Hear from Abbeycare Graduate, Anne

Almost a year ago to the day, Anne phoned Abbeycare, and within two hours, she was admitted for a 28-day intensive programme for alcohol addiction. This phone call came after a period of 2 weeks, where she swiftly deteriorated, and was not only isolated from friends and family, but also parts of her home – some rooms became too uncomfortable to be in, and she confined herself to the living room towards the end. Not an extrovert, but certainly someone who keeps in touch with close friends and family, her cousin noticed the silence – and this led to Anne being safely and compassionately driven to Murdostoun Castle for the process of recovery to begin.

There are some prevailing fears around inpatient care – ‘how will I cope without alcohol?’, ‘why should this attempt be any better than the 10 times I’ve tried before?’ These questions arise in the midst of complex negative emotions such as fear, shame, guilt and embarrassment. On the one hand, patients may ask defensive questions to themselves and recovery professionals, on the other hand, they are totally vulnerable to a process of which they have no experience.

On admission, Anne describes: “a warm welcome, made very comfortable, provided with food and drink, an appointment with the doctor and then medication – I felt care and compassion, and it really made me feel at ease. They spoke to me without judgement – and at the time, this felt like a huge act of kindness; I’d not been able to feel kindly towards myself in such a long time.” She goes on to say that if she needed 10-15 minutes with a member of the clinical staff – she was never once told No – she feels extremely grateful for this approach and culture.

One of the tricky concepts Anne found to grasp was that at Abbeycare we deliver an abstinence only approach – so those hoping they can return to their lives and drink like their friends, is not something we advocate due to the significant risk of relapse. It is quite common for patients to feel daunted at the prospect of never drinking ever again – and Anne told me that the concept of “just for today, I won’t drink” really helped ground her and feel positive about being able to manage her future. She says there are of course bad days – but that “I get to bedtime, I’ve not had a drink – it really isn’t a bad day” and she’s just about to celebrate one year sober.

Anne and I talked about inpatient therapy, meeting other addicts also seeking a meaningful life and engaging in group discussions and free time. She told me about the peculiarities of clinic, living side by side people, sharing highly emotional stories with strangers – and the fact that group therapy is so firmly structured that it was possible for her to open-up without any fear. She spoke of her curiosity at certain aspects, such as briefly meeting someone prior to group, then feeling empowered by the facilitator to open-up with very powerful and emotional stories that led to her admission. She felt safe to do so, and this enabled her to immerse into the programme, getting the most out of it during her stay.

Anne decided to take an aftercare package with Senior Therapist at Abbeycare, Dave Fidler – some were in person, some via Skype – she says this additional support was “life changing”. Very early recovery can be a worrying time, which is why clinic staff begin aftercare plans as early in treatment as possible. It’s essential that patients continually bring their minds back to their own home, friends and family, workplaces, and work on strategies to stay clean and sober. 

Prior to treatment, Anne was quite physically unwell with conflicting responsibilities such as working as a full time GP, and primary carer to an unwell parent. She told me that recovery wasn’t an option – there was no time to sit down and make a plan. Initially, she stood back from her profession and following a steep dip in personal circumstances, she made her call to Abbeycare; here she found the space and time to think at last.

One year on, and still abiding by the ‘I will not drink today’ method of sobriety, Anne is calm, happy and forward looking. She socialises with family and friends, she’s booked a holiday to Italy and is making steps to go back into the medical profession following a period of voluntary work. 

Congratulations to Anne! Interviewed by Kate Hillier, Abbeycare Scotland, May 29, 2017

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Abbeycare Scotland Admissions Therapist provides a response to Anne's case:

Anne’s story, although unique to her, is a very similar one to so many others. Fortunately, she was able to get past her barriers to reaching out for professional help with her alcohol problems, even though she had her initial reservations.

By thinking she could handle it herself, only to try time and time again and not succeed, she was reinforcing not only the belief that she couldn’t do it, but also that it wasn’t possible for others to help her do it either. Anne described her feelings of care and compassion given, and her experience of being spoken to without judgement when she entered treatment at Abbeycare.

Often people struggling with an addiction can feel very isolated and judged. Their worlds shrink as they attempt to control and hide something they feel others will criticise, and concern over being “found out” has many people want to avoid close contact with family, friends and colleagues as much as possible, paradoxically, often at the time when they need support most.

To be able to feel welcomed, accepted and encouraged to address issues in a treatment environment, rather than hide them, is a powerful and motivating experience for many, and it begins to support the process of communication and creating closeness, trust and intimacy with others.

Initially Anne found it difficult to imagine staying sober for the rest of her life.

Total abstinence seems too much of a stretch for some to conceive of in their early days of sobriety. The uncertainty and fear of a complete change in living and lifestyle when being faced all at once, can be daunting, if not overwhelming. It can feel like being told you are going to climb Mount Everest NOW, and you know you haven’t prepared yourself in any way for that!

However, the Abbeycare abstinence model, combined with the practicalities of an evidence based CBT approach to addiction recovery, makes this an incredibly manageable thing to do; clients can handle the difficulties of their early days in sobriety much more effectively on a moment to moment, day to day bases, and every day ended sober represents in and of itself a successful day in recovery.

It does work!

It is an essential part of the recovery process to plan and prepare. Aftercare planning is an integral part of the treatment plan for clients at Abbeycare. We understand the risks and fears associated with early recovery and the stress of being away from the safe environment of treatment in those early times.

Anne recognised this and wanted to make sure she had a dedicated support network built up around her prior to discharging from treatment. She enlisted the help of the Abbeycare clinic team post treatment in the form of additional therapeutic sessions but she also continued to participate in, and develop her own non-professional peer support network outside treatment for when she felt ready to move away from the professional level of care.

Very much in line with her own back ground in the medical profession, she understood when professional help was needed, and when to begin to take responsibility to maintaining her own physical, mental and emotional health care.