bets" Is Not a Winning Strategy for Influential Communication

By Kelly Charles-Collins, Esq, MBA

Ever find yourself saying or writing things like “I just want to” or “I think,” “maybe,” “sort of,” or saying “sorry” when you really have nothing to be sorry about?

You’re not alone. Those often used phrases are a subtle but pervasive element of communication called “hedging.” We do this sometimes without even noticing. I realized that I often want to say or write “I just.” When I catch myself, I immediately remove it from whatever I’m writing or correct what I’m saying.

But sometimes, it’s hard to think of what to say instead because we are usually trying to make our communication seem more palatable.

While hedging might seem like a way to soften the blow or express humility, it can actually diminish our message and the confidence others have in our abilities.

In high-stakes conversations, every word counts.

Hedging can make us appear unsure, less confident, and even undermine our authority. It affects how our colleagues, clients, and even friends respond to us, potentially impacting decisions, leadership perception, and personal relationships. As we explore this topic, we’ll uncover how you can strip away these qualifiers to present a more confident, assertive self that aligns with your true intent and expertise.

Appetizer: Setting the Stage

Consider a scenario: you’re presenting a pivotal project that could define the future trajectory of your department. As you conclude, instead of asserting the next steps with confidence, you inadvertently invite doubt with phrases like “If that makes sense?” or “This might just be one idea…”. It’s these subtle moments that can undermine your authority. Today, let's start changing how we speak to change how we're heard and perceived. Because you know what they say, “perception is reality.”

Entrée: Unpacking Subtle Communication Habits

Effective communication is not just about what you say but how you say it. Here are common verbal habits that might be diluting your message and how to correct them:

Hedging

• Instead of saying, "This might help us, possibly increasing efficiency?" assert with, "This will increase our efficiency." Show confidence in your proposals.
• Instead of saying, "We could potentially see an improvement if we implement this solution," assert with, "Implementing this solution will improve our results." Demonstrate certainty in your recommendations.

Unnecessary Apologies

• Change from, "Sorry, just to add," to "I’d like to add." Own your contributions; they're valuable, not an intrusion.
• Change from, "Sorry if I missed anything," to "Let me know if there’s anything to add." This shifts from apologizing for potential oversights to inviting collaborative feedback.

Using Disclaimers

• Stop undermining your expertise with, "I’m not a numbers person, but…" and start using, "Based on the data, I recommend." Anchor your comments in evidence.
• Stop undermining your expertise with, "I’m no expert in this field, but…" and start using, "From my understanding and research, I suggest…" This approach still positions you as informed while keeping the focus on the validity of your contributions.

Undermining Structures

• Swap "I just think" for "It’s important to highlight." Command attention and emphasize the significance of your insights.
• Swap "I suppose we could consider" for "I recommend we consider." This changes from a tentative suggestion to a confident proposal, emphasizing your active role in decision-making.

Think about what similar phrases you are using in your everyday communication that might be compromising your credibility.

Dessert: Halt the Hedging

Elevating your communication involves more than just adjusting what you say, it's about how you say it.

To truly speak with conviction, use my R3 (R Cubed)? self-practice exercise:

1. Record: Use your smartphone or computer to record yourself delivering a speech or presenting a key point. Approach this as if you’re addressing your actual audience. This could be a rehearsal for an upcoming meeting or a reflection on a past discussion.
2. Review: Watch your recording and pay close attention to your use of language. Note any instances of hedging, unnecessary apologies, disclaimers, or undermining structures. Also, observe your body language and tone. Are they projecting confidence and authority?
3. Revise: Based on your review, revise your speech. Rewrite parts where you hedged your statements or used undermining language. Record yourself again, this time implementing these changes. Compare both versions to see the difference in how assertive and confident you appear when you eliminate hedging and speak with decisiveness.

By regularly practicing this R3 (R Cubed)? process, you’ll not only boost your confidence but also enhance how others perceive your credibility and authority. Try this out and see the evolution in your communication style—one that truly reflects your leadership and influence.

Check Please: Reflect and Engage

Think about your last few interactions or presentations.

1. Did you find yourself hedging or using qualifiers?
2. How might your message have been received differently if you had communicated with more conviction?

Share your experiences and thoughts; let's discuss how we can all evolve to become more assertive and influential communicators.

In every conversation, remember that your words have power. Use them wisely to build your credibility, establish your leadership, and increase your influence.

Until next time, remember ...

Your voice is your superpower!

Whether you need a keynote speaker, team skill building, or individual or group mentoring or coaching, let's schedule a call to strategize how we can partner to communicate with power & influence:

• Keynote Speaking & Team Skill Building
• Women's Leadership & Communication Skills Development

About the Author Kelly Charles-Collins, Esq., MBA:

Affectionately known as The Speaker Mogul, Kelly Charles-Collins, is a high-stakes communications expert and strategist who empowers teams and women to communicate with power and influence. An acclaimed employment law trial attorney and award-winning TEDx speaker, Kelly's insight shapes influential thought leaders and communicators. Her expertise, has been celebrated in media outlets like ABC, NBC, CBS, Forbes, and Fast Company, and she’s been recognized as a LinkedIn Top Public Speaking Voice and a 2-time Most Inclusive HR Influencer Award winner. Her books, including "Unapologetic AF" and "Convo Catalyst," offer real-world and practical perspectives for growth and impact.