Healthcare professionals, please don't assume things.

Healthcare professionals, please don't assume things.

After my C-section, at one of the best hospitals in the region, I was shifted to the room. I was in acute pain for 24 hours, and doctors refused to give me any more painkillers as they had already given me whatever was possible. I did not have even enough strength to even see my baby. My husband was sitting on the sofa next to my bed, holding my hand the whole night while I was crying in pain.

The next day, when the nurse came to teach me necessary things about baby care and me being a new mother, she spoke the same language as my husband's mother, who was present to assist us; at least that's what I was told.

They both spoke the same language, which I certainly did not follow at all. After their conversation, the nurse told me that my husband's mother knew everything; she would explain it to me, and the nurse left without explaining anything. She assumed that I would be taught how to care for a newborn baby, which never happened, and I learned by making mistakes, a lot of them actually.

Same with the nutritionist; she visited me, hardly spent 5 minutes in the room, gave me a printout that is easily available on the internet with no expertise required for it, spoke to my husband's mother, and left without explaining anything to me. I had no clue what I was supposed to eat or not eat. Why did she assume that someone who is not qualified would do their job just because they spoke the same language?

Why did they assume someone else would do their job when they charged us for every single service?

Not having my mother alive and next to zero support of any kind, the initial days of motherhood were not a smooth journey at all while balancing my new job, home, and unrealistic expectations. That was the time I missed my mother so much. I remember keeping her photo under my pillow. I was totally broken from inside, even when I think of that time, tears come in my eyes.

I was in acute depression post-delivery, when we saw the gynecologist. She did the same thing. She said it was normal and looked at my husband's mother and said she would take care of me, which made the matter even worse.

I fail to understand why all healthcare providers assume that someone else will do their job.

Why did they assume that a common person with no medical knowledge and expertise would know more than medical professionals?

Why did they assume that anyone who was assisting the patient would be kind and caring just because they spoke the same language?

I have not been vocal about it, however, I am writing about it as I do not want anyone else to experience the same.

Dear medical professionals, please do not assume things and do not give the benefit of the doubt to anyone just because they speak your native language, share the same cultural background, or seem to be kind to the patient. It is the patient who needs your support, especially when it is about a mother as it affects the child’s well-being as well. Talk to the patient directly, I mean it.

-Neetu Choudhary

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