Heart-Centered Lessons from Parenting
Jen Murray, MPH
Collective Healer | ????? ?? Breathe Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, & Belonging | Uplift Dignity + Humanity | Integrate Wholeness, Wellness, Well-Being, Health | Dynamic Speaker | Forbes Contributor
Taking a winding path and being in uncharted territory seems to be the constant experience of parenting. When you add in a pandemic, virtual/hybrid/in-person learning, negotiating screen time in a digitally alive age, and finding time to get the wiggles out, it can add up to a bountiful and abundant experience that continually reminds us to be unconditionally present. It is a true journey of heart. This includes listening from the heart, going "all in" with feeling, and elevating the nurturance energies essential to honoring who we are.
As I sit on the Hallmark created holiday of Mother's Day I have been reflecting on what the past year of parenting has meant to me and to my family. My mother has graciously come to spend time doing the "parental caregiving activities" of the day so that I can be present to a day of radical self-sustenance and self-care. In deep appreciation to be surrounded with love on this day and everyday. It seems chosen family and in this case parents know what you need most and when you need it. This spaciousness of time has afforded me an opportunity to write and just be. From my time of being and reflecting I arrived at my top five lessons taken from the heart of parenting in the year of "twin pandemics":
- "Dance through unknowns": When all else fails throw a spontaneous family dance party to elevate the energies. This might mean lip syncing for your life, moving your body to the rhythms of nature and almost always invites singing your heart out even if it is out of tune {inspiration taken from watching multiple episodes of Sing On!}. There is nothing more satisfying that just being free to express yourself which is what has been at the heart of resonating with the experiences of being 5 years old in a pandemic. Children encourage us adults to share in movement of body, mind, and spirit to elevate the vibrational healing potential in our world.
- "Honesty is the best policy." Know that even if you are celebrating a new decade amidst worldly changes feeling abundant frustration or disappointment, it is important to speak your truth always and unapologetically. Children are insistent upon telling the truth, finding the truth, and genuinely have an interest in being radically honest.
- "Let us just calm down and take space." Breathe and remember to stay calm always and forever that is the best approach when life hands you lemons make lemonade. Children will use mindfulness, connect from the heart with intention, and share love with intention. They are always striving to be present to what is unfolding in the moment.
- "What are the opportunities?" Seeing the openings, the possibilities and the gifts in challenges. It is so key to remember you are modeling how to navigate difficulties and when you offer insights your children will mirror them back to you when you need to hear them the most. They want to know what growth and transformation might be experienced as a result of going through challenging and difficult times. Remain curious and offer real talk of what is in your heart to show them a way of seeing hope in bleak circumstances.
- "Black Lives and Brown Lives Matter." This is the generation that will shift us onto a new path. They will innovate and create cultures that uplift the collective good and move away from ego and rugged individualism. They will dismantle the oppressive systems, decenter whiteness, and disrupt the problematic ways of being that harm and perpetuate White Supremacy Culture.
I recognize the tremendous privilege and gift it is to be one who has first hand experience with the joys and trials of parenting. Most of the trials stem from my own self-imposed limitations that are all dissolved with conversations that speak into liberation potential when engaging with a curious and open-minded child. Imagine how liberating it is to have a little human remind you of your inherent worthiness, see you as the "fancy one," "best of the best," look up to your every move, and honor your authentic heart center. The children create artwork on tapestries of limitless possibilities all to inspire us as adults/caregivers to be in touch with our #heart-centered ways of living and leading. Let us be receptive to having the future generations lead us on the winding new pathways of possibility for living in liberated and loving ways.