Heather Younger and the Blackhearts

When did Heather and I meet? It should be obvious. I saw her dancing there by the record machine. I knew she must have been about seventeen. I could tell it wouldn't be long until- never mind.

Heather presented with Chris Spurvey at the first No Longer Virtual. I was not aware of her work. In the beginning I did not go to the conference for the sessions.

She connected with me before the conference. She and Dave Reilly approached me to break the ice. We did not meet for the first time on that fateful Thursday morning.

With a late flight I am not aware if there was a get together in the Ritz Carlton bar. Stay in upscale hotels and you never know whom you will meet. When I met Heather and Chris (I was aware of Chris Spurvey's work before the conference) my suggestion was Mixed Doubles Volleyball.

I am not as tall as either. Volleyball is one of the few sports I am good at. Without knowing Heather or her work; she wasn't the only person to win me over in the room. Maybe two people at that first conference did not resonate.

Men ruin everything. Heather was at a different table so I did not talk to her as much as the ones around me. Little did I know that a long term relationship was beginning.

The next conference was in Denver. She lives in Colorado so it was not difficult to commute. She did not like when I said people would treat me like an A-hole if I made video which was starting and adding no intelligence to this site.

Heather published her first book by this time. I am still working on my first book. I started that book when articles were read and enjoyed. Now that reach dried up- it is nothing new. I have a finished book and don't know what to with it.

I washed my hair and can't do a thing with it. The second conference was not as good as the first. Any time I enter with expectations or think I can continue the greatness; there are people who do not maintain the momentum.

The third conference had forty guests or so. Heather was there. We are there every year. There were many I did not have a chance to meet. There was a man named Craig. He seemed like a nice enough fellow. Our paths never crossed. That was Hannah's year and when Kimberly Davis met Melissa Hughes which remains the most magical relationship in the history of No Longer Virtual.

In between conferences- this is not like the Super Bowl even if I felt like Dan Reeves era John Elway at this year's iteration- there are posts and messages. Heather and I are August babies so it is easy to remember her birthday.

One reminder links to every other conversation. Many visited the first three conferences. The fourth was the line of demarcation. With Covid 19 and watching the country shut down as we began the conference- we were there and made the best of it.

Did anyone else have fun in March 2020? Heather, Amy Blaschka and Melissa Hughes were there. If the world were about to end- obviously it didn't- let this group be the last ones I see. History recalls them as:

Part Five of six. For a conference where many had to cancel it sure was significant. Spending time with these ladies is unprecedented. They are always with me.

Melissa lives in the same time zone as I do. I don't want to visit Florida right now. Kimberly is out of the country, Amy is in Northern California and Heather lives in Colorado. Lately she has been touring. That's her job. Making speaking engagements.

In the same way I forget to get married and have children; I forgot to look into speaking engagements. She referred me to The National Speaker's Bureau. Add that to the list.

2021 did not have a conference for reasons too dumb to mention here. The next one was in Park City, Utah. Amy and Heather commuted from SLC and when they arrived, better late than never, I began the second shift in the bar. They never got to their room until after midnight.

Which are the relationships you want to have. It seems strange I have never written an article on Jerry Maguire. Some go every year and wonder why they only hear from guests once per year.

What does that have to do with the iconic film from Cameron Crowe? As you recall, Jerry Maguire is fired and loses all of his clients except one. Staying with Rod Tidwell who wants him to "Show me the money" he does what he can and cultivates a relationship.

You'll have to watch the film to see if there is a new contract. Another player sees what they have and asks his slimy agent "Why can't we have a relationship like that?"

Caring leadership was not what Jay Mohr's character was interested in. This was the "Long Term Relationship" conference. At least I made the connection. Seeing key people once per year- it's not like a reunion. It's a continuation.

There are posts, comments and responses all year. We continue what we always do. Heather makes it so easy. She was amazed how I changed. Over the years I have listened more than I talk. Both are important to do. My conversations were more focused, according to her.

Not enough to invite me on her podcast. Now that I have steady work am I going to lament no one asks me on podcasts? It has no bearing on my job. I thought the time I showed leadership at the airport and was acknowledged in Tokyo after we landed would have led to a podcast.

It's a great story. We'll discuss it another time. Heather uses different colored hearts to show her appreciation and gratitude. Usually they are purple. I have seen red and blue at different times. It's a nice, quick response.

We had such a good time over the years I called her as I was flying to Chicago for this year's conference. We had a very nice conversation. I also learned she had a prior commitment and would arrive late, missing the bar meet on the first night.

In the afternoon session I sat near the door. When she arrived- Melissa had a similar situation in 2020 and I greeted her immediately. It took away from the one presenting who mostly acted like he was superior to me.

Heather never has. I did not have those great three way conversations with her and Amy where anyone else was willing to interject making a good conversation better.

The end of that conference is something best forgotten. No further comment. Why can't everyone reach out and listen? Too many were trying to build their business to the detriment of everything else. It's nice to be important. It's also important to be nice.

Heather always is. Occasionally I have alienated her in the moment. Don't do that. Sometimes I go too far. With a memory like mine; I don't want to overstep or hurt anyone, even for a moment. I recently read her third book and there are lines of communication. Not sure if I shall visit her in Colorado.

There are upgraded United Clubs at DEN. Heather recently met Trent Selbrede in the flesh. She believes in empathy, he does not, I have leaned closer to his belief system and it has no bearing on having a very good relationship. They have known each other a long time.

Which is why you should comment on posts. Treat them like a face to face conversation. Forget about "Reach" or impressing someone who might have read the comments. When you talk to someone who posts and you respond; a connection is made.

When and if you have the chance to meet that person it won't be the first time you spoke. Carry on a more advanced, deeper relationship. Heather is not the only one who cultivates deeper relationships. She is one of many and when she talks to me (or you, if you comment) One of one.

You never know who you will you meet. I only hope you are as fortunate as to meet someone on par with Heather. With strong communication and active listening you never know what will manifest.