Health Shots InFocus: Miley Cyrus' Flowers is a lesson in self-love

By - Radhika Bhirani

Creativity, inherently, is an expression of experiences, emotions and realizations - both good and bad. And American singer-songwriter Miley Cyrus' Grammy Award-winning 'Flowers' is testimony to it. Ever since its release and following the recent Grammy win, the song is being hailed as a self-love anthem for every woman. Note its lyrics:

"I can buy myself flowers

Write my name in the sand

Talk to myself for hours

Say things you don't understand

I can take myself dancing

And I can hold my own hand

Yeah, I can love me better than you can"

Self-love at its best in many ways, isn't it? Welcome to Health Shots InFocus, your weekly dose of wellness. Before you wonder why we're talking about Miley Cyrus, let me remind you it's the season of love. We're just days ahead of Valentine's Day, and it makes me wonder, why is it that we don't seek and nurture self-love so much while we are in a relationship. Why does it mostly end up being an after-thought of broken relationships?

I dialed up relationship coach Radhika Mohta is a Social Health Advocate , who started with a statement that has since stayed with me. It is something she tells her clients: "You are the cake and anybody else can only be the icing!" That is to say that people need to continue investing in their personal growth, whether or not they are in a relationship.

She explains: "When people go through a breakup, their heart opens up to a world of possibilities. They are able to give more time to themselves. But even when people are in relationships, it is important to have me-time, prioritize self care and have things to do and people to go out with, even without the partner. If you are going to pin all your hopes on one person to be your travel buddy, sous chef, mentor, therapist, crying shoulder, remember that one person cannot be a village to you. You need to have your own support system."

Of course, that doesn't always fill in for the pain that heartbreak can cause. But a support system can make you cope better.

Self-love, she asserts, is super important. But definitely not when the opposite of self-love translates to "I don't need anybody else in life and I am completely okay by myself for a lifetime." The "I, me, myself" may not always work. Humans are hardwired to have connections, community and a sense of belonging. What they need to remember is setting the right boundaries.

Miley Cyrus makes not-so-subtle references to her sour experiences with ex-husband Liam Hemsworth in 'Flowers'. Not only did she release it on his birthday, but the line 'Built a home and watched it burn' is like a nod to their Malibu home that was destroyed in a fire. Yet, the song gives a sense of empowerment to anyone who has been through a heartbreak.

In an interview with British Vogue, the Hannah Montana star had revealed that the song was initially meant to have a different and sad message. But as the magazine noted, she decided to "win than wallow".

Mental health expert Dr. Chandni Tugnait says artistes often use songwriting to process complex feelings that emerge while healing - sadness, anger, spite, doubt, pride and more.

The lyrics of this song, specifically, directly address concepts like gaining independence, nurturing self-worth, and embracing resilience in the face of hardship or betrayal in relationships.

"The singer lends her platform to normalize often-stigmatized emotions. It urges people to firmly establish one's standards, boundaries, and inherent value instead of minimizing or suppressing oneself in attempts to earn affection or avoid abandonment," adds Tugnait.

In a way, it also suggests that one can always redirect energy towards blossoming in new directions rather than fixating on perceived sources of loss.

Points noted, then! Cheers to self-love above all and everyone else.